why cant pathans marry punjabis and sindhis cant marry balotchis and vice versa?
why arr we so divided and narrow minded as Pakistanis.
learning a new language, adopting (reasonable manners and values) from another ethnicity, is not aweful.
is it fear or incompatibility that is just in the heads or w h a t??
Re: marriages between provinces
Simple: We are ignorant of Islam and therefore do not give much attention to our everyday lives (i.e. whether we are going halaal in our everyday lives or doing something which is haraam).
I may be wrong, but if I am not, I think sometimes adding to what I've said above, it is also fear of society around a person. Like for example a person from different place might like another person (from different place) for his son/daughter but steps back thinking "Oh, what will my family/relatives/society say?" <<Though I don't believe in this and see it as a weakness within a person. If something is right, do it. You don't need every1's permission to do something right. And besides, Prophet (s.a.w) has said that do not look for anything in your partner but his/her Islam. But it's sad that we take our family/society's words above the words of our Prophet (s.a.w) who should be more dear to us than anything.
Re: marriages between provinces
Intermarriage is very common in Pakistan. My family is Pashtun and we have married into many different ethnicities. My mother is half Punjabi, and her Punjabi family has married into Urdu-speaking people, Mirpuris, Pashtuns and Chitralis. We also have Biharis, Balochis, Tajiks, Hyderabadis, Sindhis and UPites in our family. I think that certain ethnicities prefer to marry some ethnicities over others. For example, Most Urdu-speaking people that we know generally marry into Punjabis and Pashtuns rather marry into Afghans, Balochis or Northern Punjabis than Urdu-speaking people. I think if you visit cities like Lahore and Karachi, you will see that alot of people come from mixed backgrounds.
Re: marriages between provinces
Most intermarriages in my family are Pashtun and Hindko and the result is bilingual families but we also have plenty of Punjabi, Mirpuri and some Urdu speaking family members.
I think intermarriages can increase once we get rid of the jagirdar nizam (created by the British) in Pakistan so that interprovincial migration and interethnic interaction becomes possible.
It’s really quite nice, nothing wrong with them since we’re all Muslims and that’s what matters so I say bring on the intermarriages. 
Re: marriages between provinces
^ What is your ethnicity and where does your family hail from?
Re: marriages between provinces
I'm Khilji (Ghilzai) and my mom's side is Mashwani, we're Pashtun-Hindko hybrids and I'm from just east of the abasin. What about you bro?
Re: marriages between provinces
No limits in marrying with other provinces, my cousin Punjabi has married from Chitral,,,,, believe me for years she doesnt go to chitral and her parents alos dont bother. we have to send her by force (just to keep ourselves clear, that we are bounding her to stay with us) but as far as Punjabans ( or any other locals, same province) are concerned, at least once in a month have to visit Maika,,,,, if any month visit miss, the Lady Mom fells ill and instead of week they keep the daughter for 2. And it is not to give some rest to the daughter, actually she works more there.
I am ready to marry with Pathan, Balochi, Punjabi, kashmiri or Sindhi (preferbly Sindhi), N/P at all
Re: marriages between provinces
I've always wondered about this because this is exactly how my family is. Everytime I ask y, the only answer is because other ethnicities do not share our morals/principles. But i'm still confused because at the end of the day we're all pakistani's and we're all muslims.
Re: marriages between provinces
Sweetpip:
I think it's less about morals/principles and more about ethnic pride and the preservation of that. I personally prefer to marry Pashtuns just because I am proud to be one and I want to keep my culture alive. If I were to marry outside of my ethnicity maybe it would be a Kashmiri, Balochi, Hindko or some other ethnicity in close proximity with Pashtuns. I do not think I will marry a Sindhi, Urdu-speaking person or any southerners. That does not mean that I am opposed to it; its just not something that I expect.
Re: marriages between provinces
same is true for ****e and sunni resentment against marrying among each other, why?
Re: marriages between provinces
I kind of agree with you bro, it's not a question of looking down on anyone or superiority complex but we don't exactly want to loose our language and all start speaking Urdu do we? Because that's what's going to happen when parents speak different languages because Urdu which is supported by the goverment, media and schools will become langue de communication in the household.
I think a way round it would be the woman should learn the language of her husband and assimilate into his nation, because in our culture she goes and lives with her in-laws and because in our culture a childs identity is same as his fathers even though he shares his mom's genes and blood and may even love and respect her more, he doesn't inherit her identity, he inherits her genes. Just like you belong to the Niazi tribe and I to the Khilji. When I marry a Brazilian, Rican or Mexican chick (after converting her of course) and take her back to my village she can refer to her self as that and speak Spanish when she's visiting her family but my kids are going to be Pashtun, I know men in my village who married Chinese women and then settled backhome, their kids look proper chinky but they're pure Pashtuns in their ways and can't speak a word of English or Chinese, I also know this other uncle who married some blonde chick and she turned proper conservative and they went back home, their kids are pure blonde hair and blue eyed FOBs.
Wouldn't it be nice if all Pashtun regions of Pakistan were merged into a state within Pakistan? Nobody would have any identity issues. I like and respect other cultures, especially neighbouring cultures like Persian, Urdu and Punjabi but they're not something that I'd call my own because they're not.
