The first tip to being happy is to see others with magical eyes and let love glow through you. Look beyond the masks people wear and see the beauty within them.
The problem is once you put on these magical eyes you see what beasts people really are and see their ugliness instead, which in turn makes you real sad. What do we do to get past this in our daily interactions with people and still feel happy…?
For instance, realizing someone is a huge fake, says one thing to you and a different version to others, acts like a friend because you’re good at something and they could use that… etc. etc.
How did you train yourself to not feel down every time you saw through someone…? What do you tell yourself?
I believe i usually get accurate instincts about people and that helps me eliminate the lot that dont deserve my time/empathy. However even that doesnt save you from being disappointed because you can only be that much selective with people as there are diff kinds of people but doesnt make them bad. We should lower our expectations to save us trouble.
Alot of times i feel maybe something is wrong with me because the majority is doing the same thing and that really baffles my mind.
Simplest thing is to do good but don't expect goodness in return. I know its very hard but better to expect it because whether you do or dont that is what usually happens.
I think it's better to have tolerance (to an extent) than to have magical eyes. It's good to be able to see that another person could be potentially harmful....the awareness can prevent you fromg getting hurt. Try to see the good in not having such eyes.
I understand what you mean though. It can be depressing to think that it's hard to find good and sincere friends....and that even family members can be jerks.
It might help to realize that nobody is perfect. For example, let's take the quality of "fakeness." Can you, so confidently, say that you've never been fake in your life? There haven been times when all, if not most of us, have given a fake smile....when we didn't feel like........when we've smiled at a joke we didn't find funny....when we've smiled and made pleasant conversation with people that we don't like....only to vent about them behind their backs later on.......or a fake smile and gratefulness for a gift that someone gave you that you didn't like. Yes, some people are more fake than others. But we've all been fake to some extent.
Human nature is hypocritical. Some people are more so than others. Some are fully aware that they're being hypocritical and don't care. But what I mean by hypocritical is that it's contradictory. You advise someone to be patient and calm.....and then you lose your cool. You tell your kids not to procrastinate when you might do it yourself. You criticize another person for telling a lie........and maybe you had once done the same thing or you end up doing the same in the future. We were not created to be perfect in character......negative traits like jealousy/selfishness/anger/contradiction, etc..........are a part of human nature. These negative traits HAVE to be there.....because they are a part of the "test" that this life is. At the same time we have the potential to be good.....and we strive to improve our character.
Realize that you can't control other people. You do have greater control over how you react to them. Don't have high expectations from others. For example, if you help someone.....do it from the goodness of your heart and seek your reward from Allah.....as opposed to expecting something from the person and getting worked up that they didn't reciprocate at the same level, for example. Or maintain a distance from them....instead of investing too much iemotional energy.
While we're all imperfect....some people make better friends than others. If you KNOW that a "friend" is fake....and is using you....stabbing you behind the back......just end the friendship. Matain a distance. You could try confronting the person (I've seen this work sometimes....and it can also make a bigger mess). Either communicate your concerns or eliminate them.
I believe i usually get accurate instincts about people and that helps me eliminate the lot that dont deserve my time/empathy.
Yes such insight has resulted to be more of a curse for me. I remember a few years back I wouldn't realize when someone was being sarcastic or acting clever - i was much happier being dumb.
true. i'v done a lot of fake stuff... but i know for sure i don't want to do anything to hurt anyone ever - its just not a good feeling... because of which i stay hopeful that at the end of the day i am a good person. I know I do a lot of bad things... everyday... but i am the only one effected by them or at least that's my intention.
But you are right you can't control people and it only makes sense when you think that you are doing it for Allah - i guess if i had a strong enough faith, only that one thought would make me happy.
It is always disappointing when your expectations with your friends or close one's are not met. It's better not to trust or expect people in general, even if they are close to you, to be there for you always. Sometimes they have different motives, other times circumstances unable them to meet your expectations.
It is always disappointing when your expectations with your friends or close one's are not met. It's better not to trust or expect people in general, even if they are close to you, to be there for you always. Sometimes they have different motives, other times circumstances unable them to meet your expectations.
How can you not trust your own friends... if you don't trust them they aren't exactly your friends are they... isn't that a risk you need to take?
but How can you say that you have those magical eyes ??
Because i can see through people... and usu. what I infer about their personalities is verified later through their actions...
Moreover my point here was that to be happy we are advised to have magical eyes to see the inner beauty of people... but only to be disappointed many a times.
Because i can see through people... and usu. what I infer about their personalities is verified later through their actions...
Moreover my point here was that to be happy we are advised to have magical eyes to see the inner beauty of people... but only to be disappointed many a times.
If you want to lead a happy life always concentrate on your own deeds and leave others to care for their.... but mind it, that, if you see something wrong happening then not stopping that is itself a wrong deed.... my point is that you don't need to have those magical eyes , and most of people who claim some thing like that are just lying as you cannot judge any one's intentions.
One should not judge any one else.. "kabhi kabhi aankhon daikha aur kaano suna bi jhoot hota hai" that's why don't be so confident that you can identify good or bad personalities....
and more over you are not here to identify personalities... cheers
If you want to lead a happy life always concentrate on your own deeds and leave others to care for their.... but mind it, that, if you see something wrong happening then not stopping that is itself a wrong deed.... my point is that you don't need to have those magical eyes , and most of people who claim some thing like that are just lying as you cannot judge any one's intentions.
One should not judge any one else.. "kabhi kabhi aankhon daikha aur kaano suna bi jhoot hota hai" that's why don't be so confident that you can identify good or bad personalities....
and more over you are not here to identify personalities... cheers
True but you are taking it to a completely different level. Because you have to deal with such personalities everyday... and their is a difference between being judgmental and cautious... no one likes to be used, no one likes to get hurt, no one likes to be taken advantage of.
I know I am imperfect, very imperfect but... why should i* intentionally* want that others suffer or get hurt because of my deeds (that's where i draw the line). I am a human being - it hurts when i find out what, someone i thought of as a friend, said behind my back. I wouldn't do the same to them, never, but i can't even complain about it...?
I feel what I feel. I get dejected when people don't come up to my expectations. I know that's wrong which is why I've started this thread for ways to counter that depression. But of course what you said can be a comforting thought in such a scenario.