Marriage falling apart :(

BombShellBabe · August 13, 2012, 12:17am

Re: Marriage falling apart

So, my husband and I have been married for almost 6 years, no kids yet, due to personal choice. We both fell in love at the age of 17 (Don’t know if it’s even considered love by some), forced our parents to get us married and got married at 21. Nothing was smooth since day one, half his family didn’t come to the wedding including his parents, just his brother came! We still managed to get married somehow.
In-laws finally started talking to me 2 years after but only when their son forced them and that too a just salams and all. We live in the same city but diff houses, close by. They still havent accepted me and show that in all their actions. Apart from the drama and **** I go through everyday from his family, MY HUSBAND AND I DON’T GET ALONG
We are totally diff personalities, want diff things from life, have totally opposite thinking, are never on the same page with any matter. Since 6 years Im trying to change for him and change my personality but theres not much i can do now. He has tried to change a couple of things too but theres a whole life and a whole personality thats too hard to change now. We both love each other but recently there seems no connection. I gradually learned to ignore his family’s mental torture but now I can’t seem to ignore the diff b/w us two :‘(
I want to stay with him and I don’t. Everyday I’m forced to think how my life will be in future as even our thoughts on how to raise our kids differ…a lot! We’re really diff people! We’re both Pakistani and Alhamdulillah but have good Islamic upbringing but since I was raised here and he came to the U.S at 14, we have that gap as well, I guess. He’s a good person but just not what I would’ve wanted. Sometimes we bring out the worst in each other :’(
I really want to save this marriage but don’t know how and sometimes can’t seem to find a reason for “what”
and “why”. I love him but sometimes all these thoughts and feelings make me feel that we don’t love each and are only there for the sake of being married, but I really can’t tell.
Can you guys please advise me what to do? What do you think is more important in a marriage…love or compatibility?

I will be very honest with you… Come closer to Allah. With HIS help, you will be able to slowly resolve every issue in life. Yes, it will take some time but you will get there inshAllah. Make dua for yourself every day especially in this blessed month of Ramadan. Talking to Allah will enlighten your heart and you might be able to look at things in a positive way. Every relation requires nurturing, compromises, and willingness. Try to be nice to your husband in every way possible because affection can change people.