Marriage and Finances

Lifestyle Relationships
1

In dual-earning families (without kids), how do you manage finances? How did you do it before having kids?

How does it change after you have kids?

For example; working from one joint account, one joint and 2 separate, 2 separate etc. How are financial responsibilities broken down? And what have you found to be the best way of working your finances?

For example, do you each take the responsibility of certain bills/groceries/rents or do you have some other arrangement?

This might be personal: What about any big purchases, mortgage etc?

And how do you work things if there is a significant difference in the two incomes? - This is where it gets tricky.

2

Re: Marriage and Finances

It was the same... before and after kids.
We have two separate accounts, I manage both..... I pay all the bills, my husband doesn't care which account from.
It all our money, it doesn't matter who earns more or who earns less. We have only one credit card (in my name, he's on my card too).... we do all expenses from that card and I pay it off every week so as to not accrue interest. All our savings are also spread out in both accounts..... his accounts tends to have more savings as he earns more. I pay utility bills from my account primarily as its more convenient for me to handle it this way.

3

Re: Marriage and Finances

MIA so the summary of the story is he earns more thn u , he is the captain of the boat :)

I gues husb shd b responsible for all kinda expenses irrespective of earning of the lady, if lady wana contribute se is well n good else se is nt suppose to b responbile for ths

4

Re: Marriage and Finances

I see. That sounds like that approach that melts away all of the money (trust) issues. And for that approach to work, there needs to be a 100% trust in each other and the commitment.

5

Re: Marriage and Finances

Ok, I COMPLETELY disagree with both your points. I really hope you're joking about at least the first one and don't actually believe it.

6

Re: Marriage and Finances

What I am told is that from women perspective there are two kinds of monies for a married couple.
My money ( earned by her)
and
Our money ( money earned by him)

Now you do the math. :)

7

Re: Marriage and Finances

exactly my thought

8

Re: Marriage and Finances

^Not all women have that attitude. All that we (me and my husband together) earn is OUR money, period.

I've seen women saying my money, my money when the men start objecting to their expenses.... yeh kiyoon liya, woh kiyoon liya.... kiya zaroorat hai? etc etc. Excuse me..... but you do earn so you can spend on yourself and your comfort, right?

When do women ask their husbands kay why did you buy this electronic gadget, kiya zaroorat hai? Have you ever seen that? They don't.

So in such situations, women keep saying my money, my money since they have no other choice. I believe if the men would trust the women and not keep interfering and tokofying on the expenses, then it would be a different story altogether.

9

Re: Marriage and Finances

we have one joint account, from the beginning. there were different times. kabhi maine zeada kamaya hai, kabhi usne...

but since we have a boy, i am at home and he is the only kamane wala....

10

Re: Marriage and Finances

I guess the best way is jst put all the money in 1 account n use them accordin to the requirement.if u feel lik ur spouse is more mature thn u lets him/her decide how to spend it do anything with mutual consideration its beter if none shd do any hency pency with the money :D .

11

Re: Marriage and Finances

When we got married, wife was working and we both had student loans. Other than that, there were some family liabilities.

We entered my name in her account and her name in my account. We mainly used my account to take care of expenses and liabilities and hers as saving account to pay of the debt in one payment (till that we used my account to make monthly payments) ..

its still the same although she is a full time home maker now. Her account is our saving account (we use her checking account as our saving account to stay away from interest) and mine is to run expenses

12

Re: Marriage and Finances

What TLK said :@:

13

Re: Marriage and Finances

I think in those cases there is not shared vision of priorities or not an agreed upon budget and long term plan. If both spouses do the financial planning together, and stick by it there should be no issue. I see it less of a trust and more of a shared strategy and communication of that.

yes one does earn to spend it on oneself and one's comfort, but what that comfort is, and when can vary. are there shared views on where to vacation, how much to save, where to live, what type of house, when to retire, how much to save for kids education. its not terribly tough, but it is also not just concerns with spending.

in our case we have one checking and one savings account, certain amount from each paycheck automatically goes into savings, beyond that all I care about is if and why funds need to be moved from savings to checking. rest is spend as you please.

14

Re: Marriage and Finances

Because begum and I started our lives when we were both dirt poor, we've always pooled our resources. We've had joint accounts from the beginning. I have always done the bills and have always worked with her to come up with shared financial goals and strategies. Our retirement accounts, foreign investment accounts, and land is all in both our names with each other and now our daughter as beneficiaries.

As far as spending on little things here and there, we have an agreement, we can buy any gadget/trinket/bakwaas we want as long as it's under $100 and no more than once or twice a month. Anything above and beyond, we check in with each other. We both keep each other and ourselves in check for 'fuzool kharch'. She has never been a useless spender, once in a while I have to ask her to go on a shopping spree to keep her sanity. These days she takes a lot of joy in going on spending sprees for the little one.

I think complete trust and faith makes this easy for us. Finances and money has been something we have NEVER fought about even once in our 11 years of marriage, alhamdulillah. To us it's strange to see married couples with separate bank accounts, we can't wrap our minds around it.

15

Re: Marriage and Finances

the more interesting point for me is - how much of these financial discussions took place before people got married.

I can see some serious tension if one partner is happy go lucky in terms of spending, personal finance, etc and the other is frugal, a saver, etc and thinks money should be saved religiously and invested appropriately for the future.