Just wondering whether any of you know of people who are/were married whilst studying at university? How war it? Was it harder to deal with everything??
What if you got married to someone from abroad and had a long distance relationship for a couple of years before the guy/girl could come over, was it easier in that type of situation to go to university and get an education without too many things stressing you out?
Sorry, just curious!!!
Re: Married people at university??????
been there done that.. married before I finished my bachelors.. went on to complete masters!
we were in long distance and still getting to each other.. it was hard and stressful but I am glad we had those 1.5 years to figure out each other without being in each other's face all the time.
Re: Married people at university??????
been there done that.. married before I finished my bachelors.. went on to complete masters!
we were in long distance and still getting to each other.. it was hard and stressful but I am glad we had those 1.5 years to figure out each other without being in each other's face all the time.
Yhh see that's one of the benefits since you would be married and getting to know each other a lot better whilst still getting your education. Plus you wouldn't have to deal with the stress of living with them until after you have really gotten to know them.
Re: Married people at university??????
OP, what are your fiance's thoughts on you going to uni, working etc? And what do the future inlaws think? You should ask your parents and if they don't know/haven't asked you should press the issue further..
Some girls can do it but a lot seem to struggle.. If you're marrying into a traditional family think whether you'll need to move in with inlaws (some elders can get funny about girls doing their own thing at the expense of 'family time' or cooking and housework)..
If it's an arranged marriage and you're so young there's a fair chance that your education and/or independence isn't a priority to them.. I'm speaking very generally tho and like GeminitheGreat obviously there are girls who can and have done it..
Re: Married people at university??????
Practically half of my class is married. Some of them have kids too.
But then...I'm talking about grad school.
It's less common in undergrad.
Re: Married people at university??????
Yhh see that's one of the benefits since you would be married and getting to know each other a lot better whilst still getting your education. Plus you wouldn't have to deal with the stress of living with them until after you have really gotten to know them.
if we were living together, our marriage probably wont have survived. :D (we are married for almost 9 years now mashaAllah)
first two years are stressful no matter how you do it... there is misunderstanding, miscommunication, in laws, throw in the college and baby in mix.. not a great combo but one of my friends actually went to pharmacy school after getting married, living with in laws but no kids.. it was a struggle for her but she had a very supportive husband and in laws who made it all work out for her.
In our case, my mom was very clear about me continuing my education after getting nikahfied, we didnt do any visa processing while I was in university and I moved back to Pakistan after getting my degree... this was all discussed before I signed the nikah nama :D
Re: Married people at university??????
Been there, done that.
I got engaged early hence also married early at the age of 19. I live in EU so at that time I had just finished off what you probably would call High School in the USA. Afterwards I've completed an M.D
It was hard at some points. I had my first born at the end of my undergrad University year (july) and I was back in for the new classes in september. The only reason I was able to do this without having to postpone my semester was due to the help from my MIL, who came all the way from UK, and mother provided until he turned 1.
You need three things, a supportive husband (this was not an issue in my case as he also was young and a UNI student back then) a very good discipline and if you plan on having kids while being in university you probably will need some help from supportive parents and parent-inlaws.
Re: Married people at university??????
I'm still finishing up my bachelors while I'm already married. There's nothing wrong with it unless you've got too much responsibility. If there's tons of housework, and babies, and chaos you'll never be able to study properly so you might as well drop all your classes. But since you said there's a long distance between the married couple, it should work out perfectly fine. Even after marriage, if perhaps your MIL is willing to help through the household then you should be able to carry your studies further without any problems.
Re: Married people at university??????
I got married right before I started my last year in college/uni and we were in a long distance relationship. It was a little rough leaving him to come back to college life honestly and since it was my last year I just wanted to focus on my classes instead of hanging out a lot. I did go through a depressed time period, but got over. There was another girl on campus who was married and dorming even though her husband didnt live that far away. I guess looking at her gave me some courage that someone else was sort of in the same boat.
It's not impossible to do. If both you and your husband agree on this then anything is possible.
been there done that.. married before I finished my bachelors.. went on to complete masters!
we were in long distance and still getting to each other.. it was hard and stressful but I am glad we had those 1.5 years to figure out each other without being in each other's face all the time.
Same thing with me. Totally agree on the long distance thing. & honestly it really depends on your spouse & your marriage. If they can give you peace of mind and a little space its not so hard.