So I am interested in knowing, does marital rape occur independent of physical or emotional abuse?
Does it happen that there is a person who does not physically or emotionally abuse a woman but pushes himself on?
I am interested in knowing if you know of anyone in this situation.
The one who changes his jobs every second, need not apply.
Re: Marital Rape and Abuse
So you are thinking Iconclast that “rape” can be accomplished telepathically?..like giving a person the Evil Eye? may be?
and what does changing the job have to do with the subject at hand, please explain?
Re: Marital Rape and Abuse
I’m equally confused by these questions. Rape, by definition, is physical assault therefore abusive. 
Re: Marital Rape and Abuse
The question was, can a person be not physically abusive otherwise, but, only abusive for sex. Bcoz, there is a lot of discussion on the subject. There is a Hadith admonishing a man who is cruel to the spouse and then asks for sex. On the other hand the Ahadith about gratifying a spouse are taken by some as condoning marital rape, hence the question.
Re: Marital Rape and Abuse
Ahh okay! I understand what you mean now. Within the context of a long term partnership, I think overwhelmingly rape is generally accompanied by other forms of abuse yes. They can be obvious (beatings, etc.) or much more insidious (certain forms of control and manipulation that would fall under the category of emotional abuse.) This all stems from a belief of having ownership over someone else and their body (which I personally believe is inherently wrong.) In the Talmud, for instance, it is forbidden to raise a hand to another and the Jewish concept of Shalom Bayit (the concept of harmony within the family unit) is the responsibility of both the wife and husband.
It is my understanding that a wife refusing her husband in Islam (without compelling reasons.. i.e sickness, and perhaps the aforementioned cruelty you spoke of above) would then have to deal with her punishment from God (cursed by angels) as judgement is reserved for God alone. I am not a religious scholar though and I fully admit that I might be getting this spectacularly wrong.
Re: Marital Rape and Abuse
There was another thread on this topic, in case anyone wana take a look:
http://gupshup.org/gs/relationships/634651-marital-rape.html
Re: Marital Rape and Abuse
yes it does occur. there are men who would forcefully do it with the wife even when she is not in the mood.
I would term it as marital rape but the little knowledge i have of Islam, it is an obligation on the wife to meet her husband’s sexual needs whenever he wants it and if she says no(without any valid reason) then the angels curse her. The mood of the wife does not come under"Valid reason" here.
Re: Marital Rape and Abuse
Are all the valid reasons defined?
While I am no defender of any particular religious dogma, I think a lot has been made of Islam sanctioning marital rape, and a group of gullible propagating the same.
It’s one thing to encourage couples to satisfy each other in every aspect, (including sex), and another to act as sex toy.
Re: Marital Rape and Abuse
Valid reasons are defined as " When wife is on her menses and when she is sick/ill".
Besides these reasons, if she refuses then it is counted as a sinful act, although i don’t know if a husband is allowed to enforce himself on her when she refuses. I understand that she is cursed by the angels for refusing but is it advised to the husband to stay patient in this scenario or he can forcefully do it?
Re: Marital Rape and Abuse
I am not a scholar, so I am not sure what are rulings, and I must admit, there are some that don’t seem right to me.
Depression/anxiety is a sickness as well. So are mood disorders.
A lot depends upon interpretations as well. I might interpret without a valid reason as only pertaining to a person who uses sex as a manipulative tool.
Re: Marital Rape and Abuse
This is exactly what I was thinking too.
This may be why the ‘valid reasons’ weren’t mentioned .
Moreover, the entire relationship is based on kindness. There is a hadith which says that the best among men are those who are the best to their wives. So, if a man forcefully does the act, it’ll harm the wife emotionally as well as physically which is the opposite of kindness . I THINK that in itself would be a sin.
The hadith which many use to justify marital rape doesn’t even talk about the husband doing the act. It talks about him going to bed angry and then the angels cursing the wife. There is absolutely nothing which states that the husband can forcefully do it.