I am not sure if this topic has been discussed here before, but I’ll take my chances.
As the title suggests, what do you think about it? Should financial background matter given that the boy and the girl and compatible otherwise? By that I mean that they have comparable education, looks and goals. In addition, they enjoy each other’s company, know and understand each other.
Let me share some more information here. One of my cousins, whose dad happens to be one of the biggest construction magnates in Pakistan, got married to a girl from a middle class family. They get along well, but it could partially be due to the fact the his parents were looking for a good girl, and not just the daughter of another big shot.
One of my uncles, who’s not rich but is fairly well educated, and has a decent/good job got married into the Makhdums of Multan. He had some issues with his wife in the beginning, but I guess both of them compromised in the end.
A friend of mine, who’s more of a charmer than anything else, got married to a very influential politican’s daughter a little while ago. I hope, wish and pray they get along well. I think they do.
Yea i think family financial status is a huge issue in Pakistan. No matter how Good a girl or boy is, still while marrying, parents always consider this factor. In my point of view its ok to consider it, but in over all picture its weight shouldn't be more then 2%.
I was listening to an islamic lecture the other day and the guy mentioned that in islam its ok and permitted for a girl to assess a guy based on his financial situation (not that he has to be uber rich or something) and that she can put forth a condition that he keep her the way she was raised (in terms of finances) IF he can and if he can't then the girl can decide whether she wants to make that compromise or not.
I know from personal experience that it can and is hard if a woman comes from a well to do family and finances and then has to lead a life where the going is a little rough.... and that test some ppl pass and some don't. It leads to constant bickering, can and does lead to ungratefulness towards Allah and the husband....there is discontent in the home, in the marriage. Yet there are a lot of girls and guys who do have such marriages but they both have worked hard, compromised and lead fulfilling lives. For compromise your heart needs to be in the compromise.
For ppl who do this with the mentality of loug kya kahein gey ...yaa we are going to get embarassed, I think that is a wrong approach and a misguided way of thinking. We all are guilty of that kind of thinking on different levels.... may Allah help us all...
Social status is a big factor in marriages especially arranged.
I know a girl who belongs to middle/lower middle class and she got married into a filthy rich business family. For last 10 years she has never spent a night in her own family house.
Social status is a big factor in marriages especially arranged.
I know a girl who belongs to middle/lower middle class and she got married into a filthy rich business family. For last 10 years she has never spent a night in her own family house.
hahaha too much money is not good for health too !!
well, sometimes its an issue, and as were not in the situation we won't really understand
and remember in our culture its not about the two people its the whole family who are involved. And for an example that a lower class girl gets married to a higher class boy then some people in the family are not going to respect her and make remarks about her class, thats why theres a issue.
But saying that im middle class and gettin married to a rich family ......
I think it depends on the persons involved and their view on these differences.
For me it didnt matter but I do know ppl who would never marry anyone 'lower' than their status.
It seems so wrong to me to see how ppl divide each other and acceptance is based on socail status and not personal qualities!
I agree! ... but did u have any adjustment problems? if yes, what sort?
** Iconoclast, ** I think you are right about financial status being of more mportance in arranged marriages. I guess most educated families do not scrutnize much when it comes to love marriages, but arranged marriages are mostly business deals.
I think it all comes down to the flexibility measure, and whether or not one can compromise on material things. For girls belonging to rich families, marrying someone from not so affluent background could be more problematic than the opposite scenario.
