“I think he’s dead? If he is: One should always mention the good things what the deceased has done, and cover up his bad habits/deeds”
What do you think?
I think there is a difference badmouthing someone..and being honest.
While I am not comfortable to badmouth someone after his death, however if during a discussion something comes up, do you or do you not state the facts.
case in point, dude rips off a relative..embezzles funds that he was trusted with for his relative’s kid’s education..and then dies. Do you never bring the fact up that this person’s actions had an adverse impact on your wellbeing and had an impact on your lifestyle, educational opportunities and that thsi was a wrong thing?
or do you not say anything and just say “marhoom acchay thaay”
I think there is a difference between to forgive and to forget. You can forgive soemone after they are gone, but surely you cant forget it.
actually sometimes i REALLY feel like i need to say something negative abt certain ppl who have passed away, it could be a huge point in swaying certain discussions my way, but i do always refrain...alhamdulillah i have so far and hope to do so in the future too...
it just seems ... i dono...cruel.. to say something bad abt someone who's passed away
once a person has passed away one should not at any cost say anything negative abt them i reckon...
i dono...something in me just holds me back
i wont even say they were great but if i truly did not like certain things in them that much, i'd say "Allah un kee rooh ko eesaal-e-sawaab aur maghfirat ata farmayay" but i try to refrain from saying negative things, even which r slightly negative...its tough sometimes coz sometimes u really wana say certain things...but i try not to and hope Allah swt helps me maintain this resolve inshallah
i tell myself that if i do lose gaining something in this world by not saying those negative things, Allah swt will reward me ten times over in the afterlife for the patience and self control in refraining from mouthing those things...Allah o Alim
what do u get by telling it to people after the person is dead????
if he is still alive, u can tell people and hope they will help u get the things rectified, but once dead, what do u expect to get in return for telling everyone about how he was so bad????
armughal bhai in those cases there absolutely is no point coz the person has passed away and nothing can be changed and nothing will be gained at all by bringing to light their negative characteristics...
but sometimes there r situations where u could justify ur stance in a past situation or explain the past circumstances, but that would automatically bring to light a deed which might be considered bad of a person who passed away, so u r actually just relating events how they happenned, yet they reveal a negative or maybe too personal side of the deceased...those r the most difficult situations imho
The dead can't speak in their defence... so if you recount their bad deeds, its all one-way traffic. I would suggest a diplomatic silence. Na achay na burray.
okay so when ppl are reading qaseedas in the shaan of someone who did you wrong, i suppose you should just stay quiet.
but in many cases the issues do not die with those who have passed away, and not discussing the real facts behind a situation may mean that the person who was wronged gets screwed over now because he cant say jack :)
What if the situation was not a "secret" but was known. do you just never bring the topic up? or if the topic is brought up, do you just not state the facts?
the point again is not to go on some bandwagon saying that oh this guy was a drunk or oh he beat his wife type of deal. But in recounting some issues that you faced due to the damage caused by this person..the point is not to bash him but the point is to simply discuss events in your life, soem of which had a negative impact by the actions of a certain someone.