Discuss.
Re: Mahr
search it there are several topic on it already.
Re: Mahr
lol, I was just wondering how diff girls decided upon their Mehr.
Re: Mahr
usually girls don't decide mehar family decides on behalf of them
Re: Mahr
i thought only the groom could decide and family is not to be involved, neither his nor the brides
Re: Mahr
It depends on the family. In some families the parents will totally decide on their own and not even give the bride or groom any say in the matter --which isnt correct, as it is the groom who has to pay it and the bride who will receive it. Its better to leave it for the couple to decide themselves, or at the very minimum, at least give them a say in the matter, consult with them and take into consideration their opinion
For us, our parents left it totally up to us and my husband and I decided it amongst ourselves and then let them know
Re: Mahr
the correct way is for the girl to decided. But in our desi families....girls parens decided and talk to the groom's family...if they are ok with the number thn there is no fuss...if NOT thn there are problems.
for me...i told him how much i think is right, he said he can do that. I told that number to my mom, who thn spoke to his parents as well.
Re: Mahr
So, did ur husband give you your Mehr after marriage?
Re: Mahr
I think its something that needs to be discussed with everyone before hand. The bride, groom, and both their parents should sit together to discuss it. I know someone who on the nikkah day, the brides father told the groom, you have to give my daugher $25,000 (canadian dollars) for mahr, and you have to pay it upfront, or she wont sign the nikkah! This all happened at the bharat, while the guests were sitting in the hall. There was so much aruging, and the bride was quiet the whole time and didnt say anything. After so much aruging, they agreed on $10,000, paid only if they got a divorce. And of course, how could you not get divorced, if your marriage started like this. Sure enough, 6 months later they were separated, and are now divorced!
Re: Mahr
^ such a shame... these kind of things should be discussed before the day of wedding
I think demanding absurd amounts is bad taste. I'm just going to ask for a nominal amount.
Who needs a mehr in the West these days anyway? If you do get divorced then you can go to court.
im sorry but what is a Mahr? i feel really dumb asking but no one ever told me :(
Re: Mahr
Mahr is the gift that a man, Islamically, has to give to the woman. It is usually money, gold or land, and it is decided upon before the Nikkah is signed. Some people give it at the time of the wedding, and others decide to give it only if the couple divorce. But it is something that must be in the Nikkah namaa.
I think its something that needs to be discussed with everyone before hand. The bride, groom, and both their parents should sit together to discuss it. I know someone who on the nikkah day, the brides father told the groom, you have to give my daugher $25,000 (canadian dollars) for mahr, and you have to pay it upfront, or she wont sign the nikkah! This all happened at the bharat, while the guests were sitting in the hall. There was so much aruging, and the bride was quiet the whole time and didnt say anything. After so much aruging, they agreed on $10,000, paid only if they got a divorce. And of course, how could you not get divorced, if your marriage started like this. Sure enough, 6 months later they were separated, and are now divorced!
thats disgraceful how can he do that on the day of the nikah itself with all the guests present? as if the groom can magically make any sum appear out of thin air. thats a stupid amount. was the guy really loaded or something?
Re: Mahr
lovely & worried stories of my nikah
mostly girl's parents ask abt it then groom side will accept or reduce till agreement...if no agreement then no nikah also...
for me,my mahr was so far than husband's family mind...so they couldnt accept..as they were saying our famous rich ppl family also wont request this much & for us 10 times more than my BIL's wife was less than our worker's daughter for her second marriage...
so it was something like gap between earth & sun...
so just i involved, made my MIL & my own Father agreed to write only paid if he will have enough budget cuz my MIL was worried that if may allah forbid anything happen , then by laws his son will be in problem...my father was also agreed as here no one takes mahr rather in divorce time ...
so my issue solved just when we were getting ready to go for nikah in our home to go for that & me & hubby take parents agreement with my solution while mine & his parents wearing dresses in two rooms of our home ....
it was story of my mahr
thats disgraceful how can he do that on the day of the nikah itself with all the guests present? as if the groom can magically make any sum appear out of thin air. thats a stupid amount. was the guy really loaded or something?
the guy was not loaded at all. He was from an average family, and made an average income. But the girls family was well off, and she was the only daughter.
Regardless, I think asking for absurd amounts of money is really in bad taste. It should be a moderate amount, that is not going to put anyone in debt.