Women in general attach more importance to their partner’s financial worth than men do. Men in general attach more importance to their partner’s good looks. Not saying that other factors are not considered, but upward social mobility is a bigger problem in Pakistani culture than in Western societies. Obviously economics of a relationship will also assume more importance while making these decisions. People don’t want to get stuck in a relationship where they’d have to sacrifice their standard of living.
now i am not trying to offend anyone here so plezz dont take offence
but iv experienced this myself so this is y iam saying it and iv seen this amoongst so many paksitnais.
i think a big reason that rich people usually dont marry their childrne 2 poor chlidrne or those with lesser wealth is becasue there is A LOT of JEALOUSY that goes on especially between relatives but also acquaintances nd freidns! nd most ppl in paksitan do marry into thier relatives. ppl who r jealous of u may not be very diret in showing this on the outside but 4rom the inside some of hte m r fuming and such people can really become ziddi and dangerous.
nd soemtimes it s bcs those with less wealth r really greedy and hungry for the luxurious lifestyle that they beleive comes with wealth. instaed of working hard themselves they just want to sit and enjoy on other people's money. especially whe n its relative then they think that htey have some kind of 'haq' on their dolath or jaidath
im not saying all lower/middle class people r lik e this but seom of htem r.
and its really a pain 2 deal with these type of people bcs they just make an assumption about u if ur well off. it doesnt matter what u do or dont do, if ur nice or not. they alwayz have in the back of their mind 'yeh log apne aap ko samajte kia heh?' they twist ur inniocent remarks into soemthing evil and hten try 2 get back nad u and torture u. nd if dont torture u theyre always snotty and tryihing to put u down.
and u cant even talk 2 them about their behaviour/jealousy nad what hteyre doing bcs that ll just make things owrse. so u see its not as black and white as u guyz think. if its 2 upper class fmailes who r doing rishta wiht eacother chances r that theyre not jealous of eachother, at least not in this department and a lot of problems can b avoided.
again plleeez no on e take offense, i know a lot of ppl /families who r nothat ameer r not like this. khuch not so rich amileis bhi bohot khudaar aur shareef log hote hain. but what ive described above happens A LOT amongst paksitanis in paksitan and aborad.
now i am not trying to offend anyone here so plezz dont take offence
but iv experienced this myself so this is y iam saying it and iv seen this amoongst so many paksitnais.
i think a big reason that rich people usually dont marry their childrne 2 poor chlidrne or those with lesser wealth is becasue there is A LOT of JEALOUSY that goes on especially between relatives but also acquaintances nd freidns! nd most ppl in paksitan do marry into thier relatives. ppl who r jealous of u may not be very diret in showing this on the outside but 4rom the inside some of hte m r fuming and such people can really become ziddi and dangerous.
nd soemtimes it s bcs those with less wealth r really greedy and hungry for the luxurious lifestyle that they beleive comes with wealth. instaed of working hard themselves they just want to sit and enjoy on other people's money. especially whe n its relative then they think that htey have some kind of 'haq' on their dolath or jaidath
im not saying all lower/middle class people r lik e this but seom of htem r.
and its really a pain 2 deal with these type of people bcs they just make an assumption about u if ur well off. it doesnt matter what u do or dont do, if ur nice or not. they alwayz have in the back of their mind 'yeh log apne aap ko samajte kia heh?' they twist ur inniocent remarks into soemthing evil and hten try 2 get back nad u and torture u. nd if dont torture u theyre always snotty and tryihing to put u down.
and u cant even talk 2 them about their behaviour/jealousy nad what hteyre doing bcs that ll just make things owrse. so u see its not as black and white as u guyz think. if its 2 upper class fmailes who r doing rishta wiht eacother chances r that theyre not jealous of eachother, at least not in this department and a lot of problems can b avoided.
again plleeez no on e take offense, i know a lot of ppl /families who r nothat ameer r not like this. khuch not so rich amileis bhi bohot khudaar aur shareef log hote hain. but what ive described above happens A LOT amongst paksitanis in paksitan and aborad.
**Both Families should be close to each others Economic/Financial Status......why make the biggest reason for arguments in any Marriage.....Money.........more worse...........:(
Islam recommends a balanced Nisaab also..........Right?
**
I think that the girl must have humility, money can and will come/go...to have the girl who is not extravagant despite having millions is much better than someone who cares more spending it.
That being said, I plan on making more than enough money that she wouldn't have to work and could enjoy life.
