Having read threads about Romeo-Juliet type love stories, or stories where one partner is using the other, it makes me wonder about individuals who A) go into a relationship that appears doomed at the outset or B) stay in a relationship that brings them nothing but grief.
So, I must ask - do you or can you choose to fall in love or is it an emotion outside of one’s control and thus a compulsion that cannot be controlled or stopped? 
Re: Love - choice or compulsion?
I think people mix love with infatuation, lust, other hormonal stuff. I don't think you choose to fall in love but there are a few factors that go along with it. Once you fall with someone its mostly infatuation that is based on looks and other superficial stuff but falling in love takes a bit more time and things other than that where you get to know a person and a bit about them and what they are like and their qualities and their faults. Most of the time its just companionship and the fact that you have spend so much time and energy in that relationship that you just want to make it work instead of looking at it objectively and see what it is really about.
Re: Love - choice or compulsion?
Each individual and each relationship is different. It depends on the type of person one is. If they are dependent on relationships, they may stick to one because they'd rather be in one than be alone, no matter how destructive it is.
Love is another animal completely. For the most part I don't think we can control it. I think if one feels they shouldn't get involved with someone for whatever reason, but have a feeling that they may fall in love with them, it's better to keep your distance or cut it off before it progresses to a point of no return.
Re: Love - choice or compulsion?
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So, I must ask - do you or can you choose to fall in love or is it** an emotion outside of one's control and thus a compulsion that cannot be controlled or stopped? :hmmm**:
That.
Re: Love - choice or compulsion?
I believe its a choice when people get into the 'relationship' because they have been conditioned by the environment to 'supposedly' fall in love..
and those who do..and find it compulsive and out of control are people with weak nerves and lapse of mental capacity..
Re: Love - choice or compulsion?
**I believe its a choice when people get into the 'relationship' because they have been conditioned by the environment to 'supposedly' fall in love..
**and those who do..and find it compulsive and out of control are people with weak nerves and lapse of mental capacity..
thats right ...........
Re: Love - choice or compulsion?
There is no compulsion in emotions, there is always an alternate way, although we may not want it or like it
Re: Love - choice or compulsion?
Love can be controlled by cold shower of reality. Happens all the time that a fool backs off when given reality check.
Re: Love - choice or compulsion?
Love takes time to build, it is not something that happens overnight. The more one chooses to spend time with someone (in whatever shape or form that may be) the more attracted one gets. Spending time together is a voluntary act/decision. Ergo you choose to fall in love.
Re: Love - choice or compulsion?
I think you can curb it or squash it if you know you're on the wrong path.
Re: Love - choice or compulsion?
Love doesn't exist
Re: Love - choice or compulsion?
Love exists, but like someone mentioned it takes a lotttt of time to build unless it's like love for your child, mother, or sister etc. But falling in love with someone, nah that takes a while, especially if it's online. You can like the way someone looks, talks etc, you can think about them or care about them, but that unconditional, real love feeling doesn't develop till much after. Also when feelings are involved, your mind creates this perfect image of the person you love, and you refuse to accept anything against that so called person, that's why many people ignore warnings, and continue their relationship, and later on face the consequences. I 100% agree with the statement, Love is Blind!
Sometimes people go into a relationship they know won't work because they want the attention or they blindly believe what their significant other tells them, and basically become trapped. Another reason is because they find someone on rebound and choose to use that so called person to "move on" or make their ex's jealous etc.
And those who choose to stay in a relationship that brings them grief is because they become so used to that person, the way things are, and they think maybe they can bring about a positive change, so they continuously try and make efforts for such change. Or they stay in such relationships because of society's nazar, and the fact they don't want family/friends getting affected by a break up/divorce.
Love is an uncontrollable emotion that can't be stopped when you think with your heart and emotions, but when you THINK with a clear head and reason your current situation out, it can be stopped, hence why relationships end at times.
The goal is, use your brain, and choose wisely who you want to spend your life with.
I've realized when you spend time enough time with someone, and they're nice and caring towards you, you automatically start liking them, and I guess that's why arranged marriages work, because families properly think the rishta through, evaluate the family and the guy/girl (which is very important)
Re: Love - choice or compulsion?
Love is like when you are alone and get bored with TV, internet, Gupshup and Facebook etc and are really in a mood to meet someone.
Re: Love - choice or compulsion?
preventing yourself from falling in love with somebody can be done, so there is no compulsion,
it's more being in love rather than 'falling' in love, it's a choice we make as long as we're thinking clearly and we're not emotionally messed up at that point.
Re: Love - choice or compulsion?
I don't know why but a part of me really thinks its a choice
Re: Love - choice or compulsion?
cow dung..
Re: Love - choice or compulsion?
Infatuation is a compulsion, love is a choice.