Re: LOVE AND RELATIONS
move on bud
Re: LOVE AND RELATIONS
^^ YEP. women are a-dime-a-dozen. You'll find another one.
Re: LOVE AND RELATIONS
even then it did not work for him 
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Niyal...lol thats not nice...but on a level Sunyay change that nickname she gave you...and stop making yourself grieve over it...
If you dont want to be hurt over it then you wont be...make an added effort to move on and you'll forget about it soon enough...and dont turn into a cynic...there are plenty of *****es in the world but there are also good people in the world...
One more thing...always learn from every experience...and now that shes gone...focus on yourself and what you did wrong...cois its never as black and white as she was a ***** to me...so focus on what you did and work on changing yourself aswell...
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haha its about time you realize that women are not quite as sensitive as they are made out to be,infact they can be quite evil!.just watch out for the gold diggers and the types who are looking to get rich through marriage.and learn to be stubborn and strong, you don't get anywhere in life until you become that...I am sure you can find someone else very soon and put all of this behind you
Re: LOVE AND RELATIONS
One thing though..im being all sympathetic to your plight...but grow some balls man and stop crying...its boys like yourself that will be taken advantage of by girls cos you will do anything for them and dont expect anything from them...mate be a man and then trust me women will respect you a lot more...
Re: LOVE AND RELATIONS
NBN he wouldn't stop dogging around
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.
Re: LOVE AND RELATIONS
[QUOTE]
“ASSALM O ALAIKUM
This is my first visit to the forum and I have opened a new thread. I have been hurt badly by someone I loved very dearly and funny thing is I still love her, may be its my stupid nature .
You all must be wondering why the name SUNYAY, she used to call me that and now I have been dumped as if I never existed. How can someone do that? Is love and relation, all about money? Because if it is then we should give it a different name, anything with monetary meanings, like "Stock Exchange" only in reverse, "Buy it when dear, sell when cheap".
Any comments? Please do enlighten me.”
[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE]
“You guys are correct to some extent, partially my fault. But she knew all along my situation and that I did something good for her. She was ready to elope with me because we are of different sects but I did not had the oddesity to hurt her parents, specially her dad, who loved her dearly. I knew it was coming and she will leave me one day but the way she has done was nothing near to what I expected at all. Sometimes, I feel that I was wrong, I should have given a damn about others and should have done when she was willing and ready.
My whole point now is I should have been respected for not doing any kind of evil, not punished. I know some of you may not believe me at all but thats how I am, stupidly caring for others.
The reason for my coming to this forum and writing all this is, may be someday she get to see all this and know how hurt I am, to a verge where I thought of commiting suicide but my love for her + all the pain of losing her are not enough powerful to do something I can never be forgiven for and also may be someday she need me.
Wherever you are PV, I wanna let you know that there is not a single moment without you in my thoughts. Nothing can ever overcome this pain of loss and the most merry moments of my life when I was with you. But I guess you are too busy in your new life to look back. But rest assure I will be there, where you have left me till I die, thinking of you and waiting for you. ”
[/QUOTE]
Assalam Sunyay,
The unfortunate situation that you are experiencing, whose effect may scar the rest of your life if you continue in such a hopeless state, was not only felt by you to the exclusion of others.
You must observe high resolve and steadfastness in the face of tribulation and trial, fear Allah the Most High and seek refuge in Him alone from Satan the accursed, for it is he, the rejected one, who is whispering these false pretensions in your heart concerning the fantasy and false desire that you might see her again, and that she might still have the same feelings for you which she used to have in your most enjoyable times together.
Your state of being has fell prey to a very dangerous evil, which may engulf your happiness, indeed your very life itself. You must cut yourself asunder from this dream that she will come back, neither should you continue to feel deep sentiments for her, because they will become imprinted upon your heart, whose hurt and pain would know no ailment.
