Eventually we all do get married. Do you think an affair, serious or not, affects person’s personality after marriage? Does one becomes open minded if he/she had an affair before getting married because I have witnessed that in west things like past relationships, marriage and even kids are not issues like they are in the East.
Re: Love Affairs
*Wrong. it does. Every person you come in contact with influence you in some way. In some cases, the influence can be negligeble like you remember something meaningless about them. But then sometimes, you get acquainted with new ideas and its becomes hard to go back to your real-self.
*
You learn from all relationships. If your relationships with others are successful, then you learn what ingredients made that relationship so strong. If your relationships are weak/dysfunctional, then you learn what traits caused the relationship to become unhealthy.
I think you learn from relationships of all kinds in general. Even the lessons that you have learned in your close friendships with others.......can be implemented in your marriage to make it stronger.
I have some friends who felt that they learned the true meaning of love only after they got married. They felt that their previous affairs were in fact just strong infatuations, which they wrongly believed had to do with love. I even know people who met, became friends, fell in love......got married....and have a successful marriage, MashaAllah, because they continue to do what made their relationship a success in the first place.
The interesting thing is that with time people evolve and therefore relationships evolve. Your past relationships taught you important lessons......but you also continue learning new things about your relationship with your spouse and improvise along the way as the marriage evolves.
Re: Love Affairs
agar musalmaan mein rattti barabar imaan ho aur aadmi mein insaaniyat ho to affair karey kiyon ...chaaey pehley ho ya baad mein ...
Re: Love Affairs
Past relationships affect you big-time. Whoever says otherwise either hasn't been in one or was sleeping throughout the whole relationship.
Sometimes the affect is positive and other times negative. It all depends - and think of past relationships like any other experience in life, it changes you. Every interaction and every experience in life teaches you something and moulds you, that's how you become the way you are.
Re: Love Affairs
fbi786, well said :D
Re: Love Affairs
The question asked is does it affect after marriage in terms of change in mind?
Answer is yes.
Those who are adamant on no affair before marriage or are not considerate of prior acts of their spouse may not have had good love affair before marriage.
Affair after marriage is not in question as far I read the first post.
agar musalmaan mein rattti barabar imaan ho aur aadmi mein insaaniyat ho to affair karey kiyon ...chaaey pehley ho ya baad mein ...
Zabardast.
Agar buchchon ko pehlay say pata ho aur samjha dia jaay to aisay chakkar main kabhi na parain.
Masha Allah to your soach.
Is tarha kay kamon main wohi partay hain jinko pata naheen hota parents pehlay say buchchon ko yay batain samjhatay naheen.
Parents ko chahyay apnay buchchon ko waqt say pehlay samjhain kay yay Islam main mana hai gunah hai wo yaqeenun is say parhaiz karain gay.
Buchpun say brain wash kar dain buchchon ka.
Haan ji her relation ko bohat asar parta hai jub hum ussay ahmiat detay hain aur jitna detay hain utna asar parta hai. Baaz dafa to kisi rah chaltay ka bhi koi amal aur koi undaaz bhi asar chor jata hai ya waqti ya hamaysha kay liaay.
Ta dum e hayat her relation ka asar parta hai us say talluq kitna gahra tha ya raha depend wohi aap kay ahmiat denay pay hai. Aap nain ahmiat naheen dia aur bhula dia to phir asar naheen parta.
Kabhi kabhi kisi ko koi aik achcha jumla, undaaz ya baat bhi hamaisha kay liaay asar chor jati hai. Baaz dafa to hamaray sochnay ka undaz aur dhang aur tareeqa e kaar bhi badal deti hai.
Jub baat shadi say pehlay love ki ati hai agar aap nain suchchi mohabbat ki hai kisi say to us kay to baytahasha asraat partay hain aap par aur uski wajah say spouse kay sath slook pay bhi.
Jo spouse kisi ki shadid mohabbat main giraaftar hotay hain shadi say pehlay aur kisi bhi wajah say unki shadi kisi aur say ho jati hai to uska rawiyya bhi bohat different hota hai apnay spouse kay saath agar jo batain usko pasand hon aur wo uskay spouse main na milaay to.
