what to expect n waht not?? advice plz
Re: marrying a girl from different ethnic setup
hmmm. what to say? I'm a "gori", my hubby is a paki. We love each other very much, he is the best friend and the most awesome husband I could ever imagine.
The only problems we've ever really had that could be considered "cultural" is the visiting thing - when relatives either pop in un-announced for 2 or 3 days or a relative comes over from overseas and wants us to take them shopping (with OUR credit cards) day after day. For weeks. It doesnt happen very often so its not a big deal but it is a pain in the neck and does cause friction from time to time. I guess I'm a cold un-hospitable gori-type lol!
Gori culture dictates that relatives or friends contact you in advance, schedule a visit (for a few hours) and thats it. There is the rare occasion with sleepovers esp if its a very close relative living far away but again, thats rare. And the further away or the longer the stay, the more in advance its scheduled. Cold I guess but life in the us of a is totally crazy - no 5 weeks of vacation - more like work 10 hours a day and some weekends, 2 weeks vacation and bills, bills bills. These things are just not understood "over there" (in Pak). They think we're just rich and enjoying the high life.
Re: marrying a girl from different ethnic setup
mamaof3, so u converted?
Re: marrying a girl from different ethnic setup
do you mean, converted to Islaam? Working on it. I want to complete reading the Koran. I like what I read. I do NOT always like what I see in Muslims although those I disagree with are a vast minority. So while I agree with and like what I've seen and have read up to this point, I want to finish my reading before I take that final step! Not an easy thing to do with 3 littles but I'll get there one day...
Re: marrying a girl from different ethnic setup
Expect to learn a few words of her language. Don’t expect her to conspire with her family in a language that you undersatnd. 
Seriously, I see no problem, if you people are compatible and have no communication barriers. I’m assuming that there’s at least one language that both the persons in question can communicate in. Otherwise, you’ll have difficult time using gestures that can be misunderstood. If the person is from Italy, never use this gesture: :k:
A good heart-to-heart talk can reconcile all language differences.
Brownie culture also dictates that. We just don’t want to have any culture.
Re: marrying a girl from different ethnic setup
IQ i think it depends which ethnic group u talkin about!
Re: marrying a girl from different ethnic setup
... it means that the girl has 2 bring alot of sacrifizes with her. It wont always be easy for her but if the husband is supportive and understanding then she'll soon feel comfortable and happy with things. The inlaws should be proud of her and shouldnt have unreallistic expectations.
Re: marrying a girl from different ethnic setup
Hmmm
Mamaof3, what if u let u know how n what (hubby side) close relatives feel about gori wife of their son / brother 
How come?? well my bhabi (bro wife) is a gori too. privacy is one of the major concerns with gori bhabi.
Re: marrying a girl from different ethnic setup
ok, let me scale down my Question.
what about a marriage between two different bradries (same religion, country but different cultural background)??
like marrige between pathan n panjabi
Re: marrying a girl from different ethnic setup
a marriage b/t a pathan and punjabi........ hmm pathans are much stricter as compared to a punjabi family (mostly). Well if a punjabi girl gets married to a pathan then she has to make many compromises for her hubby.... like "restrict" pleasurable things to begin with, for the pleasure and maintaince of the families respect.
Re: marrying a girl from different ethnic setup
we r punjabi and yes there have been marriages in my relatives among pathans, so its hard to say that what kind a rules can be applied here!
It all basically depends on individual thinking and his/her family
Re: marrying a girl from different ethnic setup
agree!!! what if gril is from conservative background whereas guy from liberal one?
Re: marrying a girl from different ethnic setup
then try molding her parents in a way that they can understand what u want. what i mean by this is always give them islamic reference and tell them that in islam there is no such mention of strict baradari kind of marriages!
Re: marrying a girl from different ethnic setup
well, i em not talking about the relatives or inlaws i em talking about guy n girl. What they should expect from each other n waht not?
Re: marrying a girl from different ethnic setup
good for u mamaof3... atleast ur making an effort to understand islam for the right reasons. so who gets to decide what religion the kids follow?
Re: marrying a girl from different ethnic setup
then U should have clarified it earlier 
Re: marrying a girl from different ethnic setup
lollyman, my boys are Muslims (well I guess they are Muslims-to-be, they're still so young!) but it was a joint decision. I have no religion as yet that I can fully beleive in. My husband does. So no argument there, the boys will follow and learn about the religion of their father (and maybe down the road, their mother too). We're all learning at this point and its not a point of contention in our house.
Re: marrying a girl from different ethnic setup
ImranQ-- What to expect and what not to expect is kind of an ambiguous question. There are lots of variables involved. It depends on the level of understanding the couple has achieved and the kind of individuals both are.
You would do well here by explaining a bit more :p
Re: marrying a girl from different ethnic setup
^ ok
IN A INTER BRADRI (SAME RELIGION, SAME COUNTRY BUT DIFFERENT CAST / CULTURAL BACKGROUND) MARRIAGE WHAT GUY N GIRL SHOULD EXPECT FROM EACH OTHER AND THEIR FUTURE INLAWS!!!
GIRL'S FAMILY IS MORE CONSERVATIVE WHEREAS BOY'S FAMILY IS MORE OPEN.
BOTH GIRL N BOY ARE EDUCATED AND LIKE EACH OTHER. LETS SAY THEY GET MARRIED NOW WHAT?? HOW TO DEAL WITH CULTURAL INCOMPATIBILITIES N DIFFERENCES BETWEEN THEIR LIFESTYLES!!
Re: marrying a girl from different ethnic setup
learn from each other, u should learn her's and she should learn urs!