Marriage (Islam vs Traditions)

Society Religion & Philosophy
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FORCED MARRIAGES

It is not permissible for the father or someone besides him to compel the one who is under his guardianship to marry someone she does not desire to marry. Rather, it is necessary to seek her consent and permission due to the saying of the Messenger (sas): The virgin is not to be married until her consent has been sought. They said: O Messenger of Allaah! What is her consent? He replied: Her silence. And in another wording: And regarding the virgin, her father seeks her consent and her consent is her silence.

Therefore it is obligatory upon the father when she reaches the age of nine or greater that he asks for her consent. It is likewise for her guardians, they do not marry her without her consent. This is obligatory upon all of them. Whoever marries his daughter without permission/consent then the marriage is not correct because one of the conditions of the marriage is the consent and pleasure of both parties. So if he marries her without her being pleased with it and compels her with strong threats or even beating, the marriage is not valid...

It is required from the prospective husband, when he knows that she does not desire him for marriage, that he does not pursue the matter even if her father facilitates this for him (give him permission). It is obligatory for him to fear Allaah and not to come to the woman who does not want him for marriage... It is obligatory for him to beware of what Allaah has made unlawful upon him and this is because the Messnger (sas) ordered the girls consent to be sought (first).

False Testimonies

Question: I have a sister and my father married her to someone without seeking her opinion and without her being pleased with it. She is twenty-one years of age and he made a false testimony for the marriage contract (saying) that the girl agrees to the marriage. What is the ruling regarding this marriage contract?

It is not lawful for the father or any one else to compel the girl into marriage with someone she does not desire even if he is suitable, because the Messenger (sas) said: "Do not marry the virgin until her permission has been sought." And this is general - no one is exempted from it, not (even) her guardians. It is reported in Saheeh Muslim: "The virgin, her father is to seek her consent..."

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Forced Marriages
Imam Ibn Taymiyyah

Fatwaa from “Al-Masaa’il ul-Maardeeniyyah”
Translated by Aboo `Abdillaah Muhammad al-Jibaalee
Hudaa, November 1995

May a father force his virgin daughter who attained puberty to marry? Two well-known opinions in this regard are reported from Ahmad:

That he may compel her. This is also the opinion of Maalik, ash-Shaafi`ee, and others.
That he may not. This is also the opinion of Aboo Haneefah and others, and is the correct one.

People have differed as tot he reason permitting the compulsion: whether it is virginity, the daughter being under-aged, or a combination of both. The closest opinion to the truth is her being under-aged, whereas no one can compel a grown-up virgin in marriage. Aboo Hurayrah, radhiallahu anhu reported that the Prophet, sallallahualaihi wa sallam, said:

"A non-virgin woman may not be married without her command, and a virgin may not be married without her permission; and enough permission for her is to remain silent (because of her natural shyness)." [Al-Bukhaaree, Muslim, and others]

Thus the Prophet, sallallahu alaihi wa sallam, prohibits forcing a virgin in marriage without her permission, whether it be her father or someone else. Furthermore,Aa';ishah, radhiallahu anhaa, said that she asked the Prophet, sallallahualaihi wa sallam, "In the case of a young girl whose parents marry her, should her permission be sought or not?" He replied, "Yes, she must give her permission." She then said, "But a virgin will be shy, O Allaah’s Messenger." He answered:

"Her silence is [considered as] her permission." [Al-Bukhaaree, Muslim, and others]

This applies to the father as well as others. Furthermore, Islaam does not give the father the right to use any of her wealth without her permission, how then could he be allowed to decide, without her permission, how her body (which is more important than her wealth) is to be used, specially when she disagrees to that and is mature to decide for herself?

Also, there is evidence and concensus in Islaam to restrict an underage person’s free control of his wealth or person. However, to make a virginity a reason for the restriction contradicts the Islaamic basis.

As for the difference between the non-virgin and virgin in the hadeeth of the Prophet, sallallahu `alaihi wa sallam, it is not a differentiation between compulsion and non-compulsion; the difference between the two cases is that (a) the former gives her instructions for the marriage whereas the latter gives permission, and that (b) the virgin’s silence counts as a permission. The reason for this is that a virgin would be shy to discuss the matter of marriage, so she is not proposed to directly; rather, her walee (guardian) is approached, he takes her permission, and then she gives him the permission not the command to marry her.

And as for a non-virgin, she would not have the shyness of virginity anymore; thus she can discuss the matter of her marriage, she can be proposed to, and she gives the command to her walee to perform the marriage, and he must obey her.

