Errr… Red: the ‘rigorous investigation’ comment was a joke (and a dirty one at that). Let’s just leave it there, shall we?
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!? IF MY STALKER ACTUALLY HAD MONEY, I WOULDN’T BE MOCKING THAT STUPID LITTLE $HIT; I’D BE APPLAUDING HER AND HER GOLD DIGGING COUP! Being ugly and skint and yet marrying rich is like winning a golf-tournament despite the fact that you have no arms! It’s heartwarming, is what it is!
Scratch that: I wouldn’t celebrating her, you’d all be celebrating me, because I’d marry that nutty b@stard despite the fact that he used to chase me down at weddings, used the internet to keep tabs on me and gave me nightmares every day of the week. Sure, I might have to walk out of the union a week later, but I’d be walking on brand-new Jimmy Choos! Don’t ever suggest otherwise!