Whats wrong in cheating? I would say GO AHEAD to my man
i guess i’ll take that asa compliment:confused:
^ofcourse, you seem like a strong woman/girl, that doormat like behaviour just doesn't fit yer profile.
Sherni: was that a joke?
KAKA-ATOM-BUM, armughal: Yeah, I guess the best thing to do is leave the person for good.
TNC: damn you have matured since ..ermmm yesterday :p But don't you think the cheating part would always haunt you and would affect the relationship?
suroor:so you would cheat on him and continue with the marriage?
I'm not married, but i'm answering anyway. :p
Chances are, I would leave. I wouldn't cheat on him or do something equally as stupid. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I did cheat, no matter what the reason (i.e. revenge). It's just wrong.
I would rather walk away than be with someone who I couldn't trust. Once somebody cheats and you find out about it, the trust and faith in the relationship is damaged, if not completely destroyed. I don't want to be questioning his love for me, why he's with me after cheating and a thousand other questions that would be constantly in my mind, which is exactly what would happen if I remained with him. Better to walk away with my sanity than live with permanent paranoia.
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Chandbeti: *
suroor:so you would cheat on him and continue with the marriage?
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seriously, i wud never live with that person again. its a mental torture and there is no way i am wasting my time living with that. and i am not a very forgiving person so saying sorry or any other lame excuse wudnt work either. whats done is done. one shud think about their actions and its consequences before acting on it.
chanda 
I dont know if that was a joke [sorry i was in a wierd mood]. If I get married…Well i dont mind if he likes another kuri; the only thing i expect from him, is that he shud tell me, before he goes for her, I would never ever stop him. He can do anything he wants to, i jus want him to tell me.
sounds wrong 
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Chandbeti: *
^ofcourse, you seem like a strong woman/girl, that doormat like behaviour just doesn't fit yer profile.
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no ur misunderstanding me yaar. i dunno about being strong and all that, and it's not about being a doormat or ne thing either. it's just that, from what i've heard about "love"(if there is such a thing in the world) its that it's supposed to be selfless, right? I mean u technically would just want ur spouse to be happy if u love em, even if that means getting hurt ur self. the only two people that i know i love in this world are my parents(at least for now) and I would definetly get hurt for their sake. I mean i guess if they wanted to kick me out and get another girl to be their daughter cuz it made them more happy, then I'd just have to walk out as they wish. cuz i just cant be somewhere im not wanted. and plus humans make mistakes, thats why we r humans, so i think another chance is a must. we r n ot angels, we r bound to make mistakes. the most important thing for someone like me, is to make sure my spouse is happy, and that i have left out nothing. i don't care if he can't give it, but i better be able to. its not an ego thing, its just u don't ever wanna have to be the lower one once u've given ur self away to someone like that. and after u've let down all ur guards, and u give ur self to someone selflessly, and then they say they dont find u good enough, and that they've found someone better then u, it sucks. bc u gave it away, and now ur just bed trash. so i d just let him be happy with the new girl, or give him another chance, if hes truly sorry. but like i said if i have kids, then never. my life will be my kids after that, and i will have to either stay for their sake, or leave for their sake. have ijust confused u more? or do u kinda understand now? uffffffffff that was lengthy, sorry.
Most people, initially, will be too shocked to actually do anything. I guess I will be the same.
Afterwards, one of us has to pack the bags - depending on who owns the house!
I think most of us who aren't married yet find it so easy to claim that we would just up and leave. It's not as easy as that. There are so many things that come into play when you marry a person, it's not just you and him/her, it's two families and then your history together. True the trust will be lost but I have seen trust restored in relationships, we all make mistakes, not to say that adultery is acceptable but shyte does happen. On average I think women are more forgiving than men. Having said that, I can't decide what my reaction would be because I haven't been in such a situation.. I have on many occasions remarked that I would have left the guy upon hearing about other couples and their troubles. But throw in a couple of kids in that scenario and it's easier said than done. Who knows you might end up happier forgiving than living with the constant anguish of having been betrayed.
p.s. Just playing devil's advocate.
Tuba hai Madhanee…sometimes you are too much. LoLzZzz…
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by hayaa: *
I think most of us who aren't married yet find it so easy to claim that we would just up and leave. It's not as easy as that. There are so many things that come into play when you marry a person, it's not just you and him/her, it's two families and then your history together. True the trust will be lost but I have seen trust restored in relationships, we all make mistakes, not to say that adultery is acceptable but shyte does happen. On average I think women are more forgiving than men. Having said that, I can't decide what my reaction would be because I haven't been in such a situation.. I have on many occasions remarked that I would have left the guy upon hearing about other couples and their troubles. But throw in a couple of kids in that scenario and it's easier said than done. Who knows you might end up happier forgiving than living with the constant anguish of having been betrayed.
p.s. Just playing devil's advocate.
