Meri aik dost hai…
Shes an amazing girl…we were really tight. Close. But then she has an affair outside her marriage, and i dont know what to say to her anymore. She confided in me, and Im too soft for her feelings…didnt discourage it enough. I found out from other websites the religion behind this situation, but now i need advice on what i should say to her…
to make long story short: she gonna marry this guy, divorced the last, got a kid, doesnt have her priorities straight about her kid, infact double thinking to marry the other guy…she wasnt like this and now im scared shes fell into the wrong track and still is sinking.
i dont know if more details need to be provided for u guyz to help me out but…pls help…anyone?
What about her family? where are they in this entire picture?
what has to happen will happen, who are you or someone else to judge someone we don't know if he truns out to be the right guy for her. also life changes every minute. you never know if this is the way she has to get an experience in life. Love is deff and blind it only has feelings and that is the only language it understands. if she made up her mind to go for this guy nobody or nothing can change her mind. if you are her true friend you will stay beside her for whatever the outcome is. she will learn her lesson or you will realize you thought wrong. be her friend don't leave just because she disagrees with you now if she is wrong she will alway appreciate you and your opinion in the future.
Good Luck
This seems more like a relationship issue involving marital fidelity. Its more appropriate to transfer it to Family forum where the participants are more attuned to provide specific advise on such issues. Also, if you search there, you will notice, similar topics were discussed there earlier too, with some really good advice.
If you have a specific Islamic or religious question related to this situation, please start a new thread here with more specific religious question.
Thanks.
yari-EH
its a tough situation and i’ve been in a similar one where my friend changed in her behavior and did things she would never have done…her attitude with me tho did not change and she still trusted me n prolly expected that what she was doing would not affect our friendship…the good things in her and the time we had spent together was also still there and her behaviour did not affect that…
i understand it might be tough not to but i think that u shud try to not judge ur friend…as she trusts u…n prolly relies on u since she considers u her friend…also remember u n ur friends r after all two different individuals and have ur own sense of morals and will lead ur own lives…u might do things too that she thinks r bad…they cud be of a different nature than what u said she did but on her scale cud be as bad…
n she obviously is going thru a tuff time n needs someone to be there for her…
but i can understand how u feel n the dilemma u r facing…
ask urself how much u care for her…and be honest with urself…if u really do care for her very much then u shud stick with her no matter what, yet at the same time let her know gently and at the right times that what she is doing is not good…
a thought that crossed my mind is…the ultimate love in human relationships is that which a mother has for her child…and a mother will never leave her child no matter what…
but that is not expected out of every relationship..mother child is a different thing…
so think abt ur relationship with her and then decide…
another issue that comes here, and since i have been in a similar situation i felt this…the issue is the selfish aspect and it is very human and natural…
saving yourself…
- banda apnay doston se pehchana jata hae…
and
- ‘bad’ company rubs off…and islam tells us not to be in bad company…
but in islam we are also supposed to be loyal to our friends n not hurt others…n she might be hurt if u leave her…
so u have to also be honest with yourself and figure out why it is exactly that u wanna leave her…and why it is that if u did stay with her u would…
compare the pros and cons and decide…
n most importantly listen to the voices from ur heart abt what is right…
wish u the best 
n hope ur friend also finds peace n contentment for herself…
Yari, the best thing you can do is be her friend. For all her possible certainties, she must be pretty confused and unhappy.
None of us can get into another person's mind. None of us can tell what is really happening in another person's marriage. We can try and understand, work out some mechanisms but they are, in the final analysis, only our own interpretations.
What are your priorities? What do you want to do and what do you think you CAN do? Do you want to help your friend find the best solution for her? Does her situation make you feel threatened? Do you want her to see your point of view? Do you know her husband? Any other considerations of the situation?
What's done is done, now the job is to salvage the salvageable. Ask your friend what she would like from you- can you hold her hand and listen? Does she need help looking after the child? Does she need you to talk to her family?