I dont know if this is too touchy a subject as I know some GS members have this relationship. So if it is, please delete this entire post.
This question is related to an issue a family we know is going through right now.
Would you disown a child that married someone who was of a religion not recognized by Islam in terms of a legal marriage?
Would you agree to put on the wedding and participate in it or would you consider that unislamic? Would you attend a wedding where this happened?
In this case, the girl is hindu and has expressed possibly converting, but she hasnt as of today, and her family is going to disown her. The guy is muslim but his family will not disown him.
Both sides are very distraught and dont want it to happen, but the guys side is willing to put on the wedding anyway.
Everyone has tried talking both of them out of it.
If they love each other enough to endure the pain of all this, then the families should accept it and be supportive.
Personally, I'd never "disown" my child for any reason, let alone something like religious or cultural background of a prospective spouse. I want them to marry someone they love, someone that will be a "life partner" for them, someone they will be happy to grow old with.
"Disowning" your child for marrying outside of their religion - that goes completely against any religion that I've ever heard of.
I also wanted to know your thoughts about attending the wedding unless of course you dont wish to share them here. The distant family members are having issues whether to attend or not. Whether its considered showing support for a practise they consider is not recognized in Islam.
If the girl in a case like this (being hindu). If she accepts Islam then nothing wrong with it. The family should be ok with it. If it was the other way round (guy being hindu) Then if he also accepts Islam, then should also be nothing wrong with it.
But if the girl or the guy remains Hindu, then I would not attend any such wedding as it is not allowed in Islam.
My first cousin married a Hindi gujerati girl he met in Uni in the US ... neither family was too pleased, I think hers doesnt speak to her because she converted, but that was a few years ago and they have a son now and everyone appears to be okay. I think parents should allow their kids to make the decisions, they are adults after all. If parents raise their kids to be independent and then impose such things as to whom they should marry, things can be really difficult. Its their life after all.
I agree with this comment. To decide about this problem, one has no other option but to follow what one’s religion says and Islam is very clear on this issue.
If your faith is solid, you wouldn't want to marry someone who believes in differently than you and risk your children not following your religion because of your own sexual/lustful/romantic preference.
isnt the girl converting before marriage? I guess the guy really doesnt care if she does or does not. I think people should think twice before getting involve with someone from different culture cuz its not impossible but its challenging to be in a relationship with someone like dat. Like gizzy said, if she become’s a muslim then i would attend the wedding only. Lets say if she does disown her parents and become muslim and they get married…will the guys parentlove her enough, so she wouldnt miss her own parents?
It's strange, I wouldn't mind if my son or daughter married a non-Muslim. I would be concerned about the pressures they would face from others and probably talk to them about it. I know it is wrong Islamically lekin in the end, it's not your job to punish your kids when they are adults, it's god's. So I would support them all the way, they will be getting enough crap from others anyway.
I don't buy the fairytale Hollywood love is blind concept. It's all about priorities. It is not allowed in Islam and besides religion it is still immature and selfish. It's not fair to families on both sides and once the honeymoon hangover is over the couple are going to face some tough times from their respective families. A marriage is always a risky and delicate proposition to begin with, without the trouble of added tension.
But religion and family are not big issues are for some people so I can see where it can work too.
I know a few people who have married Hindus or Christians.
A muslim girl married a Sikh. The family disowned her after they tried to talk her out of it or ask the guy to convert. Her argument was that we believe in one God nothing else matters. The poor father suffered a huge heart attack after that. Now the lady has a son and I think her parents have sort of accepted it.
A Muslim girl married a Christian guy. We initially thought he was converting because the girl's parents are fairly religious and know that a Muslim woman cannot marry someone outside the religion. So we went to the bridal shower but found out the guy will stay Presbyterian and they will have a civil ceremony. We were not invited to the wedding and we wouldn't have gone due to the fact that it is unacceptable in Islam.
A Muslim guy married a Hindu girl who converted like a day before their wedding. But the guy's parents did not approve or attend the wedding.
Personally if you are going to an inter-faith wedding then you are saying that you accept the marriage as Islamically acceptable.
I think for a Muslim, the first thing that would matter is what the religion says. There sis no question of saying the parents would let their kids choose what they want. Sometimes, it is apparant that the kids is not able to see the late consequences of his/her decision. In the temporary enchantment and excitment, the kid is not able to listen to any advice and considers him/herself wise enough to marry someone without weighing the pros and cons which later turns out to be a disaster....
For me being a Muslim, the only thing that holds important is what my religion says. Mary a Muslim girl (yes, within that I'll consult my parents too and think about the pros and cons). I'd rather notfall in that foolish love with a Hindu or Infidel lady. Marrying the ladies of the people of the book is permitted to me but I think in the presence of millions and billions of Muslim girl, why would I look towards a Christian or a Jew?
I think only parents should be posting to this thread. Unless you have a child of your own, its really hard to understand the fustration and anger of parents.
if my son wants to marry outside the religion, that will be a big issue for me and I'll never support that wedding. Being a Muslimwe should know whats right and whats wrong, what is liked by ALLAH and what pleases HIM. If the girl converts to Islam before marriage, (not just for the marriage) I will support the wedding. Otherwise, NO way.
Hell yea I would! And I think i would blame myself for not brining them up right. My parents have made this clear from the start and the thought of marrying a non-muslim wouldnt even cross my mind.
being a muslim - what is it that has the top most priority of all and who is most dear to us? its Allah.
So not just in this case scenario but in everyday life if we keep in mind that Allah is the most dear to us, so in case like a marrying a non-muslim, just think that how can you marry someone who does not belive in Allah who is most dear to you?
Even family and friends come second to Allah. Just this belief and though is enough for anyone to stay on the right path.
But sadly not many muslims have this belief now a days and are influenced by Bollywood Hollywood crap about love is everything and bla bla bla..
So if I see or read in this thread that people disown their son/daughter for marrying a Hindu or something, then my above post explains that very well.
I would never disown my child! I would however, before the marriage takes places, encourage the future spouse of my son/daughter to convert. I would myself give islamic classes to ensure that my bahu isnt just converting "majbooran" but starts to show genuine interest in Islam!! At this point i think that it's also very important or of significance to have a friendly environment at home where the child can sit down and talk 2 his parents about his plans and feelings& the parents should support and try 2 understand things.