she got to be serving, obedient, & beautiful
but she cannot be helping, collaborative in partnering, and smart as in the whole person
that is where i feel i have been mistook, if he was honest to me at all
on the contrary ,
for women: would you marry a strong man or a weak man
he got to be religious (to his own purpose), confused tough and incomplete
or someone who was seen as able to improve himself in his perspectives as in non contradictions, consistent in his personality, and sustainable through practical, valueable caring, sharing and loving?
that is where he did not give me any space to prove that i will be fine for him and he will be for me
reason why i brought this here is this: we hear alot about feminism, today, i willl talk about masculanism.
something no one ever spoke of - he must know that he got me wrong, and his weak behavior is not good for his own self.
and other women and men, must not become victims of this assault of true feelings and sincere emotions like he did.
Dush! I usually don't discuss about my personal life but this is specially for you.
I went in to marriage without any expectation. I never gave any thought before if my wife should be working or not working, beautiful or not, mentally strong or not, etc. I did not even think about what kind of character she would have or she would be religious enough or not.
My realizations before marriage were following:
No two people in this world are alike, so my wife won't think the same way I do. I won't expect her to think like me.
Whatever happened in her life before our marriage will be none of my concern. I had faith in my God and my only expectation were from my God.
I had never believed in love as a rational feeling, however, I had always believed that my wife would be the only women in my life (apart from my mother and sister) to have my affection and attention.
Marriage will be a compromise and regardless of her understanding, I shall be as much compromising as is humanly possible of me.
I myself had highly independent soul before marriage, I shall not hinder my wife to express or observe her individual stance.
These were the most important ones. For some they may be highly objectionable but I don't see any of them matching with the qualities of person you are meeting.
See Dushi... No-one is truly strong or weak at any point in their lives...Until they have certain experiences. Thats when you really find out your true strength (or weakness) Sometimes its too late ie you are already married or you have parted ways.
The way I see it is that this man had his moment and proved he could not back you up...so believe me that ou are fortunate you found this out when you did. Otherwise if it had come up later on in life, you would have had to be extra strong to bear up with the consequences.
Get some sleep sweetheart...you posted way too late (or too early?)
Alot of people may foolishly say that I am a typical Asian, subservient, housewife. As though it's just a cultural expectation I'm fulfilling to please others. But for me it's a very conscious decision to run my home, raise my kids and manage our life. I try to run it like a business, an equal partnership. Because I know I"m not his maid. And my husband graciously tells me my job is harder than his. This talk about weakness or strength is very subjective. I don't feel it can be truly understood by others. If someone has confidence and a passion in what they do or want they feel fulfilled.
I feel I'm the pillar in my kids lives. I provide the structure and love on a continual basis. It's never a burden or duty. I feel my husband is a very strong person not just for the typical masculine qualities of being a provider, hardworker. But he's emotionally open. He's the first to discuss how he feels, his insecurities and fears, his hopes and dreams. He's an open book and that takes alot of strength to be vulnerable like that. I respect that quality alot in him.
My husband's thoughts are exactly like Dr. witch and it made our life so much easier.
I think lot of people don't have that much time to think about all these things before marriage, or atleast I did not think about it.