Re: marriage
Mister sac, your signatures are giving something away. Have you been let down by some girl in the past?
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sigh may be
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Oh get over it man! I can't post here wat I know but trust me I know sooo much about this issue dat I can actually help you get over it.
Re: marriage
agar shadi ke age app ke guzray jaa rahe hai or koie larki nahi phansi tu foran arrange kar lo or agar larki phans gaie hai or shadi ko woh mana kar rahe hai tu phir bhi arrange kar lo :p
Re: marriage
Why not both ? ;)
My family isnt so strict on who marries who.... as long as the person is a good Muslim. What is important is both sides being happy with it.
A guy can see the girl and her family as many times as he wants in the presence of her Wali ( Guardian) ...... Im not sure if this goes down well with how other Asian familys might work, although for Pakistanis, Kashmiris, Pakhtun marriage should be based around the Islamic teachings.
The Prophet (s.a.w.) told his companion Al-Mughirah Ibn Shu`bah to see the woman he wanted to marry, so that they may develop feelings toward each other.
Re: marriage
Dsuhwari,
In past you were ambivalent whether to marry or not...you later were convinced that you should get marry…now another dushwari arises, whether you go for a love marriage or arrange marriage…hmm
What would be the next dushwari, can we guess the next dushwari you are gonna face?
Re: marriage
yaar shadi pyar say karo yah jo appsay pyar kartay hai un ke baat man kar karo . . . . . in the last yah zahar tu zindage bhar app ko peena paray ga nah 
Re: marriage
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agree with you 100%
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I used to tell one of my friends “shadi na kerna yara pachtayege tumhari wife…” 
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…
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are u talking about me
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That’s exactly how I got married. 
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Piyarey Bhayo and Bheno,
Masla yeye hey keye... whenever I like to present my view point, then I try to consult a trusted body of peer group at the same time.
Do not think that you all are not going to or already are - facing the issue of choosing, painfully, who to take on for life...
it is not like buying a car or deciding on kiwi or fries.
The merger between a man and a woman in the context of decent unions called marriages, is a pretty hard deal. Once, you have your act together, only then you can hope for success.
I only wanted to seek general yet meaningful exchange of ideas..
Thanks all.
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i prefer love marriage.... a love marriage 2 be arranged is perfect.
But the parents should be involved and a proper, formal proposal should take place and accepted khushi khushi se!
I'm not against arranged marriages but one should be allowed to communicate (talk) and build up some understanding before deciding to tie the knot.
Re: marriage
You’re right, my friends and I have mulled over the marriage question for hours. I wrote something on this topic a while back on my blog. I’ll cut n paste the main points from my blog ..
Pakistani culture and Islam beckon me with security, familiarity and ease. By agreeing to an arranged marriage, I could more easily satisfy my religious obligation to abstain from intimacy with the opposite sex until marriage. And so, I find myself defending arranged marriage against those who see it as absurd or even barbaric.
At the same time, Pakistani culture repels me with its expectation that I adhere to a tradition that essentially advocates handing me over to a man for mere safekeeping.
Beyond my parent’s requirements, there are traits I need in the man I marry that cannot be discerned from a few meetings. Will he be able to hold his own in a discussion with me? Will he accept that I am an individual and respect that individualism? Will he make fun of Bollywood films with me?
Is it selfish and idealistic to want “true love”? My Western instincts tell me that love comes before marriage, not a few years after. I wonder, if I have one foot in each world, is it possible to keep from being torn apart?
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semi arranged is the way 2 go....that way everyone is pleased.
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Perfect post 
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I would concur with Sama.
Both of these extreme notions of either being selfish in doing a "love marriage", disregarding familial expectations, in the context of our culture (albeit one that is sometimes forced on us, but many do like it that way to gain acceptance in our community or plainly out of their own accord), or simply saying 'yes, I do" to any dick and harry or sally or jane... is not right.
Part love & part arranged is a moderate way to go. For young men from Pakistan, increasingly this is the norm after all the white, black, brown, yellow friends they had had in the freedom enjoyed by them here. For girls or young women - the ease with which they can choose a part arranged-part love marriage is still a far fetched dream on average.
So what do we do, where do we go from here as honest, decent young Muslim immigrants in western societies? We all have to marry, or most of us want to or will have to - but if the fears and worries are over bearing what will be the end in sight? How realistic can we be in managing family's expectations as well as find some one who is compatible for us?
Dushwari
Re: marriage
Aapkee dushwari buhat hee ganbheer hai. Dont lose hope. Kabhee na kabhee sab kuch khud hee khud ho jaata hai aur aap sirf bhugatne ke liye rah jaate ho, whether its your decision or somebody else's. Till that time, do something else that you like to do.