Hey! Im new to the forums so hi! I wanted to start a topic about manners. I dont live around any pakistani/muslim ppl so most of my manners are very…westernized. Whats are manners to follow for a pakistani muslim girl. Really interested in knowing since parents arent a real help. Thnx!
Re: Manners
What type of manners are you talking about?
like manners when around other pakistani ppl.
the reason is because mainly that when i go to brn parties or gatherings ive noticed i do things dffrntly...like when a guy looks my way or at me i say salaam and try to be polite buh then ppl arnd me r like stop....
or i eat with frk in left and knife wt right nd i kept getting wrd looks
at 16 i still hang out wit my cuzznz at parties buh then the aunties r like she never sits wit us shes not a child....i need to learn cuz it irritates me when im constantly scolded
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well thats ar rite dont wory just chill
u ll learn with time
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^ i dun think that's a good idea to just let them learn it, esp when someone is asking for advice b/c then they' will just keep making mistakes and some ppl are kinda thick and just won't get it (im talking abt myself here :)).......
sanaz.....once i figure out the thing abt manners ill let u know too.. :D
Re: Manners
Well for starters try to say salam to elders first like aunties and uncles. If you see aunties at a party you might want to say slam first and then go and hang around with your cousins. About young men, well usually its better not to go out of your way to greet them. If they say salam to you you can answer back but don't chit chat with strangers. Its ok with male cousins you know in your family but not usually otherwise. It all depends upon teh type of family you are. Also, don't dress too westernized where there are going to be a lot of desis esp elders.
Regarding the left and right, well in Islam people are supposed to eat with their right ahnds (except ots ok if you are very left handed and can't manage otherwise), so switch the fork to the right.
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manners are very important and the parent should teach it to their child at little ages coz when they grow up their thoughts and behaviour becomes different
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The fact that you question your manners are manners enough.... you are aware of your actions.
If others scold you thats sad, im sure you are not doing anything on purpose, they should try to guide you not tell you off.
Re: Manners
One thing i have learned is women are supposed to be seen not heard. Being loud is a big no no around desi aunties and uncles.
Well for starters try to say salam to elders first like aunties and uncles. If you see aunties at a party you might want to say slam first and then go and hang around with your cousins. About young men, well usually its better not to go out of your way to greet them. If they say salam to you you can answer back but don't chit chat with strangers. Its ok with male cousins you know in your family but not usually otherwise. It all depends upon teh type of family you are. Also, don't dress too westernized where there are going to be a lot of desis esp elders.
Regarding the left and right, well in Islam people are supposed to eat with their right ahnds (except ots ok if you are very left handed and can't manage otherwise), so switch the fork to the right.
Most of the above is good advice. As said before, a lot depends on the kind of social circles you move in. Even in desis there are many very modern folks, and many very desi-fied. So you just have to figure it out and react accordingly.
Re: fork in right thingy, though.... I have seen it both ways. Knife is usually in the right hand anyway if you are cutting (assuming you are right handed). Some people cut the meat in one go, and then drop the knife, move the fork in the right hand and eat. Others just eat with fork in left hand, as they cut the meat with knife in the right hand. I can see some folks objecting to it from a purely nit-picky orthodox definition of Islamic manners, but I don't think its such a big thing that anyone should make an issue out of it. So my advice is to do whatever makes you feel comfortable. You don't have to change on this one thing, just because someone looked at you in a weird way.
ok...so avoid talking to guys....wt abt old uncles that seem to want to talk to you a lot (scary!)
and do you sit with the aunties or no
and whats the deal with random aunties wanting to know everythig abt you and then telling everyone else? plz share anything you know.
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Our desi guys love sharmili girls.. So just incase if u come along one of them.. try to be shy as much as u can.. 
On a serious note.. Be yourself, Jo ho wahi ho kar raho.. (unless if ur western manners are not islamic , then u will need to change)…
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^^ PF yaar kiya ho giya ha … ajj kal tu bari aqal wali batain kerti ho
sanaz007..haha ur questions r soo.. like ur being so maskeen..
Re: Manners
don't look any men directly in the eye, keep your eyes averted, serve tea and biskoots even if it's not your house, you're a girl, you're expected to be the 'waitress'. Also, sit with the aunties and listen to all their back biting and gossiping all the while encouraging them and telling them how hawt they are. If the uncles hit on you, pretend to be flattered and giggle like a happy school girl. See, easy peasy japaneasy!
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what dows maskeen mean lol. So I tried following ur guyzes advice..some of it worked and some of it backfired lool. The say salaam I always did soo lol that went well, so did helping out with serving stuff!! I mean I served the chai and every1 was like thnx...but then I went and helped out the aunty in the kitchen wit stuff and she really appreciated it. But other things..not so gud. Like I mean when guyz started convoing I was like salaam and very very brief, but then afterwards me and my bro were sitting in the car and he was like why were u acting retarded...some guy asked me if we were related and if I was always this mean. I was like :(
so true
don't look any men directly in the eye, keep your eyes averted, serve tea and biskoots even if it's not your house, you're a girl, you're expected to be the 'waitress'. Also, sit with the aunties and listen to all their back biting and gossiping all the while encouraging them and telling them how hawt they are. If the uncles hit on you, pretend to be flattered and giggle like a happy school girl. See, easy peasy japaneasy!
hahahahahhahaha!