Hope fully my little tid bit will make you feel better. :/
My brother and bhabhi were introduced by their friends when she was visiting ny. They were friends for over 2 years and fell in love. In total, they knew each other for 3 years before my parents or her parents even found out they were involved. My brother however was "semi-engaged" because in our kind (lol pathans) a word of mouth is equal to an engagement. Anyway, he didn't like my cousin whom he was engaged to and told my mom about my bhabhi. EVERYONE WAS MAD! No one had ever gotten married out of the family, let alone from a different caste. They hated her without even knowing her because she was urdu speaking/from karachi and we're pathan. When we were going out to give the wedding cards I constantly had close relatives making faces and saying "you couldnt find a pathan girl for him?, Are all the pathan girls not enough?" Anyway, with my bhabhi they pretended to be really nice but behind her back they'd talk about her. It's been 3 years now that they've been married and they have a daughter. My own Khala(the girls mom whom my brother was "semi-engaged to") loves her. She really did make the family love her. My point is, we approved of her because HE loved HER. Your extended doesnt matter when it comes to something so serious. If they love you, they'll love him but it'll be a long process. Just wait, they'll come aruond.