Salam all, it’s been a while that i didn’t post anything … Coz i was busy … yeah i got married 2 months back…we all are happy, But one day my mom said that i have got changed … i felt not good you know.. she said that i don’t talk to them much like b4. But i think i m now more careful becoz of my this relationship, i try to do more care as much as i can. i really love my parents, I don’t want them to feel like that. i m feeling so lonely…becoz my wife still living in pakistan.. i only could spend 40 days with my wife becoz of vactions. I want her to be here but when i think about my sibilings then i feel that it would be selfishness you know. becoz i m the oldest son of my parents… i still have alots of things to do. I just want to see my parents happy.has that happend with you couples… ??? How i can show my sincere feelings ???
Re: Married only
What did you mean when you think about your siblings and the selfishness part???
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if i bring my wife here, I wouldn't be able to save anything....if i wouldn't save anything then how i can support them financially...
Re: Married only
Then why the heck did you get married if she has to live in pak? You are not being selfish to your sibblings but to the woman you have married.
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I agree. Why did you get married if you werent ready to support a wife? Immature!!
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The matter is not bringing my wife here ... actually i was wondering that why do my mom think that my i have got changed after marrige, While i didn't do anything like that
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Don t think too much ......
Re: Married only
you are suffering from PMS - Premature Marriage Syndrome ... just relax
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Family just feel that their son is getting away as you try to fit in new person in your life, it does take some attention from others time. they need to be bit understanding and you should.
but you get married and i beleive you should bring your wife with you, there is nothing selfish about it. but dont over stretch though, be prepared to get new job or jobs and take your time.
I was in kind of same situation apart from the finance thing. I was well prepared and got myself house and everthing well before I got married and then brought my wife after visa processing.
family does think initially about such things, but it will be fine. dont over react and tell them its not the case. they are just feeling like this. they will understand and get it.
good luck
Re: Married only
Thx Amour, i m having a hard time at the moment... But i hope i will be with my wife soon......
i would like to say thx all over again.
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hey andy … 
i guess im kinda in the same situation at the moment .. the difference is just that my husband is also living in pakistan and im here in Germany , we havent seen each other for abt 8 months now and i could spend only 7 days with him .. 
… and i still have to wait maybe even till MAy or April to see him again .. …
And abt this " u have changed thing " .. i can only say, even my husband told me abt that , that his sisters are saying that to him, that u have changed and u are not that kind of person u used to be … i can only say, that this is just normal, afterall geeting married is such a huge change in just every way of life u know, jus dont worry abt that , maybe its just their illusion … Just make sure u try to give them as much time as u used to give them before getting married and all that. Try to spend time with them, make sure You also TELL them that its not the way they think, tell them u love them. Dont just think, ya i do love them, why are they saying things like that to me. Talk to them, let them feel them that u havent changed !
I wish you all the best !
Re: Married only
Hey Honey Thank you for shairing the same story....
This may help the people, Who don't believe .
Wish you the Same
Re: Married only
andy, I'm sorry to say it but you're clearly not ready for marriage. The first step is to cut the cord and be a man. This is what I don't understand about so MANY Pakistani men, they really want to get married and have a wife, but they don't know the first thing about being a man and being responsible and still crying about mummy and daddy. Dude, I know this sounds harsh, but stop your whining, be a man, and do the right thing by your wife.
Re: Married only
it is true that parents, ideally, should feel content with the successes in the life of their children. yet, it is also a fact that happiness of everyone is not possible.
parents and siblings are previous relations, from before so they do come first and when a spouse comes in, your birth order has a lot to do with it.
keeping peace and quiet is much important, than dangling between newer relationship with the spouse and later on a child & one's original blood relations.
unfortunately, from what happens, it can be seen, that constant interference and lopsided unfair burden of responsibility on one child takes a toll on her/his own personal well being.
that is a vicious cycle.
the distribution of all responsibilities - emotionally, financially & otherwise,
must transition to the rest of the children in the house, if there are any, so that the parents do not feel alone. but, if the parents and siblings are uncaring, selfish and mean, then sadly, even a good hearted eldest daughter or son will feel embittered and ward off any connection with them because she/he has had it with them.
one solution is to talk it over, patiently.
another is to separate your self from them, altogether, without being loud or in a rift with them.
being a personally responsible person, this disjoining all of yourself might hurt you, even still, but for the sake of your new relationship and your own sanity to deal with it all, you must get a break.
be sincere to your spouse and ask her as well to not mind or totally not interact with your family, until they are decent enough to be interacted with.
consider supporting financially within reason, but after that, stay away from them, for some time. let them contact you and see if they have realized that they are hurting you mentally or emotionally. make them 'see'
by restating that they ought not to interfere in your married life and rather than be annoying, they are welcome to have a happy family get together time with you, but they MUST avoid and never engage in fault finding or insensitive commenting of yourself, your spouse or your married life.
do not allow for a gap in between their mischief and your expression of hurt. right then and there, show them that they have caused you harm.
parents and siblings ought to realize that and the only way one can do so, is by acting intelligently.
good luck!