Thus the walee is command-executor in the case of the non-virgin, and is permission-seeker in the case of the virgin. This is what the Prophet's words indicate. As for compelling her to marry despite her loathing to do so, this would contradict the fundamentals and reason. Allaah taala did not permit a walee to force her to sell or rent her property without her permission. Neither did He permit him to force her to eat or drink or wear that which she does not wish. How would He then oblige her to accompany and copulate with a person whose company she hates - at the time when Allaah taala has sent between the two spouses love and mercy? If such company happens despite her hatred and repulsion, where is the love and mercy?

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Forced marriages are a violation of human rights. End it!

Soheila Sharifi

Every year more than 1,000 British and European girls, many in their teens are sent to Pakistan, India, Yemen, Algeria and other Islamist countries to visit their relatives, only to discover that they have been secretly married off to a man they have never seen. Many of them are taken to remote villages with no chance of escape. They normally have no access to a telephone or post office, in order to seek help. For many of these girls, this marriage equates being, beaten up and raped repeatedly by a stranger who is called a husband.

These extreme cases are still a small percentage of arranged marriages, which take place every day in Europe. Thousands of girls from Islamist communities are taken from their schools and forced into lives they have no wish to enter. Each year a considerable number of young girls run away from their homes, escaping underage, forced marriages or unbearable Islamic teachings towards women.

Although these girls are European citizens, they receive little protection from European governments and local authorities when they refuse their family’s verdicts. Teachers and head teachers are aware that Hina, Nadia, Rashida and many more who have not returned from their school holidays are likely to be trapped somewhere in India or Pakistan, but there is no system to oblige them to seek explanation from these girls’ families.

For many years the issue of forced and arranged marriages has led to hot discussions, publicity and disagreement among politicians, sociologists and educational authorities. Whenever a young girl is threatened or runs away from a forced marriage or when a brave young girl manages to tell her story to the public, the wounds open up again and the whole society feels disgusted by what is happening under its nose. Soon, however, people go back to their normal lives, leaving hundreds of girls and women to struggle with their fate.

There have been some attempts to put a stop to these inhumane actions. In Britain, the Home Office has established a working group since August 1999. This group aims to challenge and change people’s attitudes in order to prevent forced marriages. The organisers of this group do not intend to change the law, as they believe the law is clear and sufficient in this regard. Instead they are trying to facilitate dialogues between young people and their elders, inform the public about the consequences of forced marriages on individuals and families and educate people about human rights and family life.

The group has been criticised by women activists for deficiencies in their tactics of tackling the issue of forced marriage. Some of these activists believe stricter laws are required in dealing with families who force their children into marriage. They also call for the government to play a more active role in supporting and defending the victims of forced marriages.

We at the International Campaign for the Defence of Women’s Rights in Iran (ICDWRI) know how Islamic rules and regulations suppress women and violate their rights. We consider ourselves part of a strong movement that fights for equality and freedom in society. We believe that forced marriages are an absolute violation of human rights and an end has to come to arranged, forced and under aged marriages immediately.

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Forced marriages, not prohibited by law

Type: Potential violation

Broader Terms (BT): Family, protection and assistance to the

Family, establishment of the
Marriage
Marriage, consent to

Related Terms (RT): Cultural life, participation in

Other Terms (RT2 ): Leverite marriages
Arranged marriages
Thesaurus Ref. #: 10.01.01.01.01.

See ESC right: Marriage, consent to

Relevant ICESCR Article(s): 10(1)

10(1) The States Parties to the present Covenant recognize that:

  1. The widest possible protection and assistance should be accorded to the family, which is the natural and fundamental group unit of society, particularly for its establishment and while it is responsible for the care and education of dependent children. Marriage must be entered into with the free consent of the intending spouses.

Other related international instruments: UDHR 16.1 ; ICCPR 23.2 ; ECHR 12 ; ACHR 17.2 ; CEDAW 16 ; CERD 5(d)(iv)
Document Abbreviation Guide

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The day came, when they were to part forever, Tears, didn’t stop rolling, hands didn’t stop roaming, “Why does it have to be like this?” she wondered. “Why cant we just be together?” he wondered. Both lying in the realm of fantasy, Both knowing the fantasy would now turn into a horrible reality.

It would have been better all round if they had spoken up before, But their parents both proud, would have created a great uproar, “Didn’t you think of our izzat” “Didn’t you think of our badnaami?” “We know what is best” “ You are but a child, you don’t know what you want” Emotional torture, physical pain, its what you get, you nearly go insane. Why does it happen, no one knows, it’s a feeling inside you, You think you might explode.

A year or two passes, they have made a new life, Living with the persons their parents chose, still feeling strife “He is a nice guy, I’ll give him a chance, I’ve married him now, why mess up. “My mother loves my wife to bits, at least she is happy, I can cope, but never forget” The winds of change have gone and passed, But one thing that cannot be changed, Is the love they once shared, something they will never have again.

About the Author: Rifat Hussain, born and brought up in England currently works in the IT sector. Rifat’s interests include movies, travelling and reading.
http://www.risala.com/