Re: looks doesn't matter
looks also matter but should be secondary because remember, looks will be gone in 10 15 years in the marriage, your personal traits stay with you rest of your life... and we're not talking about spending next 10 or 15 years but rest of the life!
Re: looks doesn't matter
you guys just don't get a point here. i am not saying that i am getting married to the blog guy or anything. i was just trying to make a point by mentioning him.
what i was trying to say that for me, when i get attracted toward the personality, his face becomes attractive to me, if i don't like the personality, i don't find him attractive at all.
Re: looks doesn't matter
I believe thats one of the old line that Guys/girls use to hit on others .. .. but bottom line .. its FALSE.
just imagine, would you be even interested to talk to someone if he/she doesn't appeal you physically ? think rationally.
if its love, then this line "could be true" but even to fall in love, you gotta get into some interactino and that interactino would start with some conversation etc and if he/she isn't good looking you would not even bother to talk to em
no that's not true. maybe your experience but not mine. in past there has been quite a few guys i never even bother looking at but once i find out their personality, i find them attractive.
you can't really tell just by a blog, you need to talk and spend some time together to really know a person.
some people are average looking but when you start to know them you start finding them more appealing.
aray yaar, i am not getting married to him. it's just a crush. and that crush is based on that hypothetical thought that he is exactly how i think he is judging from his blogs. if that is the case then i would love to marry him but as everyone knows that's usually not the case. that is why this crush is a crush, i am not gonna propose him in the comments section.
Yanzla. Often what and how one writes may not necessairly be the guide to know his real self. He may be funny online but in real a very serious type of guy. I don't know how it is with most people but i am often told by my siblings that i am more nicer online than in real, lolz. I think that has got to do with the fact that i express better in words. So yah.
p.s hai kaun :p
well, i don't think that guy is actually "ha ha ha" funny all the time, but i guess he is more like that kinda of a guy who has good sense of humor, and he is very intelligent, and simple sort of a person. i mean u can guess that after 3 years of blog posts.
and i don't wanna tell who he is, what if u don't like him that good :( maira dil toot jaye ga.
Looks play an important role in married life atleast for me!!!
I dont want to wake up every morning next to a guy who i think isnt attractive...
ok, soo lets say hypothetically, something happened to ur husband and he got fat/bald or something i don't know but that changes his appearance to something u didn't like when u were looking for a guy to marry. would u leave him.
Looks do matter. You can tell yourself it doesnt matter, but it does. Nothing shallow about it. Being 'attracted to someone' is the understanding that their 'looks' is what attracted you in one way or another. Now, what kind of looks attracted you, good-bad, hot-not, thats all subjective from person to person. Ever asked someone, 'is he good looking?' and the answer was 'no, hes attractive for me though'...thats still looks. So at the end of the day, its all about your own definition.
attraction is not ONLY based on looks. not to me a tleast.
Re: looks doesn't matter
I agree and disagree with you. Like people have mentioned, the first thing we see are looks. If they're at least mildly good looking, and you love the personality, then the looks will seem better to you.
On the other hand, looks are looks. If they guy is rude etc, you'll still find him attractive PHYSICALLY, maybe not as a whole but physically. Women who are ovulating prefer big, good looking guys with muscles and prefer more feminine, less threatening men, the rest of the time. Physically attractive guy for the good genes, other guy because he's more likely to stay and raise the kid.
So yes, if you knew someone's personality and looks were so-so, not a big deal. But it would be very rare for you to fall for an ugly guy right away. You need at least some physical attraction.
Re: looks doesn't matter
looks also matter but should be secondary because remember, looks will be gone in 10 15 years in the marriage, your personal traits stay with you rest of your life... and we're not talking about spending next 10 or 15 years but rest of the life!
