I knew a girl who sold off all her bari jewelry once and the weird part was no one noticed. She would buy all sorts of things and shower people with gifts and show how much money she now has (she didnt have much before marriage). Then she started stealing from her in laws as well. When the in laws asked her to hand over the jewelry so that they could calculate the zakaat on it, she kept procrastinating and then created this whole situation where she hired the maid's husband to act as a robber and act as if stole the jewelry case and all. It was so bad and the boy was completely stunned when the whole story came out to be true. The poor in laws were so shocked and shareef that they didn't even bother to ask for money back on the stuff she sold and stole. And if you think thats bad, check out the cherry on top - the girl's father asked for the mehr and jahaiz back :S
I don't think you should ask for the money or gifts back because they're already going through such a bad time during their divorce(such as the groom in the story above), its more like adding insult to injury if you expect your gifts back
If she sold the bari then thts upto her.. it was a gift and she could do whatever with it but stealing from ur inlaws? thts wierd!
My neighbor's daughter got married in paki and my mom gave them $1000 as gift (the money was divided in the entire family... for the parent's of the bride, the bride and her siblings etc). But the marriage broke up within 3 months and we never even thought about the gift money. We were more concerned about wht their family was going through...
The girl wanted a divorce and would come cry at my house. her mom would come and cry infront of my mom and stuff. The girl told us tht her parents were forcing her to stay with the guy and that they would follow her around, beat her up, curse at her, listen to her phone conversations, and what not. But her mom would tell my mom a completely different story about the girl talking to another guy and her hubby finding out but her hubby was still begging her to stay with him. The girl eventually moved out of her parent's house.
They are both miserable. The girl works two jobs and her mom is just so depressed.
a gift is a gift... i would never ever except it back... now if the same person is getting married again soon after the divorce then i would definitely have a problem giving him/her an expensive gift or money again
no, i think you have a year as a couple to send out thank you cards for the gifts you’ve received, but you don’t wait up to a year to actually give the gift! showing up with a gift 6 months after the wedding would be super awkward!
to answer the question, nope. a gift is a gift. if it didn’t work out, too bad for the couple, but they’re not obligated to return anything.
no, i think you have a year as a couple to send out thank you cards for the gifts you've received, but you don't wait up to a year to actually give the gift! showing up with a gift 6 months after the wedding would be super awkward!
to answer the question, nope. a gift is a gift. if it didn't work out, too bad for the couple, but they're not obligated to return anything.
Well what if you couldn't afford to give a gift at the wedding?
I think back in those days people gave real gifts like expensive crystal or china. I think because of how things once were it was proper for the couple to give back the gifts just because what does a single man or woman need with china or silver serving platters? i think that now that gifts are money you can't really get that back. in fact a lot of people plan their weddings by putting things on credit and expecting their wedding gifts to sadly pay down their credit card bills they used to throw their wedding. I also think desi ppl feel so sorry for the couple they would never even consider wanting their money back. it was given in a good occasion whole heartedly so it's not something anyone would want back.
If you are so concerned about the your gifts fate , do not give a gift, no one will complain to you. Just go to the wedding , enjoy and come back. Gift is not given to make the bond of marriage strong. But as a gesture of love for the bride and groom. As a token of how much you cherish this holy matrimony. Once the marriage is over it is painful for both the parties you do not want give them more grief by asking them your gifts back. There is no amicable divorce in desi community. It is mourned for years to come by both parties.
well if a couple does break up after less than a year of marriage, i doubt they woudl want to shout it to the world and to make a big deal. they probably feel hurt, sad, and even ashamed and embarrased. i doubt returning gifts is at the top of their priority lists. and honestly, if that is what one is thinking when they hear about someone who is going through this ordeal (someone who probably was close to these people since they were invited to their wedding), then IMHO, that's just cheap.
you gave the gift with the intention you bought it for. what the reciever does with it is their business.
lol so does that mean you being the guest at a wedding where the host paid for your dinner, the host is then able to deduct the amount it cost them to feed u that night from your gift :)
Well what if you couldn't afford to give a gift at the wedding?
then why would you attend? and honestly, how many people are in this position? i still say it looks bad to give a gift later on, unless they're super close friends and you have enough of a relationship with them that they would understand.
then why would you attend? and honestly, how many people are in this position? i still say it looks bad to give a gift later on, unless they're super close friends and you have enough of a relationship with them that they would understand.
so here is a question, if you feel that you can't afford to give someone a gift or $100 cash, would you attend the wedding or not? Also, as a host are you somewhat expecting gifts, since you may be relying on that money to pay for some of your wedding??
then why would you attend? and honestly, how many people are in this position? i still say it looks bad to give a gift later on, unless they're super close friends and you have enough of a relationship with them that they would understand.
So if you can't afford to give a gift you shouldn't attend?
^^ correct :p ......no im kidding...of course not....i dont think westerners make such a hoo ha out of gifts...!!
as for your question.....if i was the guest....i wouldnt really expect my gift back...but if i was the bride and about to get a divorce and my silverware/crystal vase on my coffee table etc etc reminded me of my wedding (if in a good condition) id probably give it back :p
or ebay it.....the money could come in handy for all the therapy im going to need during/after the divorce :D
so here is a question, if you feel that you can't afford to give someone a gift or $100 cash, would you attend the wedding or not? Also, as a host are you somewhat expecting gifts, since you may be relying on that money to pay for some of your wedding??
So if you can't afford to give a gift you shouldn't attend?
it depends on how close i am to the couple in question. if i was really close to them then of course i would attend and i'm sure they would know of/understand my situation. if it was someone i wasn't that close to then i'd have no issues with declining the invitation because i'd feel bad showing up empty-handed, personally speaking.