I have a question. Is it really possible for two individuals who were involved romantically for a long period of time to remain friends after things have fizzled between the two? If there was a great deal of emotion and love involved, then would it not make sense to maintain the connection by turning the relationship into a friendship? Realistically speaking though, I rarely see this happen as there are too many emotions involved and disrespect towards one or both parties which blurs ones thinking and rationale in maintaining a friendship.
However, I have a great deal of respect for those couples who have been able to make a friendship work for them. It shows that there is a great deal of mutual respect on both sides and a mutual desire to keep a connection.
Do I make any sense? What do you all think? How many of you have been able to successfully turn your relationships into friendships?
welll. i dont c any problem with being friend.
infact it makes u a better friend. coz u been intimate with other person and u exactly know what r his or her needs.
and as it goes for sexual feelings. well if u move on with next partner other becaomes a distant memory . a memory u cherish but dont want it to happen again
From what I've seen, it never seems to work. There are always feeling lingering.. then your mutual friends are put in a freaky situation. More so then they would be if the two werent talking at all.
I think that a man and a woman previously involved romantically, no matter to what extent, can extremely rarely be true friends. Too many emotions, memories, and “baggage” are involved. Would you honestly want to carry that baggage with you for the duration of the friendship??? Think about it. It’s easier said than done.
Ive been there and Ive tried it and I failed.. It isnt possible.. Like Moona said.. too much extra baggage and old feelings. They somehow keep surfacing up.. I dont think you can be friends with someone youve once loved. Maybe someone of a more resolute character can do it But personally it isnt worth it. It also depends on how you two broke up..
Its highly unlikely. It doesnt work mostly but it depends on mentality and society as well. In american society, they are so keen to move on sometimes that they actually succeed in making friends with thier former lovers or whatevrs. But in our desi mentality and strong feelings for the couple invloved usually its nearly 'mission-impossible'.
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*Originally posted by saby: *
Its highly unlikely. It doesnt work mostly but it depends on mentality and society as well. In american society, they are so keen to move on sometimes that they actually succeed in making friends with thier former lovers or whatevrs. But in our desi mentality and strong feelings for the couple invloved usually its nearly 'mission-impossible'.
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Thats true, in our desi society, I think its virtualy impossible for two lovers to be just friends.
hell .....there is no such thing as impossible ...... i am dooin this kinda thing and i think i am gooin a good job so far......besides some1 who can control his/her emotions for good of other can do wonderz.......
Well easier said than done but when you know you have no other alternative then friendship becomes the next best thing.
No one is sayin you have to forget how you feel...coz you can never stop loving someone...but to control your feelings for the happiness and sanity of the other is the strongest most admirable thing to do.
However there will forever be "hope" in thier hearts...:)
I think it's an individual thing. We are all different, and every relationship is different. Time also makes a difference, bith because of memory and personal maturation.
Talking about extreme situations, I have several friends who are divorced. Only one couple seems to be on talking terms, and I give the credit to the woman. Her husband was seeing other womern and she chucked him out. No questions asked! But she said to me that the choice was one she made for herslf, not her kids. So she maintains a cordial (but not close) relationship with her ex and they take care of the kids very nicely between them. I thinks she's a very definite type of person, and capable of keeping such things cut and dried. I can see them sitting together when the kids get married in 10 years' time.
You know this reminds me of a drama that Prime once showed...it was called...er forgot - I'll look it up.
But the couple had to get a divorce, because the husband was involved in politics and he had not time for his family and I think his family was in danger also, because naturally...well you know how politics in Pakistan is.
However, after the divorce, the two remained friends...but even then the two did have feelings for each other even though the wife knew it wouldn't work out.
I think some people CAN do it, but they're in a minority...and the game is right, most people are probably fakes if they put up that impression. Unless if the fall out is about something not involving the hurting of feelings...like extraneous circumstances...then its not something that happens often.
Like I know some couples who were in love...but they were of different religions, and they knew marriage wouldn't work, so they got married w/other folks..and they're still friends...although I dont know if they've still got feelings for each other.
