Marrying a 33 Year Old Man

[Ghost14]

@homesick:9536558

Divorce rate is higher because the type of women I was referring to (American woman) marry later after going to several partners and finding Mr. Right. And when that Mr. Right does something wrong, these women always have someone else to compare them to. So don’t put words into my mouth and say that I said such a thing about any of the sisters on this forum. I might have some harsh things to say, but I won’t say anything like that to Muslim sisters. I said that that is the alternative ( notice how is used “that” twice without being grammatically incorrect? Where is my cookie?) Never think that the society is choosing to change the traditional model because it’s not; it is something that is forced upon us to break the traditional family structure since stable families don’t make good self-indulged working slaves and consumers. Watch “the century of the self” on Youtube and educate yourself as to why women were forced to come out of their homes and work in the first place. It has nothing to do with “progression” but consumerism. After WWII, big companies had advanced enough to mass produce products to the extent that there were not enough buyers; the companies found themselves in a dilemma. What to do with this mass production ability when there were not enough consumers? Increase the number of consumers by 100% by bringing the women out to work so they can earn and put the money back into the system by buying. Guess where they would work? Producing the very same products their cohorts will be consuming, and in effect giving the corporations more workers and consumers all in one shot. In the end, big corporations like individually driven societies pursuing personal interests, and slaving themselves to compete in the consumption of products produced by other slaves working for their sisters corporations. In the meantime, people like some individuals here think that means the society has progressed. “Century of the self” youtube or google video it and see much “progression” women have made sine WWII. You guys might have some valid points, but you have to understand that I am on a rant right now and will ignore everything everyone else has said.

This guy is pure class.

[queer]

Re: Marrying a 33 Year Old Man

at 33, the guys plumbing is probably rusty. go for a 17 yr old instead.

[NONIE]

Re: Marrying a 33 Year Old Man

@n7111

…That makes it an almost 9 year age difference. Is that normal?

I won’t stop asking these questions here unless I find my Mr. Right

I got married when I was 19 to a 34 years old man … I have 14 years difference b/w us …tell u the truth it is quite unpleasant when u r immature or u can say u r in young age … u take things light, but the guy if older (more than max 10) they think u r crazy u don’t know anything ,either they will take care u as a baby or they try to force u to be mature next day… … in any case … marriage is a gamble u never know …whats ur going to get… but… on the other side if u win … u win for the life becuz then it is nothing better than that … but if LOSE than u r gone … compromise, struggle those words come in our desi girl dictionary …Good luck… in my opinion… no its not a good idea…

[NONIE]

Re: Marrying a 33 Year Old Man

@queen_24

Age difference between me and my hubby is almost 6 to 7 years and I find it quite perfect in my case.
Before falling in love and marrying to him, I always wanted to marry someone with the age gap of maximum 3 years. Same age group was quite ideal for me. Then I fell in love with him, my hubby. I got married to him.
We are humorous in discussions, while fight too but something that I found great is the way how he handles the situation when we find us not on the same page or arguing, or not agreeing to a certain matter.

I think, if we were of the same age, circumstances wouldn’t be that similar. I would go crazy and he would loose his temper… but because he is mature than me, he is not AS emotional as am I, he is of course more experienced than me… he let go a lot of things. When I am being childish or stubborn over something.. he knows how to handle me Instead fighting or imposing he stays quiet and define me things logically.

There is many more I could explain you through my experience but the list would go on. Long story short.. I am absolutely ok with the age difference we have and luckily as me, he is being told quite often that you must be 28 or 29… while he is in his mid thirtys!!

u r lucky girl… in my case its opposite… he is stubborn becuz he has his habits that’s r not going to change and i had to change myself 360 to maintain the relationship.. he is mature but he wanted me to be mature , he fights and i keep my mouth shut… its not about the age… i think it is person to person…

[NONIE]

Re: Marrying a 33 Year Old Man

I agree !!!!

