As in - Have you some mental defects if your parents are cousins?
Are you married to your cousin? Do you have retarded offspring?
I’ll be going to pakistan in a few weeks, and one of the things id be trying to observe “cousin couples” and their young. Just curious. I personally am against it. But can’t force anyone or anything, so no offense.
Re: Are you retarded?
I wonder if you are going to go up to them and ask the same question…
Re: Are you retarded?
Heck no. I'd be observing their kids. If they are slow or what not.
Re: Are you retarded?
Relax alig, its okay if your parents are hooking you up with your cousin. Its not such a big deal, you'll be alright.
Re: Are you retarded?
I have seen only one case of married cousins(South Indians) in my lifeand their kids were partly retard.........and that with some scientific evidence makes me truely believe that marrying blood relative is totally no no for me.
Re: Are you retarded?
Heck no. I'd be observing their kids. If they are slow or what not.
I had the same notion ..I had a cousin who was marrying another cousin.....So I hope I hope their kids are fine when they have some. They r related from both sides. The guy really didnt want to but in the end succumbed to his mother's pressure
But coming to your point, I dont think its observable if the kids are normal. First thing is if they are not the rishtedaaran-e Pakistan are the baja blowers and it should have been on the rishtedar news network by now
Re: Are you retarded?
i can't put my finger on it, but the way "retarded" is used in this thread is really offensive. hmph. i think maybe its cos the word is pretty outdated...
anyway, i think it only comes into play with multiple intermarriages... if you're the first and stop your kids and grandkids and more future generations from intermarrying after you two, things should be fine. if however, you're the 4th or the 5th to intermarry from the same set of parents/cousins, then you're in for it probably.
Re: Are you retarded?
my parents are far - off relatives , but none of us is retarded -
yes kids are either slower than their parents or vey quick , but this happens in every case ,
Re: Are you retarded?
couldnt you use a more politically correct word like mentally handicapped, mentally challenged, even mental retardation sounds much better then the word retarded....it sounds offensive even if you dont mean to sound that way.
Also....there has been a thread (or 2) on cousin marriages and the effects on offsprings...if you are really gathering information on it...then perhaps you can do a search on here for it.
Here is my view....for me personally, I am against marrying any one of my cousins and it's not for medical reasons.
From the information I have gathered in the past.....there is only a slim chance that cousin couples can end of with a mentally handicapped offspring....that same chance is there if you marry out of your family as well.
Re: Marrying your cousin.
I have changed the title and move certain posts. I don't think Alig wanted to go personal rather gain some attention for the thread.
Coming back to the topic, there has been zero scientific explanation that suggest marrying a cousin results in children having any defects.
Re: Marrying your cousin.
Then this thread shud be locked.
Re: Marrying your cousin.
Everyone wants to fall in love.
It’s the stuff of movies, songs and dreams.
But what if you fall in love with your cousin?
For two cousins, romance bloomed when they met as adults after a 20-year absence.
“We ran into each other, at a family reunion,” Christie Smith said. “And we just struck it off.”
Smith said marrying her cousin, Mark, brought concerns.
“It was very scary, at first. I thought that it was something that was very wrong,” she said.
**Einstein Kissed His Cuz
Cousins who fall in love have a right to voice concerns. After all, marrying a cousin just isn’t done, right?
At least that’s what we’re taught to believe. Only primitive people who live in isolated places marry cousins, and it’s dangerous and leads to creating stupid children.
Or does it? A new study reveals the genetic risks associated with this type of pairing are not as great as once believed. **
And consider this — Albert Einstein’s parents were cousins, and he married his cousin, too.
FDR and Eleanor Roosevelt were second cousins, so were Prince Albert and Queen Victoria and former New York City Mayor Rudolph Giuliani was briefly married to a second cousin.
**In America, marrying your cousin is legal in 25 states and every year about 200,000 cousins wed.
Worldwide, it’s much more common. Twenty percent of all married couples are cousins. In some Middle Eastern countries, almost half of all marriages are to cousins.
**
Those Who Say ‘I Do’
But in America, cousins who find love also find public resistance.
“The overbearing concept is that, you know, ‘Cousins can’t get married,’” said Brian Wagner, who has been married to his cousin, Caren, for 14 years.
His dad and his wife’s mom are brother and sister.
“Some people see it as ‘inbreeding,’ or, you know, ‘incest,’ or something terrible like that,” he said.
Caren said she didn’t plan on their shared future, although her mom noticed they always liked each other.
“They played together. They fought over toys together. And they just had a happy good relationship as kids will,” said Pat Bradfield. “They were real kissin’ cousins.”
They initially grew up in the same area, but then Brian’s family moved away. Years later when Caren visited, their lives changed.
“When she showed up at the airport terminal and come off the plane, it’s just like everything came rushing back again,” Brian said.
“It developed beyond a ‘friendship,’ into a ‘OK, do you want to get married this weekend or next?’” Caren said.
Her mom says the idea “floored” her a bit, but because she couldn’t stop the marriage she was leery of voicing opposition in fear of losing contact with her daughter.
Instead, she offered some advice.
“In a marriage such as you’re contemplating, you have to remember that you could divorce your husband but you can’t divorce the whole family,” Pat said.
They lost one friend whom, Caren said, they just didn’t hear from anymore after they announced their union.
**Legality of the Marriage
Twenty-four states forbid cousin marriages.
The United States is the only western country in the world where these laws still exist.
“A lot of these laws have been on the books forever, and they have just not gotten changed,” Brian said.
