well i have this friend and..recently some guy told her that he was falling in love with her…and started having feelings for her…
but she said to the guy that “i dnt hve the same feelings for u, i love u but as a friend and nothin more”…i mean i think shes stupid…a guy telling her that he geniuely loves her and is falling in love with her… she says No…the guys probably heart broken, he still talks to her, emails her txts her…and she does the same however i think the guy is only doin this so that maybe in the end she will eventually fall in love with him …too…
now my friend is the ziddi type and sometimes she does see the things that r rite in front of her…
i mean come on how many of us guys…dream abt a guy coming up to us and telling us that he loves us…and this happens to her …and she rejects him in a way…
so question i am asking is has this happened to any of u girls???..that a guy u know comes up 2 u and tells u that he loves u?..and guys have u ever done this that u hve told a girl that u love her and she has given u this answer or completely rejected u …?>…theres no need to be ashamed but ur contriubution wud be most helpful…
She’s being honest with him. If she doesn’t have any romantic feelings for him, it would be wrong for her to mislead him and say that she does. You may think she is stupid, but leading him on and letting him think that he has a chance when he really doesn’t would be even worse. Maybe she will eventually fall in love with him … you just don’t know that she would. It’s always better to be honest in such situations.
If he is still saying that he loves her all the time and she doesn’t feel the same way, then perhaps your friend needs to step away from this friendship so that he gets the message loud and clear.
stick to the topic furqan, no flirting :D
SB, i've been in ur friend's position, where one of my friend said the same thing to me, but since we had been friends for a long time he completely understood when i said that i only saw him as a friend, and we are still friends(actually i'm trying to hook him up with this other friend of mine :) ). Love can't be one way, if you don't love someone you shouldn't be with them just because they love you.
OK, I know this is going to sound rude but to me, this comes across as being VERY immature of you to think like that. I don’t know how good of friends you are with this girl but for you to say that you think she’s “stupid” for not liking this guy is very judgemental and immature.
If she does not have any romantic feelings for him, if she only likes this guy as a friend, what’s wrong with that? You want her to force herself into liking him? Is he the only good guy available in the area you live at? You seem to think that if a guy comes up to a girl and tells her that he “loves” her, then she’s automatically supposed to “love” him back, and if she doesn’t, there’s something wrong with her.
And yes, for the record, this has happened to me numerous times, and I’m sure this has happened to quite a few girls on this board. I’ve had a few guys tell me that they like me over the years, but my response to them was the same as your friend’s response, that I liked these guys just as friends. And over the years, some of guys have become very good friends of mine b/c they were mature enough to move past that.
Your friend clearly told this guy that she only likes him as a friend. Now instead of moving on and accepting reality, if this guy is being friends with her thinking that she’ll change her mind, and gets his hopes up, then ends up getting hurt when she doesn’t change her mind, the guy has no one to blame but himself.
Just because someone professes to having feeling for you doesn;t mean u r obliged to reciprocrate the same feelings. Maybe he just isn;t what ur friend wants. If the guy still wants to stick around its at his own risk, ur friend is not to be blamed. Maybe she will end up liking him, who knows but it ould be silly for the guy to hold his breath for it.
As for ur question, I guess it has happened a few times. It wouldn;t be fair to me or the guy if I married him just cos he had feelings for me where I didn;t even have an ounce.
When I was in highschool I was sort of seeing this guy. It was very innocent. We were more like friends and hung out in a group. But I had a little crush on him and I knew he liked me. Well he wrote me a letter that was read by my friend first. He wrote stuff too embarassing to recall but basically the I love you was there. It came from out of nowhere. I was confused. My friend was cynical and said he barely knows me. So we thought there must be ulterior motives on his part and did not believe what he wrote. Everything changed after that. We were friends for only a short period of time after that. I started to distance myself from him and that group of friends.
I wasn't worried that i'd 'break his heart' because it wasn't his heart that was speaking in the letter. I had no intention of screwing up my life just for the sake of keeping up some illusion. Then in University this happened again a couple times. Crazy goray boys. For some reason when you tell them you're Muslim and you can't date they think it's a challenge. One guy concluded that I was gay because he was trying really hard and I gave him zero response. Not just zero, I was trying to scare him away. So in conclusion when a guys says "I love you" don't believe it. Actions speak louder than words. Some guys will say anything they can to get what they want.
But then I met my husband and I believed him when he said those words to me.
I really don't understand how some guys stay friends with a girl after rejection. I would not want to see the girl again. Not because I would hate her for rejecting me but just bc it wouldn't make sense. But I have never been put in the situation so I may be wrong.
perhaps he wasn’t lying? what if this person actually had genuine love for you? and the guts to tell u in the most direct terms? it’s true that some guys will say “I love you” just to get you into bed, and then dump you. But don’t tar everyone with the same brush. It’s difficult to define what true love is, but sexuality is what energises love. Don’t tell me a guy in love is not supposed to get sexually excited. I think your theology has somewhat corrupted your notions of what love is.
Who knows… sometimes the person’s friendship is more valuable and you’d rather be content with just their friendship and keep them in ur life and other times, u feel if u can’t have 100 percent of them then ur better off without that perosn in ur life… :halo:
I highly doubt that it was true. First he was only 18. Also I didn’t know him very long and we didn’t really talk all that much. So we really didn’t know eachother very well. I don’t think true love can just happen like that. You said sexuality is what energises love. So you think that love is based on sexual attraction? I would hope that love is something deeper, built on a foundation of friendship, trust and loyalty. I think it’s something that builds overtime. It’s not something that just poof magically happens one day.
What she's doing is right, she's telling him her true feelings from the beginning so their can be no confusions there. Your heart is something that can't be controlled, it's not your fault if you don't love a person. You can't just switch it on like with a button!
But it is very creepy indeed that he keeps saying he loves her every time even though she has said she doesn't love him! If he doesn't stop that, she should stop that friendship immediately, you never know what happens. I guess this is one of the reasons why friendships between males and females is dangerous.
That's a brave thing to do...tell someone how you feel, however you shoudl accept the person honesty and their reply...you asked they said no...end of story, and if you wanna stay friends then great..but dont have any expectations and don't keep up at the "i love you" crap
FG...what if you've been friends with the girl for years..would you end a friendship too?
I have been in this situation and trust me it can become really depressing at times. My friend once confessed that he loved me and i told him right away that i ONLY like him as a friend and that its not possible for me to think of him *that *way. After 4 years, he is still there and i feel so bad that i can't do anything to make him feel better. U cant force urself to love someone just bcoz he/she loves u. I once stopped talking to him cuz he wasn't getting my point and now he's back promising that he wont ever talk about that and that he wants to stay friends with me. I think in ur friend's case, she did the right thing that she told him what she felt...its better to tell the truth rather than giving someone a hope that u know will never be fulfilled.