@queen_24

I believe, its more of a mental problem than an age difference problem!!

[homesick]

Re: Marrying a 33 Year Old Man

@Sara516

You know, amongst all your ridiculous tirades, you haven't answered this one question:

what's wrong with having 1 kid?

(not asking about the dog because I know that's a no-no for many religious/cultural people).

What's wrong with having just one kid or wanting just one kid? There is a huge difference between the two. I was referring to wanting just one kid. As for what's wrong with it from a religious point of view, we as Muslims are supposed to have many kids as encouraged by Prophet SAW. Prophet Saw said he wants to have the most followers on the day of judgement. If you look at Europe, many countries and their indigenous populations are in danger of being unsustainable over the next decades since culturally women are developing full fledged careers first and marrying late and only want 1 kid; many don't get married at all and just "live" withe their boyfriends without any kids. As for a woman's educational level and the number of children she is willing to have, then I will have you know that the U.S Jewish women population is among-st the highest educated and they have the highest rate of children. This is because they see themselves as a race not just as a religion, and the race needs to be preserved through children So this notion that "I am too educated to have many children" exists in insecure educated desi women and not the often more highly educated Jewish Women in places like NY. Additionally, our religion teaches us that each child bring his own Rizq with him, and often times the child is the reason why the parents are getting the Rizq in the first place. So having 1 kid is no problem, wanting only 1 kid is. Oh and the dog thing, well you know once you are educated enough, you have to get a dog and a Starbucks cup as a qualifier.

[sweefs]

Re: Marrying a 33 Year Old Man

Thank you for the serious responses guys :) Well, I consider 30 as a perfect age. I'm just wondering if 33 is too much? I'm not worried about the raised eyebrows I'll get in my khandaan. Just wondering if there would be any understanding issues because of the age gap

well, you aren't going to find out about any understanding issues by posting your concern here. go talk to the guy..

[Tinu]

Re: Marrying a 33 Year Old Man

33 is okie dokie - it is only at four naught forty, that men get naughty. :)

[Muzna]

Re: Marrying a 33 Year Old Man

@homesick

What's wrong with having just one kid or wanting just one kid? There is a huge difference between the two. I was referring to wanting just one kid. As for what's wrong with it from a religious point of view, we as Muslims are supposed to have many kids as encouraged by Prophet SAW. Prophet Saw said he wants to have the most followers on the day of judgement. If you look at Europe, many countries and their indigenous populations are in danger of being unsustainable over the next decades since culturally women are developing full fledged careers first and marrying late and only want 1 kid; many don't get married at all and just "live" withe their boyfriends without any kids. As for a woman's educational level and the number of children she is willing to have, then I will have you know that the U.S Jewish women population is among-st the highest educated and they have the highest rate of children. This is because they see themselves as a race not just as a religion, and the race needs to be preserved through children So this notion that "I am too educated to have many children" exists in insecure educated desi women and not the often more highly educated Jewish Women in places like NY. Additionally, our religion teaches us that each child bring his own Rizq with him, and often times the child is the reason why the parents are getting the Rizq in the first place. So having 1 kid is no problem, wanting only 1 kid is. Oh and the dog thing, well you know once you are educated enough, you have to get a dog and a Starbucks cup as a qualifier.

These Jewish women that you give an example of.......by chance would you have the stats on the household income for them? And the general stats on how the Jewish community takes care of its own?

Then let's compare that to the desi/muslim population......that might lead to a worthwhile discussion.

Granted that each child brings rizq.....let's go talk to some muslim families that have 8, 10 or 12 kids and can't afford food for half of them.

Economics aside.....I'm not sure that anyone here suggested that being educated means they don't want to have more than one child. Where are you reading all this stuff?

It almost feels like you are having a conversation in your own head where you are saying stuff that we can't read and we are saying stuff that we haven't written. Either this or your preconceived opinions have taken over.....

