Married and then what?

No, I am not married or looking to get hitched just yet, but my question is more about these threads about weddings, engagements, and rishtas. Everyone is devoting so much time to these things but then what? You get married and its all over.

Being a single who does not date, yet is having the time of his life, this is all pretty foreign to me. i mean these days, I am out partying with friends, fly out for the weekends, make social plans as I go along, and don’t really have many limitations. Married couples (most not all) seem dull and boring like going out to a restaurant once a week is big deal :D, or rolling with other similarly boring couples and talking about mortgages over chai all sounds a bit dull.

So are there any really active married couples? Is there any hope :wink:

Re: Married and then what?

of course theres hope! who says you cant go to parties and fly out for the weekends WITH your spouse? infact, doing all of the ''fun'' things is even more enjoyable when you have someone special to do them with. theres always someone there to talk to, to discuss things with.. etc. you'll never feel lonely or alone or have to depend on your ''friends'' for companionship cuz you know your spouse is always there by your side.

There are absolutely active married couples out there who enjoy all the world has to offer as a team---going out, traveling, etc.

But even the basic married life is beautiful and very non-boring if you're with the right person. Friends are great, but there's a world of difference between hanging out with your buddies and sharing simple pleasures with your soulmate.

It is a different sort of life, however, and people often find they feel a divide between them and their old friends when one gets married and the other is still single. Most people at some point just start to feel like they're ready for the married life, and they crave the intense partnership of building a new life and new family with another person. When you start feeling that way, you'll know you're ready to move on from the singles scene to being a married person.


asking about a married couple's sexual activity I think is crude. On top of that (no pun intended) your winking makes this all the more awkard.

:rotfl:

Re: Married and then what?

most young married couples r active. only after yrs in marriage u drink chai with friends n talk abt mortgages only. talking abt mortgage is good even when u r single coz instead of partying around n wasting life one should think of having his own home. these days even mature couples don't stay home after work whole time. its all upto u as individual that how much adventurous and out-going u n ur partner are? bachelor life has its own charms n married life has its.

Re: Married and then what?

Some people choose to be dull, other not so much! As long as you find that perfect person, you'll be fine!

Re: Married and then what?

good for you that you not only you can afford luxuries of life but also know the secret how to enjoy em.

but not everyone is like you. i dont know about ur family or ur education background, but many in desi culture dont have the luxury to live their life of their own. Our desi culture is structured quite differently. we prefer to eat at home than takeouts, cuz we dont like to spend.

Re: Married and then what?

There is some hope. Look for someone with similar interests.

Keep in mind though...after marriage (most likely after kids) you may not want to go out as much not because you are a dull and boring person but because the demands of married/family/career life will tire you out. You may prefer relaxing at home with your significant other....that can be a good thing at times.

Re: Married and then what?

It's not about being dull.....
be sure to find someone who likes the same things as u...whatever those are.....

and as much as it pains you to hear this, sometimes joy and happiness lies in the littlest things...

Re: Married and then what?

bhai, take me with you n we will have a nice convo.

Re: Married and then what?

So someone please explain this to me: how does a single “non-dating” person enjoy life to the max? Is that not an oxymoron :confused:

Now, this does not mean that single people don’t have a life but I think all this BS about staying single equating bestest life ever needs to go.

Re: Married and then what?

I do not understand how you consider your life halal and so wonderfully amazing. Everytime you post, its all about how much fun you're having and what you've been doing lately and you also call yourself the pk-one didnt you once?

If any of the above was really true...you wouldnt feel the need or have the time to go out of your way to post a thread on the topic. Secure people dont need public approval.

Next, the idea that everyone married is dull is wrong. They're priorities have changed and what is important to you is simply no longer important to them...does that make sense? So, sipping orange juice while all of your friends have beer seems incredibly dull to them...they would rather have an intimate moment with their spouse while you satisfy yourself with some really really cold orange juice.

Ya know what Im sayin PK-ONE?

Re: Married and then what?

Exactly what i was thinking ^^ If this dude was having so much fun why even need to post a thread on it.

Re: Married and then what?

i think he thinks abt marriage but hav fears that all his fun n partying will turn into a dull life of 9-5 once he gets chained.

hitting some nerves I see?

Apparently you equate fun with dating or messing around with the opposite sex to enjoy life. Well life is more than that: Learning new skills, traveling, partying it up with friends, and being care free about how you spend your free time. If I want to work 16 hours a day for a week and then take off the next week to go chill in Ibiza, I can. If I decide to have a quiet Friday evening with the inner circle of friends I can. I own my place and my parents are like my friends, my passport has more stamps than the average person, so yes life is good.

But like others said, maybe its an issue about finding the right girl, who would not be boring and actually keep up with the lifestyle. Far too many married people are stuck in routines, limitation and general lameness. I mean if you’re getting married in your 20s and not having kids right away, there is absolutely no reason to completely change yourself simply because you have a significant other. Enjoy things, be adventurous, mix it up.

Hold up. I come here once in a while during some downtimes at work and you equate that with seeking approval? I don't even know you people so pile on the hate :)

I never stated that married life was dull for all, it's the case for many. Staying young and active should not be limited by how old you actually might be. There should be no reason for one to stop pursuing their interests.

As for the comment on hanging out with friends, it's called socializing and in the case of work related social situations, it works wonders. You don't even know how many times I was promoted over the poor fellow who "wanted to go home and have intimate moments with his spouse." hey those are his choices right? So why complain about them later.

Actually this is pretty spot on. I have nothing against marriage, but don't believe in how many people change by it. I mean if you hit 30s and have kids, things will change but that's part of life.

In all views there is a thread by a fellow member who is looking to backpack through Europe with his wife, now that's a zinda dil couple. What do many Pakistani couples do? Some lame honeymoon, followed by many trips to Pakistan as the years go by. I would rather go on archeology dig in Ashkelon or do something that will be an adventure rather than same old stuff. Even if its going to Pakistan, how about going mountain climbing or learning Chitrali language by staying in the area for awhile?

And he comes back with more of the same!

Owning your own place, stamping your passport and posting on GS about your halal randezvous dont make your life fun or exciting. In actuality, it seems as if you're tired of your mundane passport-stamping marathon. So now you're looking at marriage...but you also seem to think you're really really cool. However, you dont want some random girl to come and take away your cool-factor.

When you're in a happy marriage, your focus shifts from useless things to things you want with your partner. All of a sudden, his and her towels start to look better then your passport - which only symbolizes all the things you did to fill your empty life. The friends you used to surround yourself with no longer seem as exciting as they once were...in fact you start to almost despise the partying routine because it now looks so lame - I have yet to understand the attraction in clubs that reek of smoke, people puking alcohol, picking up random women/men, dancing to crappy music, surrounded by unattractive people who cant get a date normally most of which will still be there 10 years from now, etc. Traveling on a moment's notice to Ibiza doesnt hold as much value to my BIL as spending that moment with his daughter...the little girl he gets to see only 3 hours a day. Things change when you meet the right person but until that happens...owning your own place, Ibiza and the passport will seem exciting to you.

You dont know what you're missing until you have experienced it.

Re: Married and then what?

pak-one, for goodness sakes, no sane married couple is goign to tell you about what they do for fun and why should they? what is routine based for you, might just be a priority, a responsibility for someone else.

Married people dont become boring and unfun, they just get a little busy with their lives together. They get busy trying to make a good future. So if they seem a lil boring or dull to you... then it's not their fault.

ur post is lame