Re: married people ONLY please
Most of the time we are pretty comfortable talking to each other about issues in our family but sometimes he does feel more comfortable taking a phone call from his family in private if it's an issue that doesn't concern us so much but more towards his relatives or family member. I don't push for him to tell me details on such issues.
Re: married people ONLY please
so this is what you both do in your spare time. Play hide and seek 
Re: married people ONLY please
he dont tell me anything...Never ..ever since we have been married
.. and now i dont do it either
Re: married people ONLY please
Why would you not want to share with your spouse, unless of course you are in a bad relationship.
you must not be married. sharing everything does not always equal a good relationship. think possessive boyfriends who demand they know every password the girl has for every account...ranging from facbook to her bank account. there's a balance that must be maintained and thats what i was talking about. when is it too much? it could be too much hiding AND too much sharing. both are bad.
anyways, thanks for commenting.
Re: married people ONLY please
Why would you not want to share with your spouse, unless of course you are in a bad relationship.
Uhhh since when does not sharing everything = bad relationship?
Re: married people ONLY please
you got the whole math wrong
she meant --- if you are in a bad relationship => you probably wont be sharing everything
=> means 'implies'
Uhhh since when does not sharing everything = bad relationship?
Re: married people ONLY please
^Thank you...
Uhhh since when does not sharing everything = bad relationship?
No its not, but my question is if a relationship is all fine and dandy, why there will be a NEED to hide anything??
And Pakigirl I am very happily married and that also for a long time...There is a difference between spouse and boyfriend and if you have a good relationship going then there won't be a reason to hide anything...
Re: married people ONLY please
so how much of his/her family's personal problems does your spouse share with you? Are there topics that you kinda know exist in the other person's family but you don't discuss for fear of offending your husband/wife or its just too uncomfortable? Are there topics that are outright hidden from you to the point that if husband/wife is talking to mom/dad/sister/brother he/she actually walks out of the room you are in or just calls them from outside the home?
if this exists...do you think its fair? have you done anything abt it?
the reason i say married ppl only is because i want to know how it IS in reality, not how it SHOULD be or how you think it will be when you get married. i'm looking for real experiences. ofcourse if you are unmarreid but have seen this in you parents where your dad doesn't share with mom, things that he does share with your grandmother, feel free to weigh in.
thanks.
My wife doesn't tell me many of the problems in her family and i don't ask her nor do i try to indulge in their family matters. For me, i usually tell her bcoz i am "pait ka halka", but at times when i really feel like not sharing with her, i don't tell her. During initial days of our marriage this made my wife ucomfortable and she asked me why i am not telling her and i would say, bcoz it doesn't concern you and you don't have to tell me every issue in your family.
Re: married people ONLY please
We don't intentionally hide or share anything. We deal with situations as they come. If there is a need to share it, ok, otherwise we don't. If sharing anything can help anyone in anyway, GOOD! otherwise we don't waste time on things that doesn't concern us or is non of our business.
Personally, my wife is more curious than me, and knows about me and my family almost everything she wants to know, except for people's past sins, which I don't tell unless I need to warn her against anyone whom she interacts with OR if I am sure that my relative wouldn't mind my wife's help/advice in that particular problem that relative is facing.
She has access to everything that is related to me. My passwords, history of my calls, emails,....etc of all my numbers and accounts. It is because Alhamdulillah I have nothing that I am guilty of and need to hide from her (in terms of her rights over me). I don't initiate to tell her anything about me or my family unless she is interested to know it.
I am mostly not curious about her family matters, email accounts and call history. Even at times when she wants to tell me, I try to change the topic if the direction of discussion is going towards gheebah (backbiting), unless I feel that I might be able to be of any help in anyway.
Re: married people ONLY please
she doenst have to tell you everything because YOU are not the one who lives with/in her family, she is the one who lives IN your family .. so in that case hiding from her or walking out of the room or house and making private calls or simply changing the topic with Your family members as soon as she walks into the room is in My opionion is NOT fair....and its disgrace and an insult to her .. why would you deliberately hide something from someone who lives in the house and is your Partner?. ....
..... think about in terms of you being 'ghar jamai' and hers and her her family attitude towards you.....how would you feel??.
OP... there is no straight answer to your question.....it depends on many things...
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