I sincerely apologize if I am sounding harsh or stone hearted, yet this is what you must do to rescue yourself from the bondage of an old memory, whose shackles will increase in restricting you from carrying out and fulfilling the life which Allah has created you for. Allah has not created you for that woman who stole your heart, you are basically venerating this woman to the point of worship and devotion the caliber of which should only be found in the love of your Lord, the Only True Friend and Beloved of ones life. You must gather your remaining strength and focus it upon eradicating this girl from not only the deepest depths of your memories, but also from the deepest chambers of your heart. Forget about her completely and entirely and Insha-Allah her memory will slowly but surely fade away as if you never felt any emotion for her. You must triumph over the passion of your heart and you must arise victorious over the false and destructive fantasies that have arisen in your mind and heart.
I understand what kind of a guy you are Sunyay. You effort in every possible way and implore every possible means in the way of pleasing the one you love, because her thought has enamored your being and captivated it to a degree which knows no liberation or deliverance. Your whole hearted sincerity in offering your love for her is genuine and rooted deep within the bosom of your transcendent sentiments, and your efforts in winning her heart are reflections of this unfelt, unheard, and rare feeling of tranquility and bliss. Yet as perfect as she must seem you must remember the pain that she has caused you, and although it was not her intention to make you feel so depressed, you must annihilate the fond memory of her which resides in the chest of your emotions, or else this thought of her will consume every rational and logical thought that your brain has been given and will engulf your life into a state of continuous and increased degree of longing and yearning after her, even though she is simply just a woman.
You must remember that she is not a supreme being who is god or who is even in touch with god, and so you must see it in this perspective that she is just another pretty face, another heart breaker who had her way with you and then threw you away upon facing the smallest degree of trouble in the name of love. Why should you grieve over her absence in your life, you should be celebrating your liberation from the slavery which you chained yourself into. There are too many people in the world for you to hold this lost girl dear to your heart in the sense that she alone has your love and this love will never be experienced again with another person. That’s not true. This is the machination by which Satan works, who is meddling with your feelings and train of thought only because you are allowing him to. Therefore dispel him from your life and accept the invitation of love that God has to offer, whose bounty and grace are truly greater that that of any woman. If you believe and trust in God and complain only to Him in humility sincerity and in a state of hope and fear, He will indeed rush to your rescue, as long as you have strived to consume her memory.
True you should not hate her, because she did not intend upon creating such disturbance in your life, but I do say that for the sake of your happiness, well being and advancement in life you must forget and destroy every fond feeling that you hold for her, because it jeopardizes your success and ultimate good in this transitory world as well as the guarantee of paradise in the next.
Be strong and ensure God that your love was always and ever will be for Him alone, because he is the one who bestows a wife upon you, and He is the One who grants gifts to whomsoever He pleases, and takes away from whomsoever He pleases. Do not be on that end of God’s list who are given a good life, yet despair of it because of one inconvenience, because of one unsuccessful event, rather stand firm in this fire of trial and show that you are the strong one, and are loyal only to God and God alone, who is the sole Beloved One.
It is strange how men are infatuated by women who are the cause of their most hurtful pains, yet they completely disregard the One Who granted them and continues to grant them provision in all matters of life. Remember that He sees all that you do and that you prefer someone over Him, which is the cause of His jealousy and arouses His wrath upon such men.
This is why I tell you in harsh words to move on and forget her, before her memory bars your pathway to paradise, before her memory bars God’s bestowal of another more beautiful and worthy companion, before God Himself leaves you because of your preference for another beloved, let alone one who hurt you.
Insha-Allah you will overcome this great battle which is fought and won only by those who are help themselves and receive help in return from the Source of all Strength, i.e. Allah. I know it is hard and very painful, but brother you must pull yourself together and you must dawn upon the realization that she was just a past experience, whose journey taught you never hold another being or thing higher in your estimation than God. This was surely a trial by Allah, which you must arise victorious for the sake of your ultimate success here and hereafter.
If you don’t find yourself now, you will never have the ability to find another later. You are too meek and courteous a man to be groveling over a lost and false love, your sincerity, high degree of compassion, love, and efforts will be appreciated by one who is more worthy to have you. You are too valuable a person to give freely and await hopelessly for this girl who hurt you.