No race is lowly and lineage doesn't determine national identity, only the culture we practice does, new tribes can be initiated into a nation through assimilation, that would be good for non-Pashtun nations living amongst majoirty Pashtuns when we get our state, of course that's only if they want to assimilate (as you can see I'm a fan of Atatürk's ideas minus the mindless secularism).
Re: marriages between provinces
chicken mara,
ur ideas are abhorbale and lack decent reasoning. u think that only the better half should extend all her unsurpassed generosity.
btw Pashto people are not as exclusive as u think and are portraying them to be.
make no mistake.
that is ur fallacy.
pakaire lala razi!
I think a way round it would be the woman should learn the language of her husband and assimilate into his nation, because in our culture she goes and lives with her in-laws and because in our culture a childs identity is same as his fathers even though he shares his mom's genes and blood and may even love and respect her more, he doesn't inherit her identity, he inherits her genes. Just like you belong to the Niazi tribe and I to the Khilji. When I marry a Brazilian, Rican or Mexican chick (after converting her of course) and take her back to my village she can refer to her self as that and speak Spanish when she's visiting her family but my kids are going to be Pashtun, I know men in my village who married Chinese women and then settled backhome, their kids look proper chinky but they're pure Pashtuns in their ways and can't speak a word of English or Chinese, I also know this other uncle who married some blonde chick and she turned proper conservative and they went back home, their kids are pure blonde hair and blue eyed FOBs.
Wouldn't be nice if all Pashtun regions of Pakistan were merged into a state within Pakistan? Nobody would have any identity issues. I like and respect other cultures, especially neighbouring cultures like Persian, Urdu and Punjabi but they're not something that I'd call my own because they're not.
No race is lowly and lineage doesn't determine national identity, only the culture we practice does, new tribes can be initiated into a nation through assimilation, that would be good for non-Pashtun nations living amongst majoirty Pashtuns when we get our state, of course that's only if they want to assimilate (as you can see I'm a fan of Atatürk's ideas minus the mindless secularism).
Re: marriages between provinces
Dushwari:
It has nothing to do with being exclusive everyone yearns to preserve their heritage. I understand Smurf's reasoning and do not feel that there is anything wrong with it. Howvwer, I do feel that both the mother and father have to play the role in passing on cultural identity. In most interacial marriages there is always a dominant ethnicity.
Smurf:
I like the idea of having our own nation aswell. Unfortunetly, it does not look like that will happen anytime soon. For now all we can hope for is that native languages be granted official status and that they be taught in schools. We also need more autonomy for our provinces. The frontier makes a great contribution to Pakistan but unless it and the rest of the provinces are given some more power and cultural freedom, we are at a loss.
Re: marriages between provinces
be proud of an identity is not bad ... even punjabi feel superior
Re: marriages between provinces
:k:
That’s how they have it in India and I think that’s the way to be. My South Indian friends speak English and their mother tongues Tamil, Kannada, Malayalam, Kodagu etc. but not a word of Hindi (well maybe just a word) because it’s not enforced on them like Urdu is in Pakistan. The only thing I disagree with is Hindi is consdiered the sole constitutional language which suggests that it is superior or more “Indian” than other languages spoken in India, which is wrong.
Re: marriages between provinces
Feeling proud and superior is arrogance and that's wrong whether it's a Pashtun or a Punjabi, but feeling ashamed of ones identity is just as bad.
Like it's proper twisted when people think they're not quite perfect and cultured till they start speaking Urdu and they feel ashamed of their own mother tongue and call it "paindu" and stuff, that's wrong that.
Every language is just as good as any other, they all have their strengths and weaknesses, Urdu might be more elegant and sweet but you can't express yourself when you're angry in Urdu the way you can in Punjabi and Punjabi has the ability to be both rustic and elegant.
There's nothing wrong with apprecating other peoples culture but one should not forget their own, Muslim Punjabis are our our brethren and allies and I love their great culture, I'd like to see it flourish in Pakistani Punjab, everyone respects Sikhs because they're not ashamed of their identity, we need the same in Pakistan, you don't have to look down on anyone to keep your heritage alive and you don't need to chummy upto Sikhs neither.
Re: marriages between provinces
Re: marriages between provinces
The overwhelming majority of Indian states (all but 2 or 3 I believe) require all school children to learn Hindi. As far as I know, Tamil Nadu is the only state in South India that doesnt. However, while pretty much all educated people in South India know at least some Hindi, they just opt to use their native tongues as their primary mode of communication. And I’m sure that just as in Pakistan, the elite end up using English as their primary language regardless of what they traditionally speak.
Re: marriages between provinces
Why are pashtuns so hell bent on creating a separate state within Pakistan? Those pashtuns, such as sjtoronto and smurf, who want a "Pashtun only" state should look towards Afghanistan. Just move there. Why do you guys want to break Pakistan into smaller pieces? As far as giving more autonomy to the provinces, I do agree with that but you also have to appreciate the efforts made by government. For example, FATA for the most part is not governed by the government.