Marry into family with a lot of Politics

[anya]

Re: Marry into family with a lot of Politics

@browneyed

Also he always wants 50/50. If he pays one date, I’ll pay the next date. I always thought that guy pays mostly? I suppose I work too so doesn’t matter really. I’m just traditional like that.
He grew up with nothing so I think he’s just very careful with money. He doesn’t go over and beyond for me neither.

@browneyed

yeah that’s what I’m used to. He has paid 70% of the time but he’ll allow me to pay for everything on another time. He’s hasn’t got that “You are a woman, I want to look after you” attitude. But I think he will once I’m his wife though.

@browneyed

Thank you for the replies.
Sorry, let me rephrase. It is not 50/50. It’s is more 80/70 him and 20/30 me. Most of my friends other halfs pay for most of them so I assumed he’d be the same (I haven’t been in a relationship before). Also at the beginning, I did all the driving as he had no car. **He’s got one now but hasn’t offered to drive me anywhere yet. So I never felt he had gone out of his way for me, other than pay for my dinner.
**
He did buy me Rose’s for my birthday though. The thing is, I’m a romantic, I like doing things and buying little things. He isn’t like that so I don’t do this for him, which is quite sad really but I don’t know how important that is? I know he’d look after me if I was poorly etc.

He wants me to work and wants me to work after kids. But that’s upto me he said. Hes supports my career.

He wants to live away from in laws for the time being but there could be a time where they do end up living with us.

He is giving you hints about the future life but you are fantasizing it according to your imagination. If he wants you to work how is he leaving it up to you? There are a lot of vague aspects here which you better clarify.

Base you future impression on how he is or things are at this moment (fact based) rather than on what you imagine they would be.

If he is someone who listens more to outsiders than family, then you will be in trouble regarding family politics.