it sure will help make those 15 years a lot more fun, if she got a banging body with a cute face
Re: looks doesn't matter
i would say one thing..."khobsorti chehre pe nahi hote balke dekhne wale k ankh mei hote haï"
jab insan kese ko chahta hai use us k har cheez pasand a jati hai..per har ek ka apna view hota hai...:)
Re: looks doesn't matter
hey Yanzala,
i completely understand what u r saying even if others dont. Looks may be important but they are not THE most important thing. THE important thing is to find someone who you really get along with regardless of how they look. Looks are not everything because one day everyones looks will fade but that person will remain with you so it is their personailty u must be attracted to. Also we are all unique people, what u find attractive i may not and what i find attractive u may not. tht doesnt make either one of us wrong. As you said if u find them attractive as a person then u will find them attractive when u see them. MY hubby-to-be i met him through work and at the beginning we didnt even talk to each other. he says he fell for me the first time he saw me but until i get to know someone personally looks have no impact on me. It took us 2 and half years to finally get together but we did and i couldnt be any happier. MashAllah he is such a perfect guy in every respect and he cares for me so much. i am attracted to him both his looks and personality. if there was no personality then there would be no us.
so what i am saying is ignore all these people who are talking bout something completely different, u carry on with what u r doing!
All the best!
Re: looks doesn't matter
Looks don't matter? That sounds very definite and contradicts human nature. Looks will matter. However the degree to which they matter will vary from person to person. For some it's far from being a deal-breaker and for others it's an essential quality. I'm not saying that it's the only quality that one should look for as you should feel compatible with the other person. But physical attraction does play a role in relationships.
The idea of looks not mattering at all sounds strange to me considering that most of us don't walk around with our eyes closed and we CERTAINLY take "looks" into account with all other things in our life such as how a dish looks before serving it, or designing a house, or when we buy products for ourselves. It's something we pay attention to with great frequency in our daily lives and it sounds odd that this innate behavior would automatically and completely shut off when it comes to rishtas. I don't think that happens. What accounts for the differences is one's individual prioritization of "looks."
Re: looks doesn't matter
well, i don't think that guy is actually "ha ha ha" funny all the time, but i guess he is more like that kinda of a guy who has good sense of humor, and he is very intelligent, and simple sort of a person. i mean u can guess that after 3 years of blog posts. and i don't wanna tell who he is, what if u don't like him that good :( maira dil toot jaye ga.
Lolz. Judging from your posts, you should be the last one to care if i or anybody else likes him or not :D.
p.s i like him already from what you express of him so far :p.
Re: looks doesn’t matter
Looks do change or fade a little over time but they don’t always change that drastically and if someone is gorgeous in their 20s/30s they usually won’t become that unattractive as they get older if they look after themselves.. I’ve seen women and men who even into their late forties can still turn heads when they go out and of course there are obvious physical traits that ppl are attracted to that will always be there even if they do change a little eg. light eyes or large brown eyes, big lips, dimples..
Of course as we get older we hopefully develop a stronger bond with our partners so the physical attraction prob isn’t as important but at the same time it would be sad if we looked at them and felt nothing at all and had to resort to thinking of the next door neighbour or something when laying in bed together.. Sometimes people act as if there is no point marrying someone u feel so much attraction to cos that attractiveness will just completely disappear a few years down the line 
Re: looks doesn't matter
ok, soo lets say hypothetically, something happened to ur husband and he got fat/bald or something i don't know but that changes his appearance to something u didn't like when u were looking for a guy to marry. would u leave him.
No not at all!
When couples get old or stay together for sometime, they develop a bond that does not take looks into account. At that time looks becomes secondary but in the start they play a vital role!
I agree with what deeba1234 has said!
Re: looks doesn't matter
I agree and disagree with you. Like people have mentioned, the first thing we see are looks. If they're at least mildly good looking, and you love the personality, then the looks will seem better to you.
On the other hand, looks are looks. If they guy is rude etc, you'll still find him attractive PHYSICALLY, maybe not as a whole but physically. Women who are ovulating prefer big, good looking guys with muscles and prefer more feminine, less threatening men, the rest of the time. Physically attractive guy for the good genes, other guy because he's more likely to stay and raise the kid.
So yes, if you knew someone's personality and looks were so-so, not a big deal. But it would be very rare for you to fall for an ugly guy right away. You need at least some physical attraction.
LOL. Where did you get this stuff from?
I thought no one likes big muscly guys anymore, that's so 90's and old fashioned.
Re: looks doesn’t matter
HAha I didn’t mean Governator big but more masculine. To be more precise, they prefer more masculine facial features. I did read it in an article but just found another one which refutes that so there you go. Once again, no one understands women.