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true, but i think it would be easy to leave him even if u have kids, if u have full support of ur parents. to hell with what other people think, its ur life wud u rather live with depression or just leave everything behind and all start all over with or without kids. and i think kids will be better off without a father or mother like that.
I dont even think u need ur parents support or anyeone elses..its ur life and ur hapiness. Plus you can raise the kids n once they are old enough, they can decide who they want to be with.
Tell a five yr old that she can't live with both mommy and daddy because they can't see past each other's mistakes. And let me define mistake here, a mistake is made once and you are allowed to repent but forgiveness is not meant for repeat offenders. Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice...shame on me!
I believe in forgiveness, I think forgiving brings people closer... this is why we are human because we aren't perfect and are gulity of deadly sins.
Having said all this, I am starting to wonder why I am arguing in favour of someone commiting adultery... I dont know why. I just think, a person should be given at least one chance if not more. But you shouldn't forgive just for the sake of forgiving, it's if you really want to save your marriage and for that you need both partners to commit whole heartedly. In an ideal world, it would never come to that, one would think marriage was the ultimate commitment.. not these days I suppose.
well if a mistake is lets say just a date with someone ok fine thats forgiveable but sex with another woman? u dont just automatically do it with someone..errrrmmm alot goes into it :-s its not like in the movies one secodn there are just standing there, the other in bed..the person has all that time to think about wat they are doing and if they cant then too bad I cant either..plus hayaa do u think ur hubby would ever forgive u if u made such a mistake?
LOL. Maybe that’s why I have been trying to make a case for the guilty party. 
eek. Lets hope it never comes to that. We often wonder what ‘we’ would do if something happened to us, hardly do we ever think, what would be done to me if “I” did something wrong? I think my argument goes both ways, I would like to be given a second chance, I am but human. And there are aaah so many good looking men out there. 
hehe that explains it...I think they are all ewwwwyyy except for one :p I guess I expect the same back :-/
Worried abt cheating? Let 21st century science help you.
Scientists Find Gene Cure for Cheating Lover Voles
Thu Jun 17,10:19 AM ET
LONDON (Reuters) - What would you give for a simple injection that would stop your lover from cheating? Well, at least it works for meadow voles.
A single gene inserted into the brain can change promiscuous male rodents into faithful, monogamous partners, scientists said Wednesday.
It may not be quite that simple to rein in human philanderers – many genes as well as other factors are probably involved in relationships among people.
But researchers at the Yerkes National Primate Research Center of Emory University and Atlanta’s Center for Behavioral Neuroscience (CBN) in the United States said their rodent results could help to explain the neurobiology of romantic love.
“Our study … provides evidence in a comparatively simple animal model, that changes in the activity of a single gene profoundly can change a fundamental social behavior of animals within a species,” said Larry Young a researcher at the university.
He and his colleagues, who reported their research in the science journal Nature, used a harmless virus to transfer the gene for a key hormone involved in sexual behavior from monogamous prairie voles into the brains of their randy relatives, the meadow voles.
After the gene transfer, the previously promiscuous meadow voles had less of a roving eye and showed a distinct preference for their current partners.
Earlier research had shown that prairie voles, which form life-long partnerships, had higher levels of receptors for the hormone vasopressin in an area of the brain called the ventral pallidum, than meadow voles.
Introducing the gene increased the natural levels of the receptor and enhanced the meadow voles’ ability to form pair bonds.
Previous studies have also suggested that the receptors may play a role in disorders such as autism, and that brain pathways involved in romantic relationships also play a part in drug addiction.
“It is intriguing,” said Young, “to consider that individual differences in vasopressin receptors in humans might play a role in how differently people form relationships.”
I am married to stunningly beautiful desi woman, alhamdulillah. She has been such a great cook, wonderful mother to our kids and a good wife to me that if she cheats on me, I will forgive her. I don't want kids (grown up that they are) to be deprived of their mother. A woman is not just a wife, she is also a mother.
It is real weird, but we have discussed this subject and I told her that if she wanted to cheat on me she has to do it with one of the two or three of my best friends. I know they will treat her well. She thinks I am a control freak. She says if she is going to have an affair then she will bloody well choose the guy.
sigh this is wat the world has come down to..injecting your husbands to keep em from cheating