Marriage (Part I)
Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady and after the wedding,
he laid down the following rules: “I’ll be home when I want, if I want and
at what time I want-and I don’t expect any hassle from you. I expect a great
dinner to be on the table unless I tell you that I won’t be home for dinner.
I’ll go hunting, fishing, boozing and card-playing when I want with my old
buddies and don’t you give me a hard time about it. Those are my rules. Any
comments?”His new bride said, “No, that’s fine with me. Just understand that there
will be sex here at seven o’clock every night . . . whether you’re here or
not.”(SHE’S GOOD!)
Marriage (Part II)
Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding
anniversary. The husband yells, "When you die , I’m getting you a headstone
that reads, ‘Here Lies My Wife - Cold As Ever.’“Oh, yeah?” she replies. "When you die, I’m getting you a headstone that
reads, “Here Lies My Husband - Stiff At Last.'”(HE ASKED FOR IT!)
Marriage (Part III)
Husband (a doctor) and his wife are having a fight at the breakfast table.
Husband gets up in a rage and says, “And you are no good in bed either,” and
storms out of the house. After sometime he realizes he was nasty and decides
to make amends and rings her up. She comes to the phone after many rings and
the irritated husband says, “What took you so long to answer the phone?”She says, “I was in bed.” “In bed this early, doing what?” “Getting a second
opinion!”(YEP, HE HAD THAT COMING, TOO!)
Marriage (Part IV)
A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement. He is so proud
of himself, that he starts calling his wife,"Mother of Six " in spite of her
objections. One night, they go to a party. The man decides that it’s time to
go home and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well. He
shouts at the top of his voice, “Shall we go home, Mother of six?'”His wife, irritated by her husband’s lack of discretion shouts right back,
“Anytime you’re ready, Father of Four.”(RIGHT ON, LADY!)
“God may have created man before woman…
but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece.”
First one is new.
:k: