thats a big problem ....i think most guys get tired of looking at the same face/body
i am looking for a girl rite now and the moment i think i have found a good one, i think that there are better looking ones ...so its so hard to reach a decision .....
and harder still to stick to one woman ....i have had one divorce and one of the biggest reason for it was that my ex will not keep herself presentable and avalible without getting explicit] granted the fact that she had a tough job but she failed to fulfill the basic duties of a wife
It's natural...initial love or infatuation stage is marked by a rush of dopamine, the same chemical that gives one a drug high. It is not possible to sustain it long-term. However, the initial love can help cement the future relationship that follows. Or once the dopamine wears off, you might realize that ur hubby is a total dud. Might be in a lot of ways. Some guys are just clueless...even if they are really nice, they just come home from work, eat dinner, and then roll over on their wife. I'm sorry, but this is going to make your wife hate you. Other guys kill their wife's self-image with their criticisms.
However, even when a spouse is an all-around good person, the other one might be looking for the 'next best thing'. I read a really good book recently and the author called these people 'maximizers'. FOr example, if a maximizer needs a new blue sweater, he is not going to buy the first one that meets his criteria. He is going to go to every single store in the mall, compare prices, fit, color, etc. Even when he finds a sweater to buy, he will still keep thinking about his other options (maybe i should have gotten the cobalt blue one...this one makes me look fat...etc). A satisficer (not a typo), on the other hand, has high standards, but when he finds a sweater that meets his standards, he is content with it. He doesn't agonize over the other sweaters. One would think having reviewed all the options, the maximizer would be happier. But he isn't! In fact the study found that people who like to review all these choices actually become less happy with their decisions because they regret over options that might have been better than the chosen one. Sometimes maximizers are so overwhelmed by the prospect of regret they simply avoid making decisions at all. I can see some ppl in their 30s like this, becoming more and more picky about their potential spouse or simply stating that they don't care anymore. THe author noted that sometimes maximizers did, in fact, make better decisions than people termed satisficers; however, the satisficers were more content with their decision and long-term, people who 'satisficed' were less depressed and anxious than maximizers. It makes me think....is it really so great to make the 'perfect' decision when one cannot even be content with it? Better to be reasonable and happy, right? Something to think about...
