What retarded bs is that! I've heard some people say that a marriage isn't a 'real' marriage till the couple has kids. Correct me if I'm wrong but I thought a marriage was a real marriage once the nikaah papers were signed by both parties. Not only that but some dumb people actually say that if a couple is having problems, arguing, fighting, etc then they should have kids right away so that it can 'solidify' the marriage and that they won't fight anymore and the marriage will not end in divorce. Am I the only one that thinks that's the dumbest thing ever? Is there anyone here who actually believes this?
yea thats the old reatrd way of doing things!!! dont i repeat do not do that! back in the day n even now some ppl think it will give the other party not happy in a relationship and additional reason to remain. thats really what it is. but in our society with 50% divorce its no longer a motivation. ppl get divorced anyway and kids get hurt. thats why i say get married and for atleast a year no kids just so you know how you are with each other not to mention stabilize yourself. just get used to one another and adjust - or not in which case atleast there isnt another life you are screwing up.
Going thru a pregnancy and having a baby DOES bring a couple closer together (this applies to both people with and without problematic marriages, imo).
However this under no circumstances mean the marriage was not solidified before having the kid.
What retarded bs is that! **I've heard some people say that a marriage isn't a 'real' marriage till the couple has kids. Correct me if I'm wrong but I thought a marriage was a real marriage once the nikaah papers were signed by both parties. Not only that but some dumb people actually say that if a couple is having problems, arguing, fighting, etc then they should have kids right away so that it can 'solidify' the marriage and that they won't fight anymore and the marriage will not end in divorce. Am I the only one that thinks that's the **dumbest thing ever? Is there anyone here who actually believes this?
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Hi Sumo,**
You're absolutely right. These ideas are just that! In other words such ideas are indeed "retarded BS" and "the dumbest thing ever."
If it were so easy to say that having children solidifies a marriage........how come there are sooooo many couples who get a divorce after having not just one......but several kids??????
And if a marriage is only considered to be "real" when a couple has kids.......then what about those marriages in which the couple cannot have children???? Does that mean that their marriage is less of a marriage? Does that mean that they are less husband and wife than those who do have kids? And what if their childless marriage is more happy than a couple who does have children???? What about married couples whose child/ren have died and are now childless??? Is their marriage less real? less solid?
Such a thought does not have validity in Islam. Was the person who made such a retarded comment a desi/Muslim?????? If so, you should tell this retard that there were a few prophets of Allah whom were married but did not have children for MANY years. Were the marriages of these prophets less real?
Oh and is it really fair for children to have parents that have a dysfunctional marriage? Is it conducive to the healthy development of children to have parents who can't stand each other? Should children grow up in such an unhealthy environment?
Isn't it **SELFISH **to only bring children into this world so that you can "save" your marriage??????? Children are a huge responsibility. If you bring them into the world, you do your best to raise them. You don't "USE" your children for your own needs. That's so messed up. And what if the children are not able to save the marriage.........do you kick them out?
These WEAK ideas have no validity in Islam. Tell the WEAK-MINDED **individual who came up with these WEAK** "points".........to stop pulling ideas out of his/her BUTT.
Sumo.......correct me if I'm wrong, but I vaguely remember u saying that you're married. If so........pay no heed to such erroneous ideas. You will have children when Allah in His wisdom knows that it's the right time for you to have them. Till then, enjoy each and every day of your marriage and be happy! Children need parents who make a happy and loving couple first.
^haha im not in that situation. i was just thinking about some other people. with my strong opinions, my inlaws or even my relatives would dare not say something dumb like that to me.
i agree with u completely. feel bad for the kids specially when things dont work out between the husband and wife.
anyone else notice the bold red butt in redvelvet's post and want to take a quick second look, or is it just me...
If the mere word is enough to turn you on........one can only imagine how the sight of an actual gluteus maximus would impact you. Would that warrant a third look? Or a fourth? A double take?
If the mere word is enough to turn you on........one can only imagine how the sight of an actual gluteus maximus would impact you. Would that warrant a third look? Or a fourth? A double take?
RV, edit your post and add a bright reld emboldened "OCKS" on the end of the original word for queer. I think it will finish him off.
What retarded bs is that! I've heard some people say that a marriage isn't a 'real' marriage till the couple has kids. Correct me if I'm wrong but I thought a marriage was a real marriage once the nikaah papers were signed by both parties. Not only that but some dumb people actually say that if a couple is having problems, arguing, fighting, etc then they should have kids right away so that it can 'solidify' the marriage and that they won't fight anymore and the marriage will not end in divorce. Am I the only one that thinks that's the dumbest thing ever? Is there anyone here who actually believes this?
This is all bull's s*** really, i have seen alots of happy living couples without kids, what they fight all the times no, they love eachother and they love alots...
they care for eachother.. its just our old generation's thinking. in some cases you may say, like if a man is not good or addicted to something then kids might do something to let him awake...
See this is in Allah's hands he will give you a kid when He wants, If He dont want to then who will bring, then what.. she should be out of the house or should be dead..No i dont think sooo...she still have to be respected..same.
But out society never let her live a smooth life.. i m sure..
Just like you you have question in your mind you must be facing some problems in your married life but its not true.. my dear , If a man loves his wife from the cores of his heart then it should not think like this..