[Paheli00]

Re: Marrying a 33 Year Old Man

@Muzna

Granted that each child brings rizq…let’s go talk to some muslim families that have 8, 10 or 12 kids and can’t afford food for half of them..

Yep. YEARS ago as a teenager, I worked at a Arab grocery store for a year. It amazed me how many people came in with 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 kids and were on food stamps! It amazes me how people feel no shame in popping out kids one after another and expect others to support their offspring.

BTW Muzna, don’t waste your time or energy. I think the statement below by homesick himself sums things up very well.

@homesick

You guys might have some valid points, but you have to understand that I am on a rant right now and will ignore everything everyone else has said.

[WendyDarling]

Re: Marrying a 33 Year Old Man

^ Seriously???

[Muzna]

Re: Marrying a 33 Year Old Man

...

[Paheli00]

Re: Marrying a 33 Year Old Man

@WendyDarling

^ Seriously???

Unfortunately yes. And I don’t mean to imply that only Arabs do this. That was just my personal experience. I don’t doubt that plenty of desis and other races do this too. :hinna: Heck I know a black woman who works at my office…who adopted 2 kids just for the govt. checks/tax breaks! And she doesn’t even treat the kids very well (although not bad enough to qualify as abuse).

If someone wants to multiply in the name of religion (or for any other reason), go right ahead. But it infuriates me when they do this knowing that their income can not provide for their offspring.

[Muzna]

Re: Marrying a 33 Year Old Man

Paheli...I'm not sure but Wendy might have been responding to a post that has been removed.
She can correct me if I'm wrong.

[Paheli00]

^. Ah ok. That makes sense. Thanks!

[homesick]

Re: Marrying a 33 Year Old Man

@Paheli00

Yep. YEARS ago as a teenager, I worked at a Arab grocery store for a year. It amazed me how many people came in with 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 kids and were on food stamps! It amazes me how people feel no shame in popping out kids one after another and expect others to support their offspring.

BTW Muzna, don’t waste your time or energy. I think the statement below by homesick himself sums things up very well.

It doesn’t need to be proven. Generally, Desi women think that being educated means you don’t have many children or do house chores they way a lesser educated woman would. Pheli is a smart sister. I do tend to do that quite often. And please don’t try to look for reason or sanity in my posts. You are looking in the wrong place. And sister Pehli nice way to cover you age “years ago as a teenager” that could 66 years ago or 2 years ago, but I understand.

[njgal]

Re: Marrying a 33 Year Old Man

Desi women think that being educated means you don’t have many children or do house chores they way a lesser educated woman would.

say what? now you are making things up. I can name you 10 desi educated working mothers of multiple children in this thread who can whip up a divine dinner with one hand tied behind their back.

shouldn’t talk about things you don’t know about. :nono:

[queen_24]

Re: Marrying a 33 Year Old Man

@NONIE

u r lucky girl… in my case its opposite… he is stubborn becuz he has his habits that’s r not going to change and i had to change myself 360 to maintain the relationship.. he is mature but he wanted me to be mature , he fights and i keep my mouth shut… its not about the age… i think it is person to person…

maybe I missed explaining. I found my hubby really stubborn and stiff about his decisions… and yeah I “too” had to change myself 360 to maintain the relationship. Of course he is mature and he wanted me to be mature too… So I had to prove myself to him. But believe me Nonie, all these sacrifices, compromises and understandings pay you in the long term. I am able to define him as a good husband because I was able to prove myself a good wife to him first.

[aramis]

Re: Marrying a 33 Year Old Man

Yes unfortunate for the stupid wife that husband is mature and she has to take sarcastic comments for the rest of her life bcz he will always be 10 years older and she qill always be stupid.....why cant these mature men show maturity and compromise a bit themselves????

[WendyDarling]

Re: Marrying a 33 Year Old Man

@Muzna

Paheli…I’m not sure but Wendy might have been responding to a post that has been removed.
She can correct me if I’m wrong.

LOL yes I guess that post was removed!
Paheli, it wasn’t meant for you