Marriage Preference--Alike OR Opposite?

Lifestyle Relationships
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What do you thinks works well..or has worked well for you in real life…marriage to your polar opposites or someone with personality characteristics like yourself? I would like to know about married couples too …how is the choice working out for you? For the polar opposites the bridging is quintessential. According to our instructor he said that opposites are just better as it completes the other half? My husband and I are like total opposites when it comes to personality traits, he is introvert, I am extrovert, he like things all orderly..I like to experiment with new ways…etc…so far been okay as its the bridging that is involved…
Your views??

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Re: Marriage Preference--Alike OR Opposite?

I believe in having similar characteristics/similarities between two people. You have more fun and less disagreements and if any problems arise, you are able to sort them out rationally and with less arguments. AH me and my husband are quite alike in many ways - we also like to experiment with different things. I feel more closer and happier when he wants to do the same thing as me.

Silly example could be if i am having a certain sandwich and i have provided with alot of options/varieties, he will always opt for the one i am having. Its really sweet and i love him and i just feel so close to him AH.

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Re: Marriage Preference--Alike OR Opposite?

^ You learn a lot if there are differences between you but I think it depends upon the stamina you have to tolerate something different from your own traits. Many people are "dictatorial" or "rigid" so they are unwilling to accept changes easily [or at all] leading to divorces..

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Re: Marriage Preference–Alike OR Opposite?

How long are your guys married if you dont mind me asking:)…
So in your mind the similarities are more important ..I would say that in general we like people who are similar to ourselves you know for examples friend wise too.:)Also dependent on the nature of the people too if comfort is one of their value..
and :cb: at the sandwich selection:D

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Re: Marriage Preference–Alike OR Opposite?

Sad but true…the Bridging is the part where either people make it or break it…:slight_smile: As for the dictorial personalities..better that they put their act together soon or hit the road..Jack:cb::slight_smile:

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Re: Marriage Preference--Alike OR Opposite?

Its about doing stuff together. Ever seeing a crack couple?0 Yep that's it. These people have found somthing to do together, which is why they stay together.

It does not matter what your spoues' political and social beliefs are as long as you sit down once a day together and do some activity. Something like watching movies, outdoors or hobbies. These acitivities=time, which makes it easier to understand each other. You don't have to make time rather its life.

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Re: Marriage Preference--Alike OR Opposite?

Ek ladka aur ek ladki ek doosray se wesay hi itnay mukhtalif hotay hain, ab aur aap kiya chahte hain?

As for my choice, he's exactly my age so we readily have a lot in common -like going out, our stance on political/religious/cultural issues. On the other hand, we are very different, because he stays calm about everything and I get worked up over the littlest things. There are some gender-related differences you cannot bridge, you just have to tolerate them, and those are very obvious ones - she talks he walks types.

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Re: Marriage Preference--Alike OR Opposite?

ooohhhh Mashallah that is great! May Allah keep you both this happy, Amin.

kuch sadqa waghaira de digye ga... nazar wazar na lag ga'e :)

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Re: Marriage Preference--Alike OR Opposite?

Before i got married to my husband, i was engaged to someone whose personality was totally opposite to mine's. The relationship didnt work out and i remember myself wondering why in the world do ppl thinks opposites attract. Now my husband is alot like i am. He even does the whole sandwich thing like sunset's husband, lol :D And i think we enjoy each others company that way. We like the same foods, same movies, have the same thoughts about a lot of stuff etc etc, MaashaAllah. The downside is though, that whatever personality traits i have, he has them too. If i get annoyed easily over something, so does he. Sometimes that poses a problem if we are both annoyed/irritated at the same time, but so far we try to work through it one way or the other. Alhamdulillah.

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Re: Marriage Preference--Alike OR Opposite?

hmmmmm i think if the person is too much alike it can pose a problem, at minimum the gender should be different, but thats just my view.

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Re: Marriage Preference--Alike OR Opposite?

He's opposite of me in pretty much every single way......Sometimes it's good, sometimes its frustrating.

Punjabian di Thread
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Re: Marriage Preference–Alike OR Opposite?

just dont get married:phati:

so many aunty issues would get solved:hmmm:

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Re: Marriage Preference--Alike OR Opposite?

a little bit of both. a fine balance. alike, b/c u can relate to each other and wear each other's shoes more comfortably. and different, b/c that's where the fun really begins... ;)

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Re: Marriage Preference--Alike OR Opposite?

alike or opposite, come about when one lives together. it is blessed in case of well meaning spouses, who get to be together after indicating to each other honestly, that they are caring for each other.

you can never know someone absolutely fully, unless you and that person are totally understanding of each other.
only deeply affectionate and companionate partners who intend to get married, through a noble pact of marriage can achieve this level of affinity.
best,
Dushwari

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Re: Marriage Preference--Alike OR Opposite?

It's better to have more things in common with a spouse because after being married for a while tiny differences can start becoming huge topics to argue about so I would stay on the safer side and prefer somebody who shares the same likes/dislikes as me. It makes for a better marriage.

and from what i've seen, opposites don't attract they repel until they get to the point of wanting to kill each other, so it's not too good of a situation:D.

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Re: Marriage Preference–Alike OR Opposite?

Over 2 years AH and loving every minute of it..

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Re: Marriage Preference--Alike OR Opposite?

Thank you - i get so worried bout other ppl's nazar...

Ditto!

darrrrrling!
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Re: Marriage Preference--Alike OR Opposite?

For us being opposite works.....i mean we both have like nothing in common....and i think its actually fun cuz being with him i had experienced many things that i would have never done bu myself....same goes for him....if we both had similar likes and dislikes i guess life boring ho jati....yes we do argue sometimes but thats fun also....like for example...my hubby just hate anything changing in his life....and i like to experience new and different things....before shaadi he used to eat like certain kind of burger everyday for his lunch...my MIL was like uss ko aur kuch acha he nahi lagta...and same thing for naashta which was omlet....but ones we got married i was like you should try new things....he was like no way....but ones he actually tried a variety of things for his lunch and breakfast, he actually likes it...now if i give omlet 2 days in a row hes like kel tou omlet khaya tha...lol..another example is i was never an organize person....my things were like everywhere which created aloooot of problems for me cuz i never used to find stuff....but now i changed this habit of mine due to him and trust me life is better now....

:D