The laws date back hundreds of years to the time when the Catholic Church campaigned against cousin marriages because in the Bible Leviticus says, “None of you shall approach to any that is near of kin.” **
Regardless, Caren and Brian had a church wedding in Virginia, one of 25 states where cousin marriage is legal.
“We talked to our minister. … And he knew and he didn’t have an issue with marrying us,” said Brian.
**Biological Implications
One of the reasons cousin marriage is taboo, is the assumption they will have kids with birth defects.
But a new groundbreaking study funded by the National Society of Genetic Counselors revealed that some beliefs about cousin marriage were unfounded.
Robin Bennett, who headed the study, told ABC News that the risks of having a child with a cousin were about “2 [percent] to 3 percent” above the average population’s risk for having a child with birth defects or mental retardation.
She says while there are risks, they’re “not as bad” as people perceive.
Other risk factors are higher. For example, there’s a 10 percent chance that a 41-year-old woman will give birth to kids with chromosomal defects.
If one parent has a genetic disease, like Huntington’s, they have a 50 percent chance of passing it on.
Bennett gives parents the risks but will not tell them not to have kids.
She advocates that cousins who are romantically involved have genetic counseling before they get pregnant. **
Brian and Caren went for counseling and were told the risk for birth defects was low, but their kids might have asthma, which runs in the family.
They now have two boys, ages 14 and 10, and both have asthma. But they don’t think twice about their parents being cousins. They’re also at the top of their classes in school.
The rest of the family has come around and say they couldn’t be happier with how things have worked out.
Ultimately, Caren and Brian say it may have been their family connection that led them to fall in love.
“We could communicate,” Brian said. “We had the same values, as far as raising children. … It’s a match.”
This story was originally broadcast on “20/20” Aug. 6, 2004.
Re: Marrying your cousin.
Some interesting facts about cousin marriages. First, it is common every where in the world and was a norm in the past. Second, United States is the only country that forbids cousin marriages, which has lot do with Catholic Church's campaign. Third, there is no scientific prove that suggests cousin marriages lead to birth defects in children.
Re: Marrying your cousin.
Thank you for changing the title MWAP....
Ali_g, you are going about this in completely the wrong way. ANY child can have an "off" day and therefore fit into a special-needs category during that time. And your watching with a critical eye is certain to be picked up by the parents - parents tend to be sensitive about things like that and pick up on it like radar.
As has been discussed many times here, if you plan on marrying a cousin and have concerns, seek a session with a genetic counsellor who can tell you exactly what your personal risks would be. The more inter-marriage that has gone on between the 2, the greater the percentages of chance for genetic abnormalities. But even so, there are risks even with 2 completely unrelated persons. Get used to the idea that any baby is a blessing from God and be grateful if you are so blessed. Troubles or not, you are given your child for a reason.
Re: Marrying your cousin.
I think it has become a stereotype that in asian culture cousin marriages are "the done thing" or even "normal"...........wehn I had my second miscarriage, the first question the nurse who comforted us asked (when we asked "Why again"?) was "Are you two related? Are you cousins?". The answer was no, we are not cousins....very very distantly related though.
My parents are first cousins and this type of thread makes me start asking all sorts of questions about my history/unfortunate experiences with the miscarriages and resulting health problems
Re: Marrying your cousin.
wanna-be, a genetic counsellor would map out both sides of your families, go over whatever health problems there may be on each side and then give you precise statistics and percentages of risk...it may have absolutely nothing to do with relatedness, kwim? Its less likely. Its more likely within families that have been inter-marrying for generations. But like I said, there are so many things that can go wrong even with two unrelated parents and even with genetic testing, other things can go wrong - so many things that the birth of a baby is quite an astonishing miracle, never to be taken for granted (imho). May your miracle happen for you soon!
Re: Marrying your cousin.
Two of my mamoo's married their cousins and their kids are perfectly sharp and fine. My grandparents were also cousins to each other.
Two of them married outside the family. One of them has a handicapped child who is not so much as mentally handicapped than he is physically. The other had a daughter who had problems at birth and passed away a few days later.
Re: Marrying your cousin.
Thank you for changing the title MWAP....
Ali_g, you are going about this in completely the wrong way. ANY child can have an "off" day and therefore fit into a special-needs category during that time. And your watching with a critical eye is certain to be picked up by the parents - parents tend to be sensitive about things like that and pick up on it like radar.
As has been discussed many times here, if you plan on marrying a cousin and have concerns, seek a session with a genetic counsellor who can tell you exactly what your personal risks would be. The more inter-marriage that has gone on between the 2, the greater the percentages of chance for genetic abnormalities. But even so, there are risks even with 2 completely unrelated persons. Get used to the idea that any baby is a blessing from God and be grateful if you are so blessed. Troubles or not, you are given your child for a reason.
Well said Mamaof3! Children are a blessing indeed..and not everyone is fortunate to have them. I also wouldn't recommend observing the children of cousins as parents have a sixth sense about these sort of things.
Re: Marrying your cousin.
Just to add to what Angel Eyes said, I think the chances are slim of cousin-cousin marriages resulting in children with disabilities/problems. I am against marrying a cousin etc...but I do have family members who married cousins, and Mashallah no issue at all. Now on the other hand, my 1 uncle has a daughter with a problem, she was born with almost no neck and is deaf....
but what's the explanation? He did NOT marry his cousin. He married completely outside of family, city everything. The ladies parents werent related either. So really how do we explain that. Sometimes it just happens.
I don't know where you live, but think about this. In the US, there are quite a few children born with Down's Syndrome and other such genetic defects...these pure amreekans/goray whatever do not have inter-cousin marraiges, but still have problems. Im not favoring cousin marriages, but questioning how these deformities come about...other than drug/alcohol usage etc.