marrying first cousins?

Lifestyle Relationships
41

Re: marrying first cousins?

I married my 1st cousin. but my children wont.

reasons- my husbands mother and my father are both out of family, so is not same genes going around.....we are a handful of ppl who married cosuins, and that too, because he fell in love with me and all that drama, and so wanted to marry me, me being his cousin was besides the point.

both my children are alhumdulilah normal.

i know people who have disabled children, who married outside of family.
i know people who had normal children marrying inside of family.

these things, are for allah to deicide. allah can give us a disbaled child, regardless of who we marry.

yes theres science behind not to....BUT theres science behing smoking can kill, and cause cancer- I dont see many people using that as a reason to stop smoking.

42

Re: marrying first cousins?

Forbidden Relatives: The American Myth of Cousin Marriage - Martin Ottenheimer - Google Books

43

Re: marrying first cousins?

I don’t get it … I’ve done some calculations purely based on two factors:

Likely Pairings (Where I introduced my own indices)
Probablity of Expression (As is done with chromosomal pairings)

Generation 0

We have 4 (Aa)s - Aa is a Carrier (C), 4 (aa)s - aa is a recessive gene expressed (E) and 4 (AA)s i.e. non-carriers (N).

The possible pairings are:

(C,N), (C,C), (N,N), (E,N), (E,E), and finally (C,E)

Some of these are more likely than others to be paired in marriage. I took it as reasonable to set all pairings of carriers and non-carriers as equal to 30% each … and all pairings with expressed recessive genes totalling 10%, (E,N) and (C,E) would hence be 4% each, and an (E,E) pairing would be 2%.

As can be seen in the six pairings above, there are indeed 4Es, 4Cs, and 4Ns.

This gives a 1:1:1 - N:C:E ratio respectively.

In Generation 1, the ratio changes to this:

1.591 : 1.091 : 0.348

And then so on to the ratio of 5th Generation, which becomes this:

10.19 : 1.546 : 0.005

As can be seen the amount of carriers in 5 generations does increase by about 55% (1.546/1), however the Es drastically fall and tend towards elimination.

Conversely the pure Ns grow by over (1000%) (10.19/1)

**Unless there is another factor that suggests the recessiveness becomes dominant when handed down multiple carriers then the numbers suggest that recessive undesirable traits are eliminated even in the same gene pool … My conclusion is that “Carriers” merely pose the possibility of undesired expression, but the system is heavily geared against it …

**Besides this is all based on probability - It may well be that two married carriers have 4 children all of whom are in themselves non-carriers - this is quite possible given that two carriers (Aa,Aa) can have the following (AA, Aa, aA, aa) combinations. In my calculations I have assumed that each combination is equally weighted … but that weighting is an assumption the true weighting is really reliant ultimately on The Creator … not chance !!!

44

Re: marrying first cousins?

I would not marry my first cousins because we are raised together and raised as siblings so it would not just be acceptable. It would be just gross in my case.

I dont judge people who do marry their first cousin because I think its considered as normal in desi society and well everyone does not know all of their cousins so who knows even if you dont plan to get married with your cousin, u just might fall in love with ur cousin. I just think this is again everyone`s*personal decision *and it depends what kinda relationship you have with ur cousins. Like for example in my case, I call my guy cousins "Bhai" and they are as much of my siblings than my real bhais are so I could never imagine them any other way.

45

Re: marrying first cousins?

I ask my mom this question all the time about her family. Her family is the epitome of desi jahaliyat though. They only marry cousins because 1) we're syed and, according to them, MUST MARRY OTHER SYED. 2) they consider themselves "gaddha nasheen" of some place so marrying other zaats is considered "lowly" 3) marrying cousins ensures that no one gets taken advantage of (biggest joke ever considering that a lot of these couples are struggling and theirs a lot of abuse and cheating going on).

An old uncle of my mom's had the audacity to question how "Muslim" I was while I was there because when he asked me why I didn't marry my cousin (IN FRONT OF EVERYONE, mind you) and I said that it didn't say in Islam that we HAD TO.

46

Re: marrying first cousins?


Islam unequivocally allows marriage between cousins...PERIOD!

everyone has a choice who he/she marries but some make it kinda 'Haraam' upon themselves by saying "we are like siblings..."...well, they are NOT! Islam says...do NOT make Halaal things Haraam or Haraam things Halaal while Allah has already decided it for you as to what is Haraam and what is Halaal...so, we've no right to make amends in Deen by our words or practice.

47

Re: marrying first cousins?

^Not chosing to marry your cousin is not really making it haram upon yourself..

Eating meat is halal but choosing to be a vegetarian is not haram, is it? We have the choice whether to do it and it's ok as long we're not enforcing our views on others..

On a side note tho excessive cousin marriage**** (like a lot of other halal things done in excess) is discouraged.. we should use common sense and good judgment..

48

Re: marrying first cousins?

OP, are you being pressured to or just curious?

right or wrong it has been going on and i think it will to in the future as its usually parents who way too often push their children to it ...... i think

49

Re: marrying first cousins?

Some of my cousins, we were raised together and marriage with them would be out of the questions...icky/gross. We see each other as brother/sister too much for anything else. My husband is my uncle's son (from my dad's side) and was born and raised in Pakistan, we didn't know each other at all. I wouldn't have my children marry their cousins simply cos I'd feel the risk would be too high then. It really does depend on generations of marrying within your family. At the end of the day though, my faith in Allah is strong. If He wishes, than anything is/is not possible.