Remember; Marriage is the number one cause of divorce. It’s TRUE! Statistically 100% of all divorces started with marriage!
I married Miss Right. I just didn’t know her first name was Always.
I haven’t spoken to my wife for 18 months. I don’t like to interrupt her.
Marriage is a 3-ring circus: Engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.
The last fight was my fault. My wife asked, “What’s on the TV?” I said, “Dust!”
In the beginning, God created earth and rested. Then God created man and rested. Then God created woman. Since then, neither God nor man has rested.
Why do men die before their wives? They want to.
Do you know the punishment for bigamy? Two mothers-in-law.
/*** This next one is old and I have posted it here before but I love this joke so that’s why its here again - Sorry people *****/
A man inserted an ‘ad’ in the classified: “Wife wanted”. Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: “You can have mine.”
First guy (proudly): “My wife’s an angel!” Second guy: “You’re lucky, mine’s still alive.”
Just think, if it weren’t for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.
Dreams won’t come true if you only want them to, but they will when you know they can.