Seriously, I dont expect everyone to be the same. OK so your parents dont ask such questions, but ask the rishta seeking guys here and 100% of them have been in situations where this question was asked, usually diplomatically. Ke aur kya shughal haiN. Why do you think I am still single? Koi job shob hoti tou shayed meri bhi
Anyway, the question was, will the girls be comfortable by such queries considering that the prospect pays a lot of importance on financial issues and the answers may be a make or break.
If the guy was obsessed with money issues to an extent that made me uncomfortable, i would back up. I mean yes, this suff should be discussed but fianances are not the only focal point of married life. I am not obsessed with money myself and wouldnt want my husband to be thinking abt it all the time either.
On another note, my fiance is still in school and currently not making no big bucks at all. I am still engaged to him Alhamdulillah.
Ira, why do you consider these questions an obsession? Dont you think it is smart that the guy is thinking about such things? trying to find out what he is getting into? To tell you the truth, a credit card loan of 20/ 30K will raise a red flag to me about the spending habits of the woman I am interested in. I may not want a person to earn, but I may want someone who is financially smart and saavy.
ashtray, i am afraid you are misreading my response. I never said talking abt such issues is an obsession. Please re-read my post. I said, “IF the guy talked abt it so much that i thought he was obsessed about it, then i would back off”.
Try not to read what isnt there in the first place. Heck, its so hard trying to explain to a man what you mean. :hinna:
Hi there, I'm a new member, if not the newest. I enjoyed reading this stuff about financial issues, very important and pertinent issues. Unfortunately, these things are not that easy to talk about, that too if you are in a relationship. It shows mistrust, but I personally believe, it should be discussed at some stage to avoid any major blunders later!
yes ashtray the prob begins with money dealings . it may sometimes lead to extremes b/w the 2 partners.. assets and liabilities showing assets that actually are not urs n similarly showing liabilities that are not urs either ( liabilities in the case u want to hoard money from ure partner) leads to over or under estimation of wealth. once u have over or underestimated your partner's wealth ure expectation could be high
then u know better great expectations! DEbt .. u should also be careful that ure partner is not just a spendthrift n only want money from U money history it does not change and remains the same whther u marry a rich or poor person. financial aspirations fun-talk if only it is :) money not spended . basic understanding of money yes it shud spent accordingly division of duties if the women cannot divide equally but she can help like 1/3rd or quarters .. at least something is better than nothing same cheque book it surely saves money .
good luck for ure financial prob :)
That sounds like a very brash and irrational comment. Are you suggesting most desi girls are dumb and stupid and dont understand a thing about finances? Because watever i glanced at in the article, didnt seem like rocket science stuff to me. Thats a surprising comment, coming from you.
lol, he’s a real conservative desi…expecting to take care of me, he would not ask me about those stuff:D…it’s hurting a man’s pride to ask his fiance about how much money she’s got in the bank:halo:
You probly have a job and/or you weren’t born with a silver spoon in your mouth. You would be surprised to know how much rich daddy’s girls know about finances. They get allowances and parents take of the credit card bills. Next you got the girls who don’t want to work or are not allowed to work. You don’t learn much until you’re managing your own bank account. Don’t know about USA, but in Pakistan it’s more the minority rather than the norm.
I completely agree. A lot of kids who grew up in Pak, especially girls, have not had any experience managing money before marriage at all.
I absolutely believe that these questions should be thorougly discussed before marriage. For example, I never imagined before marriage that I would turn over my salary to my FIL, but he insisted on it. I said no, but talking to my husband first would have prevented a lot of fights. I am a big fan of pre-planning and setting limits up front.
It's especially important for couples to find out what their money styles are, for example, is one too spendy, and the other too thrifty, are they both spendy, etc? Also questions like how much the man contributes to his family, what other responsibilities he has, etc. should be ironed out. A lot of young people don't have a lot of money when they first get married, and if his parents are expecting half the salary, this also causes a lot of tension.
dil ki baat zaban tuk ponhchi
