If its one sided love then you definitely need to reconsider your decision which is one of biggest ones you will ever make in your entire life. Right now you may think you are correct and your parents are wrong but believe me they know and have seen alot more than you have
I am getting married in July and trust me it wasn't easy. But I knew I would never ever find someone like him again and I just couldn't let go. It wasn't only love it was understanding, mutual respect and a connection we both had and still have 3 years later Alhamdullilah.
Keep your parents interest at heart. They only want what's best for you.
i agree about listening to your parents, but if you have something that you think is worth fighting for and will make you happy, then thats important to hold on to aswell. Parents don't always know whats best.
True that we owe our parents a lot, but that isn't to say we shouldn't follow our own hearts and be happy, isn't this something we have a right to?
By the way, just a repeat of some other messages, but why is it one sided?
i agree about listening to your parents, but if you have something that you think is worth fighting for and will make you happy, then thats important to hold on to aswell. Parents don't always know whats best.
True that we owe our parents a lot, but that isn't to say we shouldn't follow our own hearts and be happy, isn't this something we have a right to?
By the way, just a repeat of some other messages, but why is it one sided?
i agree totally!! well said!! parents opinion does mean alot, ofcourse but you are your own person and have the right to make your own decicions!
I agree with some guppies and don't with the others at the same time. Lets say for eg, your dad wants you to get married to a guy from a village in Pak, you guys have nothing in common. The idea of getting gmarried to such a person makes u wanna disappear. In these situations, it's nice to have parents who are broad minded and can work out that the chances of the marriage being successful are pretty slim. If parents are being stubborn then you should put your foot down and try to convince them.
Asalam..i would say. Shaadi ekrney k waqt demaagh and dil dono se kaam lena chahyee...yr intentions were right..he left tu ismain apka kiya kasoor..next time b more careful..waisya bhi kiya gurantee k jo parents choose kertey woh chordh k jata ya nahi...
anywyas...its abt clicking togetehr..aur waisay bhii sab ko mana liya kerain ..if yr parents didnt approve of him ....try communicating with dem..and reasons puchain ...jo unko sahi nahi lagain ..and phir based on tehir experienced and knowledge apna faisla lain...
I would say faisla end main apka apna hona chahyee..:)..sab kuch nazar main rakh k ..the positives and negatives ...
Personally, I am 99.9% sure that my parents would approve of the person I would want to marry because I would keep them in mind (the things they consider important as well...not just whats important to me) when picking my partner.
But if I ended up liking someone they for some reason didnt like...i would try my best to convince them.
However....In the end, I know I wouldnt marry someone they didnt approve of because I know they have my best interest in mind. There must be something they see that I dont.
Love makes a person blind at times....so it's best to hear what others have to say and not just ignore them instead consider their views and judgement and not just own.
I agree that love makes a person blind... but what about the relationship where there is no love.. its just a commitment to make ur parents happy.. though its a good thing.. but what about our happiness..?? do'nt we deserve to be happy?
loving and marrying someone our parents dnt like... its not a crime.. atleast its not from the research i've done yet... but yes... we do need to have parents' consent.. cos after all we are what we are because of them and we can't deny the fact how important a family is...
I think parents should atleast... have a look.. meet... and think to consider what their daughter.. or son.. has chosen to be their life partner..
I want to coment on what vaqar said. ' the relationship where there is no love'. How can u tell there is no love in arranged marraige. Only diff is love starts after the wedding n in love marraige it starts b4. Its just the matter of the situation u r in. And every thng else depends on luck. I had choice of both. I was asked if i have some one in mind i can tell them. I told my both uncles ill go wth their choice. (i live wth my uncle cuz parents passed away) i couldnt blv how much they were happy with ths decision. They chose my dad's really old frnd's son 4 me and asked me about it. I had seen the guy some 6 yrs ago bck in pakistan. Yeh it kinda feels weird i havnt even talked to a guy im getting married with. But i am satisfied tht my family has my best interest. And im glad to see how much effort they r putting 4 the wedding. I would say go for istakhara to ask Allah wht is good or bad 4 you. You shouldnt only listen to what ur heart says. Be practical and thnk that whole thng is about you having a happy married life. If u wont hav a happy life with ths guy thn whts the point? Do istakhara. If it says yes then ask ur mom to do istakhara for the same guy if it says yes then it will b easy to convince ur parents. If it says no then dunt play wth ur life. If u do istakhara then u must follow. If you go against it then you loose Allah's help. One of my friend did istakhara and it said no. But even then she fought with her family but now she is having an awful married life. Its not even one year yet. May Allah bless her and good luck to you with ths matter. Only remember life is not a fantasy. Allah and ur parents have ur best interest. They love u. Good luck :)
lol..waisay bhii merey aprents ne bhi option mujhay yehi dii thi..i would say arrange marriages main we can always try to get to knw de person first by Having halal meetings with yr female friends and him...coz this way agar app jazbaati bhi hojaoo tu frienddss can point out what they ddint like abt de guy..infact they can alsoo observe his other traits jo shayad hum na dekh payain and alsoo..dey can talk over de net ..likan appropriate chat/and conversations hoon more to get to knw dem..:)..and den agar woh sahi lagay tu shaadi ker leni chahyee:)
i said what i said becoz...this family jis k baray main my friend told me ..said the guy was mentally unbalanced.tu parents ne pakistan se larki k saath fone pe nikkah kerwaya i think..well i am not sure per i feel it was wrong..they need to b aware of eachotehr and b satisfied with their personailities as well.coz saari zindaagi saath rehna hai..ek din nahi:P
Interesting topic. Arranged marriages in this day and age, especially for expats living abroad is something that needs to be rethought of. Girls back home can still make compromises and are often suppressed, but it just doesnt work here anymore. I hope parents realize that, and be a little more rational, understanding and accepting, or otherwise the marriage is bound to fail, or at least, make their lives very miserable. To any parents out here on GS, give your daughters a chance to choose someone they like, dont just force it upon them. I am sure, theyll make the right choice.
Interesting topic. Arranged marriages in this day and age, especially for expats living abroad is something that needs to be rethought of. Girls back home can still make compromises and are often suppressed, but it just doesnt work here anymore. I hope parents realize that, and be a little more rational, understanding and accepting, or otherwise the marriage is bound to fail, or at least, make their lives very miserable. To any parents out here on GS, give your daughters a chance to choose someone they like, dont just force it upon them. I am sure, theyll make the right choice.
Hope some of the less liberal parents do take this into account :)
when ur love you can be very naive. i fell for someone who absolutly adored me, and was there for me all the time. Anyway he started making future plans waay to early and i got sucked in and fought to marry this guy whom i foolishly beleived would "die without me"!!
End of the day i put my whole family through soo much, and i can never thank my dad enough for putting his foot down and making me see sense.
so from my experiance i honestly beleive parents know best. but obviously for some people circumstances are different.