Should it bother you when your husband/wife makes vacation plans without considerting your feelings? Offcourse they don’t include you. Its kind of like “hey I am going to XYZ this summer” and offcourse ideally you should be happy for them but it bothers you.
I have heard when you try to change the way you feel, you are setting yourself up for failure. You should only change things in your in control. But in this case nothing is in your control. They are being inconsiderate, you are being selfish.
There is nothing wrong with a spouse wanting to get away from his significant other for a short period of time to hang out with some friends. It's quite healthy for a relationship I would think.
So try not to let it bother you....because when you want to do the same thing you would not want him to be bothered by it would u?
With that said, it is always a good idea to check with your significant other to make sure that there arent any prior commitments that the two of you may have had. I do that with my mom :D
yep , very selfish , inconsiderate , ignorant , cold hearted person will do that. I feel for you.
There are better ways of doing the same thing without hurting the feelings of husband/wife.
For example:
Darling I can afford vacation for one person this year so do you want to go this year and I go next year or I can go this year and you go next year.
Aww man, screw the shared finances, that's down right selfish! Sure it's okay for him to vacation without you, but it is not okay for him to vacation without your consent and blessings.
You're a unit now, there should be harmony and mutual respect!
Every couple is different I guess but I can't ever imagine my husband going alone on a vacation let alone not ask or tell me about it. He's very family oriented so maybe that's why. I think there are couples who don't mind if one goes on vacation alone/with friends. Some people prefer to spend time away from spouse because they need some personal space but I really believe one ought to at least discuss with spouse before making such decisions so s/he doesn't feel left out!
Oh no, its not like he doesn't want me to go and he knows i can't go so thats why i guess he doesnt even bother asking.
This was just an example. I meant making plans in general too.
All this marriage stuff is so complicated :(
The rights and wrongs of it...I never know how/what to feel..or when to express it...
I'm sorry honey, sometimes I feel the same way. Like am I supposed to be mad or not??
My rule of thumb? Be honest with yourself. If something makes you feel uncomfortable then it probably isn't right. If you're okay with it, then stick to your guns!
My fiance and I live in different states, so I am really comfortable with him hanging out with his friends and stuff. However, sometimes I see my friends become possessive with their partners and limit the amount of time they are allowed to spend apart. Those sort of things make me go back and reevaluate my relationship; should I be more possessive? Should there be more limitations?
I finally matured enough to realize that no one can tell you how to approach your relationship. Its useless to compare your arrangement with someone else's. If you and your husband are happy with taking separate trips, then who the heck cares what everyone else thinks!