Marriage, life and issues

[Reha]

@Mamaof3

Reha,
I see what you’re saying. I think I was too specific for something that should be more of a general question.

It looks to me like when seeking shaadi, both the guys and the gals dont consider the more important traits. In the west, marriage vows commonly have these elements in one form or another: In sickness and in health, for better and for worse, ffor richer and for poorer, till death do us part.

These are very good things to look at when seeking a mate. But I dont think these things are actually considered till after marriage. Sure, you cant imagine each and every possible thing that could go wrong or right…but considering things like what kind of parent would this potential shaadi make? What would he/she be like in a family crisis? What would he/she be like in a financial crisis? These things to me are as important or more so as family background, physical attraction and income.

And I agree with you here wholeheartedly. If someone cannot prove to be a good friend or confidante before then chances are they wont be one after the I DO’s either.

We consider chemistry, wealth, caste, social status and education. But none of these things really impact how a person will react in a time of crisis when their spouse needs them the most. There was a thread a little while ago about a girl who wanted to separate from her husband because he lost his job and couldn’t afford to give her the kind of life she wanted anymore. He wasn’t a bum, he was a victim of our sad economic state.

So, you’re right when you say a person’s less obvious qualities should be considered but then my question would be how to do it in a manner that is deemed okay in our society? Let’s rule dating out for the time being because its not an option for most of us.