Marriage rituals

[Cashmere]

Re: Marriage rituals

@muqawwee123

Is it in Punjabi culture?

I think this used to be follwed in Sindhi community as well

**Yes it is punjabi culture for sure. **

@mahool

Mayon (Naat, Ubtan…)
Mehndi (Songs, Ungli pakrai of groom by dulhan’s sister)
Wedding (Rasta Rukwai of groom by dulhan’s brothers, Nikkah, Rukhsati, Saat suhagan sehra pehnai to dulhan, giving sadqa first time when dulhan enters in her new home, kheer khilai, rasta rukwai by groom’s sister, picking dulhan, monh dekhai…)
Valima
Chonthi (Juta chupai by dulhan’s sisters)

**Aww that’s cute I’d love to be a part of these. These kinds of rituals make weddings more fun!! **

@muqawwee123

Like there is this custom in many communities that bride is asked to cook some meetha (kheer) when she starts cooking in in-laws.

When a bride visits relatives, she is given some gifts / money (we call it ghar aayo in Sindhi).

There are many customs which are not against faith. Like in OP oiling the doors is not a sin… Its a common practice to avoid noise created by old doors. Nowadays, people built new homes or at least renovate before wedding. In old times, not everyone was making a separate home (due to prevalent joint family system) and therefore they white-wash their homes and oiled old doors. Nothing sinful in that.

**
Yeah I agree that these rituals have nothing to do with religion, and therefore are not ‘against’ religion either. I’ve also witnessed the new bride makes some sort of dessert as a part of her introductory cooking. Well you seem to be very knowledgable about this. I had no idea why they did all that oil stuff, but now I do. Thanks!
**

@ZeeLu

The reason rituals such as putting oil on the gate (First time i’ve heard that), or doodh pilayee or anything such as that are not allowed in Islam precisely because they are not Islamic practices. It is things like these that develop into beliefs and norms of the society after a while. For example putting the Qur’an over the heads of the bride during rukhsati like it’s some Sunnah or a way of getting sawab, barkat or something like that for the couples new life, yada yada yada, ask anyone if they know why they place the Qur’an over the heads of the brides, they come up with their “own” interpretation and not an “actual” Sunnah or Hadith, but even though no one has a clue about it we “Religiously” practice this in every wedding like it’s the most Islamic thing to do and the rukhsati would be haraam without it.

In short the problem is not that people do these things, the problem is they do it in the name of Islam.

I am not going to debate over what’s Sunnah and what isn’t, because people in this country debate, no actually they argue without any backings or authentic citations to prove their clearly misguided beliefs handed-down-by-their-hindu-or-indian-ancestors to them. Also because people here argue only for the sake of arguing rather than getting to an agreeable point, or at least accepting that yes you’ve learnt something out of the debate.

So Conclusion?

Do whatever you want to do, just make sure you spell it out to everyone that what you’re doing (joota chupaee, mehndi ki raat, doodh pilaee, putting oil on the doors etc) is not Islamic but ONLY CULTURAL. So people know that these rituals/rasms/events have no significance in Islam and there is no sawab coming out of these events. That way, no one can tell you that you’re actually misleading, misguiding and doing a sin by promoting biddah (which means adding something new in Islam, like say placing the Qur’an over the heads) amongst people.

Peace Out (:

I just wanted to know the kinds of indo-pak marriage traditions and stuff. Ofcourse they’re purely cultural. And people all over the world involve themselves in marriage rituals.** I find these things interesting and fun, I did not intend by any means, to start a religious discussion here.

Quran is also a part of the gift given by the bride’s parents. So as she walks, the Quran is placed over the head for blessings. And this belief somehow does correspond to our belief about how Quran brings bliss. Yes, I do agree with you on the fact that most people perform these rituals religiously, due to their ignorance of the religion itself. But others, including my family do these rituals **** [doodh pilayee, etc etc] ****merely for Fun.
**

@Khalil KhaaN FaaKhta

oops! sorry yaaro, i posted my cooments in the wrong thread…it was meant for another thread in which a Gappan asked about her sick sister-in-law whom she wanted to take to a peer saab for treatment.

Muqwee, can you please move my post to that thread please. thank you!

**lol, funny how one post from your end threw off our discussion entirely So what kinds of rituals have you witnessed in your family? **