You have two choices in life:
You can stay single and be miserable,
Or get married and wish you were dead.
At a cocktail party, one woman said to another,
“Aren’t you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong
finger?”
“Yes, I am. I married the wrong man.”
A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds:
“Husband Wanted”
Next day she received a hundred letters.
They all said the same thing:
“You can have mine.”
When a woman steals your husband,
There is no better revenge than to let her keep him.
A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she is finished. *************************************************
A little boy asked his father ,
“Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?”
Father replied, “I don’t know, son, I’m still
paying.”
A young son asked,
“Is it true, Dad, that in some parts of Africa
A man doesn’t know his wife until he marries her?” Dad replied, “That happens in every country, son.”
Then there was a man who said,
“I never knew what real happiness was until I got
married, And by then, it was too late.” *************************************************
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. *************************************************
If you want your spouse to listen and
Pay strict attention to every word you say – talk in your sleep.
> Just think, if it wasn't for marriage, men would go
> through life
>
> thinking they had no faults at all.
>
> *************************************************
> First guy says, "My wife's an angel!"
>
> Second guy remarks, "You're lucky. Mine is still
> alive."
>
>
*****************************************************
> An older woman and older man lived next door
> to each other, and
> continually had verbal confrontations across the
> fence with each other.
> Finally one day the old lady looked at the
> old man and said, "If you
> were my old man............I'd feed you
> poison"...............to which he
> replied.............."Yeah and if you were my old
> lady............I'd
> "GLADLY" take it"!
>
>
********************************************************
>
> A state trooper was trying to get a vehicle to
> pull over for a minor
> traffic violation to give the driver a warning. The
> trooper turned his blue
> lights and siren on, and all of a sudden the
> vehicle took off like it was
> going to a fire.
> The driver made a slight mistake and turned
> down a dead end street.
> When the trooper approached the car, the man was
> sweating like crazy, heart
> pounding, etc. The officer said, "What in the world
> is your
> problem............I was only going to give you a
> warning?"
> The man said, " I didn't know that. You see
> my last wife ran off with
> a state trooper, and every time I hear a siren and
> see blue lights it scares
> me to death".
> The trooper scratching his head said, "Why does
> that scare you to death"?
>
> The man said
> because................................I'm scared to
> death
> that he's bringing her back"!
>
>
> *************************************************
> A Woman's Prayer
>
> Dear Lord, I pray for wisdom, to understand a man,
> to love and to forgive
> him, and for patience, for his moods. Because, Lord,
> if I pray for strength,
> I'll just beat him to death.