Ziadatar aisay hi spouses ki apas main naheen bunti jo kisi kay shadeed ishq main pehlay say giraftar hotay hain aur unka dil o dimagh kisi aur ko tasleem naheen karta. Aisay hi logon ki aksar unjaam divorce per hi khatm hoti hai.
Kisi spouse ki bayrukhi aksar is wajah say bhi hoti hai aur wo apnay spouse ko itna ahmiaat naheen dayta.
Isi liaay shadi say pehlay kisi kay ishq main agar giraftar hon to yay soch kar karna chahyay kay main nain apnay spouse ka poora haq ada karna hai jo bhi kuch milnay ka meri taraf say uska haq hai.
Jub tuk aap ka dimagh mukammal tor par kisi ko qubool karnay kay liaay taiyyar na ho jaay shadi na karain.
Re: Love Affairs
the past life holds a very indelible mark on ur life. whether u had affairs or not, it haunts u. if u didn't had any then there might b regrets or in sum cases u bcum satisfied for a transparent life. while if you had any then at times u compare ur present with the past or u feel blessed.
AFTER ALL LIFE MEANS PAST, PRESENT AND FUTURE AND U CAN'T SEGREGATE ANY PART FROM THE REST.
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Honestly speaking, do people hwo had love affairs regret that they had them?
Dothose who did not have love affairs regret that they didnt?
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^^ ab kon bewaqoof aap ko bataaye ga / gi k uss ne affair kia hai ..
btw ..just something came to mind.. if the affair goes to a level where it becomes physial if ya know what i mean . then at that time of action . the persons iemaan is raised from them ... and that that time of action the person is NOT a muslim ..and its such a bad action especially from a muslim .. is why the lashing and stoning is applied ..
Eventually we all do get married. Do you think an affair, serious or not, affects person's personality after marriage? Does one becomes open minded if he/she had an affair before getting married because I have witnessed that in west things like past relationships, marriage and even kids are not issues like they are in the East.
It does effect you in the West. Heck, when you have too many past relationsips, even gorays will label you as a slut or tramp (where East and West unite - women always get labeled, though it takes two to tango). Having kids effects your future relationships- many men don't want don't want to date women with "baggage"-- and they're are dangers to it too-- espeially women with daughters--OH THE STORIES IN THE PAPER OF STEPFATHERS molesting their step daughters, etc.!!!
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Not every affair or relationship has to include physical activity.
I know there are people who wish that htey had never gotten in a relationship with someone or fallen in love with them..while others wish that they could have taken a chance to be iwth someone.
Re: Love Affairs
i guess past relationship does change ppl a bit.. when they get married they think about all the lil sweet things their ex used to do and then if their spouse isnt doing it.. they feel like oh i should have just stayed with my ex because of those reasons.. and it could effect marriage in a very negative way.
Eventually we all do get married. Do you think an affair, serious or not, affects person's personality after marriage? Does one becomes open minded if he/she had an affair before getting married because I have witnessed that in west things like past relationships, marriage and even kids are not issues like they are in the East.
Yes it does. It does not have to be a physical affair like someone said but your previous relationships with the opposite sex will someone affect your personality.
You know even your parents relationship with each other affects your personality in terms of how you will treat your spouse and what you think is right or wrong.
I don't understand the 2nd part of you question. Open minded to what? Are you saying that in the west, spouses dont have an issue with previous relationships that their spouse had. I know they had issues with IF they have them WHILE they are married.
i guess past relationship does change ppl a bit.. when they get married they think about all the lil sweet things their ex used to do and then if their spouse isnt doing it.. they feel like oh i should have just stayed with my ex because of those reasons.. and it could effect marriage in a very negative way.
I don't think that is true! I think most people think of thier ex - once they are married.
Re: Love Affairs
Nothing wrong at all with a hot-n-steamy love affair....
as long as its with your spouse.
Every marriage has its ups and downs...so when it reaches one of those "downs", find something. Anything. to add that spark back to the marriage. It works, it surely does. I have had a few lovely affairs with my love, my hubby. And I highly recommend it.
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Mama that was the cutest reponse ever. 
)
Okay so people, what’s with this love affairs topic. How about those people who’ve known their husbands and wives a couple years before marriage - that is considered a love affair too? :aq:
Or are we just talking about dating for the hell of dating. Knowing that both people aren’t going anywhere with it?