mai chala

Arts & Culture Poetry ( Intikhaab & Sho'ra-e-Gupshup)
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**Mai chala mai chala

Chalte-chalte suraj dhala

Sanjh hui ruk gaya

Gala mera sukh gaya

Pani piya phir chala

Mai chala mai chala

Chalte-chalte rat hui

Rat hui so gaya

Bhor bhayi uth gaya

Utha kamandal phir chala

Phir chala phir chala

Mai chala mai chala ~ Njuls**

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Re: mai chala

nia diary! you did a good job with the pen but the thoughts need improvement. why don't you build on that and try to refine thoughts.

congrats on a job well-done. :)

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Re: mai chala

Thank you Sir. I tried to write after a long time and definitely need to learn a lot of basic things like arranging ideas, making rhythm, showing idea in simplest way to begin with. I tried to make it as simple as I could but needs a lot of improvement. I tried to show a working class' life comparing with a sanyasi but the poem lacks emotions and structure. I feel I should have tried more on this :)

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Re: mai chala

**Itna chalne se acha tha taxi kr lete :D

Ps : good try**

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Re: mai chala

Taxi wala paise jyada mang raha tha...is mahangaai ke daur me taxi ki asha karna vyarth hai.

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Re: mai chala

I like the rhyming , main chala main chala lol

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Re: mai chala

Mein nay samjha shayed ......koi patakha chala

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Re: mai chala

aur begum bahar aa kar boli..

..

kab se chilla rahi hun..
kambakhat maare..sunai ni de raha?? :mad::mad:

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Re: mai chala

I like that you like the rhyming :flowers:

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Re: mai chala

Aur MIAN nay akhbar paRhtay howay…ankhon say chashma sarkaya…sarsari nigahon say begum ko dekha…aur dobara akhbar paRhny mein mashgool hogya…goya ke begum ke baat unsuni kardi ho…:chai:

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Re: mai chala

aur iss tarah miyaN khud ko bailan se lagi chotoN ke jimmewar khud hi ho gaye..:bummer:

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Re: mai chala

Aur MIAN par is ka koi gehra asar na howa, kyonke wo is khel say ba-khobi waqif tha…albata bailen toot janay say bachon ko raat ko bhoka sona paRa…kyonke ghar mein koi aur bailen na tha…

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Re: mai chala

Miyan ji ko saari raat akele chhat pe bitani padi wo bhi bina kambal ke...khe khe khe

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Re: mai chala

Aur uski khushi ki inteha na rahi...kyonke aj usay begum kay khaRaTon kay bagair sona tha....Aur na janay raat kay kis pehar wo yunhi taray ginta ginta khushi sy so gya

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Re: mai chala

hehehehe

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Re: mai chala

uhh ?? so you only like this that someone likes your rhyming, hmm interesting

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Re: mai chala

I like tea too.