Love vs. Parents marzi

Lifestyle Relationships
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Re: Love vs. Parents marzi

I completely disagree with this poster. Perhaps the Punjabi guy isn't the right one for her, but she shouldn't be pressured into accepting someone else just because he's from a "good family". I have met plenty of jokers from "good" families, and plenty of decent people from "bad" families. Plenty of people repent their sins and change for any number of reasons and never return to them. That said, this girl clearly isn't prepared to stand up to her parents and fight for this particular guy.

I am more concerned about the maturity level of the girl. At twenty, having been madly in love twice, she just doesn't seem ready to be married. She needs to focus either on her education, her job, or in trying to create a sense of independence where she can function and support herself outside of her family home, if necessary. Rishtas will come and go, and her parents are wrong to try to pressure her into this. The Prophet (saw) said cleary that a marriage without the consent of the girl is invalid. There are certainly no blessings in such a marriage.

"you look muslim" what does that mean?
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Re: Love vs. Parents marzi

A very harsh view of things.

Just because the guy is from a decent, wealthy family doesn't make him a good husband.

And just because the 20 year old had a dodgy past, it doesn't make him a bad husband...

However though... The fact that the 20 year old isn't ready to get married... Weird situation.

Allah protect us all from forbidden love :D

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Re: Love vs. Parents marzi

I never said that it was ok 4 her parents to push her into somethins she doesn't want, all I said is that in the context of things, with the only two options she has presented infront of her, she should CONSIDER the rishta (I never said say "yes" to him!)

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Re: Love vs. Parents marzi

I think ur friend should read namaaz. Ask allah to do what is right for her and her future. To show her the right path and what will keep her happy....she will see the answer. If her parents choice is not right for her then there will be many obstacles in the way....but if it is right for her inshallah it will take her time but she will be more than happy...

25

Re: Love vs. Parents marzi

first of all i would like to say is if ur friends bf (the one in pakistan) is really committed to ur friend then he must have spoken to the mom buttttttt................... if he is saying that he is too too young then i promise u that he is actually leading her on with something else in mind but then where as they r saying that this khandan is good and rich and wealthy "how sure r they that their dauter will b happy in this house..........money is not everything and yes money can buy alot of material things but it cannot promise someone elses future and ur friend will she be happy will she be able to forget this other guy will she b able to move on and these r the only Q? she can answer to but i must say this much that when parents say that the khandan is nice that means either 1) they r being selfish to the point where they want ppl to c that they have found very high classic ppl or 2) that they really dont care for their daughters happiness and just marry her off for the heck of it cause i have not heard no parent taking a decision so fast on their daughter's future and i must say i just hope they kow what they r doing cause in the long run it's their daughter who will b spending all **
**the time with her new-in-laws ...........i m sending all my best wishes for her and may god bless her and give her the strenght and happiness she deserves and one more thing tell her to weight the pros&cons about this relationship and the guy she is so in love with .................good luck babz....

26

Re: Love vs. Parents marzi

Well well well, I agree with few of people's comments there, totally agree that it is clearly forbidden in Islam to force women into marriage, her parents should read this reference: Narrated Abdullah ibn Abbas: "A virgin came to the Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) and mentioned that her father had married her against her will, so the Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) allowed her to exercise her choice. (Translation of Sunan Abu-Dawud, Marriage (Kitab Al-Nikah), Book 11, Number 2091)"

By saying that does not mean that this girl should forget her parents not understand their point of view, we shouldnt think that her parents are not open minded, they have allowed her in the past (her Ex). This girl should pray to Allah SWT, because in the past she is been mixing too much with other adults and letting her heart make decisions for her, thats why she end up with wrong type of guys. She should be careful. I feel sorry for her too, she seems an innocent girl.

But we should not criticise her parents alone, we don't know about them, we have no idea how much they are in a difficult situation, if any of us have a daughter, think for few moments how would you feel that your daughter likes a guy, that is a scary thought to start with, then I know its easy to say why they don't like Punjabees etc, its our Pakistani culture and I know islamically its wrong, but being honest its not an easy option to have interracial marriages, or a person coming from different culture, got nothing to do with racism though.

I am married to a white girl (so before anyone accuse me of racist)
It is difficult when you are living together for 24 hours, you have to adopt so many things. And we Pakistani dont marry a person we marry full family remember.

God bless her and I think she need to carefully think of the guy who changed for her, well God forgives your sins if you repent from your heart, after committing a sin 70 times a day, so who are we to judge people on their past. God forgive us all, we all have faults, we all do wrong things occasionally, only difference is some people do things openly, some people sin and they never go public.

She needs to be open minded and consider rishta from her parents too, but no one should put time limit (12:00 pm for God sake, do they have to take next flight or something?) its matter of two people's life never make hasty decisions....Good luck Rani with your friend.

I was divorced and I got married again with a revert, but I was strong enough to tell my parents that I want to marry this girl, we never mixed in each other's company though.......but before I asked my parents I checked with a Scholar what if my parents say NO....he clearly told me,,,,,you are supposed to look after your parents if they are old, never say Uoof to them, be obedient to them, but marriage is your matter, you should clearly tell your parents your feelings and then I think PINK mentioned about Istikhara, that is what I did......and amazing things happened, story will be long if I start telling. Because my family tried their best to marry me with so many girls......Allah helped me all the way through without any problems and now I am married since last ten years and I have three beautiful boyssss.....so......Pray to Allah.....Innshallah Allah will help you if you pray sincerely.....

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Re: Love vs. Parents marzi

^^ aww such a sweet story

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Re: Love vs. Parents marzi

all i would say is that with the current scenario it will be a better bet that she forgets her boyfriend and moves on mainly due to a few reasons like the bf is young not yunger then her i mean literally, it will take time b4 he can take responsibility of someone else other then himself, secondly the guy hasnt even told his parents the whole thing so on what basis does your friend expect to call this rishta off or even try to put the bf`s proposal in front of the family. With experience i would say that the guy truly luvs the girl but is helpless at the moment and that wont help, Sometimes in life you just cant think bout urself instead u gotta c wat all is at stake. LIFE IS LONG and time will heal everything. A brotherly advise with experience. KAUN

29

Re: Love vs. Parents marzi

so wot happened with ur frend then?

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Re: Love vs. Parents marzi

:hinna:

May Allah make it easy for her ameen :hinna:

31

Re: Love vs. Parents marzi

This is the worst thing that can happen to a person in love! I feel for your friend. She must make a decision on her own. Time will heal everything (Whether she chooses the Punjabi guy or the new guy)...

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