She will know and she will miss you and will herself become engrossed in longing after you, if she has a heart, if not she has already forgotten you, and you must pass through a rebirth and kill your passions for her nevertheless, because your life is too precious to be given away to a girl who is ungrateful.
Allah is the Bestower and not this girl, Allah is the source of love and not this girl, Allah loves you but you love this girl, Allah calls you but you turn away in remembrance of this girl, she was a trial and a tribulation whose test was from Allah for your benefit, not for your destruction.
The Holy Prophet (saw) is reported to have said:
“the greatest trial that I and every prophet has left his Ummah is a woman.”
This was the warning of the Prophet (saw), be sure that you love him more than any ordinary woman, be sure that he is far more deserving of you love than anyone who hurt you, other wise he will not intercede for you on the Day of Judgment if you continue to pile your sins by remembering her as you should remember Allah.
Allah bless you and be with you always,
Salaam.
Re: LOVE AND RELATIONS
Always remember to continually engross yourself in supplication of this prayer in verse 75 ofSurah Al-Furqan:
"O our Lord, grant us of our wives and our children a delight of our eyes and make us a model and leader for the righteous."
Also ask Allah for guidance regarding this affaif of yours in the words of the Ahsabul Kahf:
"Our or Lord bestow on us mercy from thyself and furnish us with the right guidance in our affair." Ch. 18 first raku
And the prayer of Moses (as) when he observed every possible effort and prayed to God to help him the rest of the way:
"O my Lord, a begger I am of whatever good you have to bestow upon me." (28:25)
May Allah guide you araight in this hard journey of yours.
Wassalam
Re: LOVE AND RELATIONS
what we do we expect a lot whom we love that ,s why we became hurt i do agree with this sentence
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Cool dudette! 
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By nature, women are extremely practical if they are in sane state. The security and well being of her future family is an important consideration in love for her: sometimes intentionally and sometimes unintentionally.
Re: LOVE AND RELATIONS
Stop..crying.....and being sad..just move on with your life..
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Re: LOVE AND RELATIONS
hmmm i probably shouldn't say this---
but i will anyway :D
SHE was willing to marry you, you weren't -- so why are you blaming her for leaving you?? she was willing to make the commitment and might i add take a big risk and likely incurring the anger of her family and you backed out, what was she supposed to do stick around hoping you would change your mind
i think she did the right thing!!
Re: LOVE AND RELATIONS
Hi all,
Thnx for the responses, these are all heart-felt. I have been trying to forget her not because she doesn't deserve me or something is evil about her but to be happy and positive. Alas, all my effort go down the drain the moment I shut my eyes; there is she is standing and smiling at me with all the luv in her eyes. Believe you me guys/guls I have never seen her doing anything different, every time (that is, every time I sleep) she is in my dreams, I go back in the memory lane and forget all the promises I made to myself. She had her birthday on 29 Aug, and this is the first time in 10 years I could not wish her, although I had her phone numbers, she did not pick up the fone, she knew it was me trying frantcally to get to her.
I cannot picture her, no matter how hard I try even anything close to Heartbreaker, she has embossed her pure and true luv so deeply that scratching it away mean tearing off all the flash to the bone and then I am not sure if my bones have engraving all over them. Some ppl have been telling me to forget and move along and I am pretty sure they dont mean no harm to me but that is only prescription with no instruction how to use it, because for me there seems to be no way at all. Any thing I see eye-catching, next thing she is there, wearing that dress, jewellery, hair style, glasses etc etc.
Guys, 10 years of my life revolves around her and her alone now when she is the part of me, I dont know how can I separate her from me. I did hear stories of true luv and never believed that such thing exist b'cause I never had one I guess but I know now how it felt and I can pray for all of you out there, that none of you will ever get infected.
I am no one to give stereo-type resolution that all women are like that, one as I still dont believe that she has left me, every passing day I feel she would come bak for good any time now. Only thing I know is that I LOVE HER as I always loved her and no matter what people say about her I would keep on doing so, may be this is my fate for the rest of my life.
Better-luv wishes for all of u