I’ve always heard elders say that “Nikkah ke baad Allah khud hi dil mein ek dusra ke liye pyaar daltein hain” (After nikkah, Allah swt puts love in the hearts of a couple through His own mercy)
Has anyone felt that to be true?
Re: Love after Nikkah
I have seen many people madly in love before marriage and after Nikah, love starts to disappear.
Re: Love after Nikkah
I would have to agree with Bobby. Two things can happen, either love can start to fade - people can start to argue, fight, suddenly realise they’re not compatible etc. OR I have seen people falling for their spouses even more after Nikkah. IN my family, there is no such thing as engagement as that’s not Islamic. We do baat pakki and then Nikkah. Then wait a bit if we have to for Rukhsati. All my cousins have fallen madly in love for their SOs after Nikkah.
Re: Love after Nikkah
Engaged for 9 months before nikah and definitely things changed for the better. I think we became kind to each other and less critical.
Re: Love after Nikkah
Kind after the engagment or nikkah? Were you guys allowed to talk during engagement?
Re: Love after Nikkah
Yes, we discussed a lot of practical things like planning for the future, our hajj together etc but we weren’t buddy buddy. Very polite and straightforward like you would be with a colleague. Post nikkah/rukhsati we started dating properly. Once we got comfortable with each other we did realise we are both fairly critical and we had dumb arguments over small things but I think you start dropping issues and start being more compassionate the more fond you get of each other. Not always the case, I know, but it happened naturally for us because we both know we’re trying as best as we can. If either one of us was slacking or being rude I think we would have combusted.
Re: Love after Nikkah
It’s a gamble. I don’t believe in gambles.
Re: Love after Nikkah
It is always a gamble, my Russian friend decided to get married after 20 yr of living together and now they fight all the time.
Re: Love after Nikkah
was your marriage arranged ? mutual trust and respect is a blessing.
Re: Love after Nikkah
Life is a gamble. Something can always go wrong. ok at least most of the time something can go wrong. You could be crossing the street and get hit by a bus. That’s why I guess you’d look both ways before doing so. wait to see its safe and then cross…but even then the risk remains that someone wont follow the rules and you’d get hit by a bus. We should do our best always in every situation but the truth is everything has its risks and nothing really guarantees anything. might be a stupid thing to say but you cant fight fate. you can only do your best, weigh all the pros and cons and then make a rational decision.
Re: Love after Nikkah
Arranged. And trust and respect has to be built from scratch. It takes time and a lot of trial and error. We’ve had 5 days of angry silence over a wet towel if you can believe that and sometimes you want to keep fighting for what you believe in but at the end of the day you got to choose your battles.
Re: Love after Nikkah
lol. if you like each other i guess it helps…it would be difficult to tolerate someone you dont even like right? 