“I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste”
David Bissonette
“When a man steals your wife, there is no betterrevenge than to let him keep her”
Sacha Guitry
“After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of acoin; they just can’t face each other, but still theystay together”
Hemant Joshi
“By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll behappy. If you get a bad one, you’ll become aphilosopher”
Socrates
“Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents usfrom achieving them”
Dumas
"The great question… which I have not been able to answer… is, “What does a woman want?”
Sigmund Freud
“I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.”
Anonymous
“Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candle light, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.”
Henry Youngman
“I don’t worry about terrorism. I was married for twoyears”
Sam Kinison
“There’s a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It’s called marriage”
James Holt McGavran
“I’ve had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn’t”
Patrick Murray
“Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming 1. Whenever you’re wrong, admit it, 2. Whenever you’re right, shut up”
Nash
“The most effective way to remember your wife’sbirthday is to forget it once”
Anonymous
“My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then wemet”
Rodney Dangerfield
“A good wife always forgives her husband when she’s wrong”
Milton Berle
“Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with theenemy”
Anonymous
“First Guy (proudly): “My wife’s an angel!” Second Guy"You’re lucky, mine’s still alive.”
pretty funny
