Re: Male Goldiggers
An Interesting article on just that...
**For the sake of marriage
By Lubna Khanlid **
We are in the 21st Century, but apart from the passage of time nothing seems to have changed. Parents of girls still face two mammoth problem that are responsible for causing heartburns and hyper tension - lack of suitable proposals and nasty in-laws.
We find a number of female doctors, teachers, engineers and bankers. In addition, our girls are now making their mark as pilots, paratroopers and rangers. Of course women nowadays are independent, thanks to the changing economic scenario, but the 'traditional' mindset that we have been inheriting from our moms when they go 'bahu' hunting remains unchanged.
Most of them want a young tall, fair, and educated girl, preferably an engineer, MBA or a doctor. The girl should be religious and conversant with household chores, especially cooking. She should be meek and submissive, too. All in one complete package! Not much, is it? Notwithstanding the fact that the 'Laad Sahibs' of these females are not, in most instances, on good positions and are not tall, fair or good looking either.
Let's take the case of Sonia. She is highly placed in her organization. Her income is in six digits. Yet she is single. Please don't make the mistake of thinking that she is on the shelf! She is only 29, comfortably 'cuddly' in her words, but otherwise quite attractive. "Most of the moms and sisters of eligible guys who come to look me refused to give me passing marks. I am not fat, just on the healthy side. The only proposals that came my way were of unemployed good-for-nothing guys who wanted my family to set them up. So here I am, still waiting for someone who can think beyond physical attributes and money," she says with a smile.
Farah is a 27-year-old. She is fair, attractive and free from any physical flaw that might disqualify her. She belongs to a respectable family, and is a working girl. Yet her mother is worried as there hasn't been a suitable proposal for her so far.
"Most people who come to see her object to her working. A gentleman related to us has been looking for a suitable girl for his son. When someone asked him to consider Farah, he refused saying that working women do not look after their homes and families."
Ironically, there is another side of the coin, too. Saniya hails from the lower middle class. She is a 25-year-old girl who has done simple graduation, and has a pleasant personality. She has been rejected many times by women who scoff at her 'BA' degree and lack of substantial dowry.
"One of the females had come with her son who was a simple matriculate. This guy works as in a factory as an unskilled labour. His mother first asked my mother if there was a plot of land or apartment in my name. The answer was in the negative. Then she asked if my parents would start her son a 'business'. There also my mother said 'no'. Then that lady cleaned the refreshments in front of her and left."
Boys, too, have now become very demanding. Anis is an engineer. His income is about Rs24, 000. His sister is looking for a suitable girl for him. Anis wants a wife who is either working or about to complete her professional degree. "With my income, I cannot support a wife. I cannot marry a girl unles she is working," he says matter-of-factly.
"Unlike my mother, I don't want a very beautiful wife. I want a partner who can share my problems instead of adding to them," he explains.
Along with time, priorities have now started changing. It just so happens that girls are doing well in their studies and getting good jobs. In this era of recession, when moms and their brats swallow the bitter pill of choosing a not so beautiful, but working girl, they make life hell for her. Working wives are almost always accused of neglecting their homes, their children and their husbands. Safia Fatima is relentless in her criticism of her daughter-in-law. "She just dresses up every morning and goes out to have fun. How can she complain about being tired? She sits in an air conditioned office in front of her computer while I sit at home and cook and look after her children."
Safia's daughter-in-law works at a bank. She returns home at 7 pm, and claims she is tired. The moment she enters the home, her mother-in-law hands her, her infant son and vanishes into her room.
"Before I can freshen up, I have to feed my baby and often changed his soiled diaper. Then I have to prepare the dinner as well. I don't even get a cup of tea before I start my dinner. I cannot complain because at least she takes care of him in my absence. My husband is out of work nowadays and the house is running on my income."
Marriage, if it is to be really successful - and not just a successful compromise - should not be conducted as a business enterprise. Those who only want working women and those who want only housewives should realise that the important thing is that if you like the girl it doesn't matter whether she works or not. Many working girls leave their jobs when they get married, and many non-working girls take up jobs to support their families.
All that You! can say is this: Ladies, get a reality check. We must put behind these traditional stupidities of selecting a chand see dulhan for our brothers and sons. Girls should not be judged merely on their looks, money and degrees. It's their nature, values and upbringing that should be taken into account.
---------------------- * You Magazine, The News, March 3rd, 2009 *
Samajh nahin ati keh behna uncle ji ki surat pe fida hogein thein kia? 
However, the point about male goldiggers is valid too. Unfortunately it seems to be increasing now. It is quite easy to figure them out, if you are vigilant enough and pick up on minor things. People tend to ignore certain things by not giving them enough importance. If you are talking to a goldigger. They subtly and constantly question you on things like “oh acha to jab bla bla jagah pe gayi thein to kaunse outlet gayein thein”. Another thing that i’ve noticed is that they enquire about cars, where you live and numerous other things but in a very sly manner ( poray khandan ki info. lete hain aur aap ko pata bhi nahin chal raha hota keh kiu poch rahe hain).
