**LOG LOVE MARRIAGE KO ACHA BHI SAMJTE HAI AUR BURA BHI…
PARENTS APNE BACHO KA SAAT KYO NI DETE ES CHOICE MEI…WHY SUCH A BIG DEAL…KISI KO NI PATA HOTA KYA HONA HAI…FUTURE KISI KO NI NAZR ATA…LOVE MARRIAGE MEI BHI DIVORCE HOTA HAI AUR ARRANGED MEI BHI…LOVE MEI BHI DOKHA MILTA HAI ARRANGED MEI BHI …NO ONE CAN PREDICT FUTURE… PARENTS SAY THEY WANT BEST FOR CHILDREN LEKN SHADI KE BHAD KISI KO NI PATA HOTA KYA HONA…
I guess people are in love with the idea of a love marriage, since it seems so fantastical and perfect. You can't really say which is better, it's very subjective.
Even if the guy/girl is of the parents' choosing, the marriage can't take place without your marzi. That said, you are more responsible for the consequences and for making your marriage work...not your parents. I've heard people say this before that at least you can blame your parents if your arranged marriage fails and I find it sick. You don't gain anything from seeing your parents feel guilty and hurt. This "victory" won't bring you relief.
well i guess theres really not many good listners out in the world im not blaming any one nor am i saying all marriages are the same but guess what goes around comes around .....
oh and when i said i was 18 and my cousin was 13 that does not mean i was getting married right there and then .....i would have had to wait until the lil guy was at least 17/18 .....before leaving dumb comments think.....what yr writing!
you say this is an INSANE story well seriuosly you have not lived my life in some way i actually hate the way i have been brought up....
oh just to let u know all parents are not same im SYED!and have been brought up to think Syeds are going straight to Jannat! lol how stupid... and i think that should say it all for my family !
Im lucky to get a husband who taught me my rights and wrongs in Islam i didnt know how to read Namaz i do now Mashallah im learning Quran online... i wear Hijab... and dress Proper
*so please think of good things before bad the positive side of my marriage is atleast im not witha family who make there daughters sell alcohol and haram!
*
i still say ALLAH ka shukr hai IZAT ki roti khaty hu!
All parties are at fault. You for being so naive. Your parents for goading you into a sham marriage and your partner for for taking advantage. With all due respect dont tar every love marriage with the same brush because yours didnt work out. The dynamics of each family and any given situation is different and not uniform the way you wanna believe it is
Typing in all bolded caps makes the reader feel like they are getting yelled at and is typically seen as bad online ettiquette. I'm just sayin....
As far as your story goes, I believe that mistakes can made by all, children and parents alike. But as others have said, your life is what you make of it, and you alone are in control of your own destiny. I don't agree with labeling all love marriages or all arranged marriages the same.
You are an adult married woman with kids and they're safety and well being should be your utmost concern, not throwing yourself a pity party. It sounds like you live outside Pakistan, and if that's true, there should be services and programs you can avail to help you get out of a difficult marriage if that's what you want. Don't let your estranged relationship with your parents dictate your choices.
Sara, I think she feels trapped because her choice to marry for love left her with no support from her family, they abandoned her, and now she feels stuck because her husband has her isolated. I would suggest you reach out and get help from professionals in your case and with or without your family you deserve to feel safe. I wish you the best.
Unfortunately we still have backward thinking desis. My advice is to just be careful when u chose someone ur self. Choose a person that ur family will like and also make sure u dont make it public and stuff. Don't date, don't talk on facebook, etc.....
I understand what you're saying ^ But I do also understand how it is to be completely alone and desperate for someone to come and help. The truth is, no one knows your situation better than you and in the end.............only YOU can help yourself OP. Your parents probably don't know or understand what you're up against and unless you take a stand for yourself - they probably won't step in. Not because they're bad parents but just because they don't want to be blamed for anything that might go wrong later on. One more thing...you're not at the mercy of any man or woman - no one ever is. Its all in your head. Koi aap pe zulm nahin karsakta unless aap usko karne dein.
Its all because of a dumb idea that marriage completes your life . . . which is totally false . You need to complete your life as it is , and then get married . Otherwise you'll always be incomplete and people will take advantage of you .
Its all because of a dumb idea that marriage completes your life . . . which is totally false . You need to complete your life as it is , and then get married . Otherwise you'll always be incomplete and people will take advantage of you .
We really need to teach this philosophy more in our communities especially to the younger girls. Marriage is not an end-all, be-all to life.
If Zara understood that, she'd break free from an oppressive family situation and potentially a forced-marriage by moving out, working hard and ensuring she got out of life what she wanted best. Not jump from the frying pan into the fire.
She was 18 and her to be was 13. Completely believable.
Why are we falling for these sort of stories. No parent in their sane mind would want their daughter to be married to a 13 year old boy in this generation. I think this thread needs to be locked and moved to the stories section if GS has one.
